A new blog for a new year. That's what this is. I felt like MSN Spaces wasn't cutting it any longer. I needed to actually start a blogspot Blog. I will leave my other blog up and even update the photo albums, but as for the actually blogging...it will occur here. Perhaps I will receive comments and more views - perhaps?
Tonight I will blog about something I read on Tyson's blog tonight (even though I should be in bed, as 5:30am comes quite early). He wrote about hearing God's voice, and how we need to always be listening...so closely that God's voice becomes a whisper in our ear, because we're so close to Him. And as I read and commented I realized that this is a problem for me. God is yelling in my ear and I'm still not hearing. It's not because I'm ignoring His voice (I don't think), but I really can't hear God's voice. And I realized this is a problem with my friendships too. Since I was little I've always talked too much and not listened enough. In fact, you'll notice many of my best friends are more on the quiet side. It's because I found friends who will listen to me. And I became horribly aware of how selfish that is tonight. I didn't do it on purpose, but I need to learn to listen more often. And I thought that I learned to listen last year at CLBI, and I realize we're always growing, but if this is growth...man, I don't want to know where I was last year. Anyways...so I've always had friends that will just listen, and I've always had a hard time listening to them, and now this is a problem with God. So how do I listen to God?
Tyson wrote about giving up fleshly desires...but than my pride comes in..."What fleshly desires?" I think. I'm aware that skating takes up my time, and Jordon and work...but aren't these godly desires too? Jordon and I have a relationship that aims and wants to serve Christ - that's why we want to be together. I work hard and I work dilligently - isn't that godly too? I'm not really doing it for money, more than to live. Honestly, I'd have found a different job long ago if it were for the money. And coaching and skating, well...I'm skating to stay in shape - and that's godly too right? And coaching is something I love to - I'm giving back and representing Christ in a mostly non-Christian environment. So now what? I'm I justifying my fleshly desires or do I not hear God's voice? But then in order to hear God's voice more clearly, I need to give up fleshly desires...but I'm not sure if those are. Are they hidden?
What now? The confusion has overtaken my mind right now. How do I hear God's voice? How do I give it all up to Him? How do I become a better listener and a worse talker (not speaker, talker)? How do I grow closer with Him?
kortney elise xoxo
1 comments:
Kortney, just some thoughts on your post - sometimes things aren't black and white, falling into tidy categories of godly and fleshly desires. Lance is often good to remind me to seek God in my days plans -- meaning, I need to be open to drop things (good things) that I think are "musts", because the only real musts are what he has in mind for my day. This usually results with me being a little grumpy and frustrated because I tend to take on too many things - mostly "godly" - and realize that often I'm operating on my own schedule and strength. Ah, the perfectionist in me hates not getting things right so then there's another issue to deal with.
Did you read the book last year called, "Can You Hear Me?" I think there are some real practical and encouraging things in there about learning to tune into God's voice.
May God bless you as you seek to have open ears -- I praise him that he has given us the Holy Spirit, who does a lot of ear opening.
Aimee
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