Doctors are Funny – Edition 1

I wish I could share with you the details of lots of the stuff I transcribe. Some of it is hilarious and I find myself laughing right out loud quite frequently. Most of the details have been changed during the practicum (like names, dates, and locations) so I do feel comfortable sharing some of this stuff. BUT for legal purposes I'm supposed to add…if you think the following dictation is about you. It's not. So don't worry about it! Favourite dictations to date:

• The doctor who tripped, fell, and yelled "ufda" in the middle of her dictation. Wouldn't you pause and rerecord? I would. How embarrassing.
  
• The doctor who explained that the patient goes to the woman's health clinic for her, "uh, womanly issues." Really? You're a doctor and you can't talk about her "womanly issues." I wonder if he laughs when a patient tells him about certain body parts.
  
• The doctor who includes whether or not the patient wears a seatbelt regularly in every transcription under social history, even if it is unrelated. For example, the patient comes in complaining of a sore throat for two weeks. The doctor includes the following: "The patient does not drink alcohol, smokes 1 pack daily, and wears seatbelts regularly." Right. And besides, if you didn't wear a seatbelt and the doctor asked, wouldn't you just say you did? I would (if I didn't always wear my seatbelt).
  
• I really liked the doctor who explained to his (morbidly) obese patient that he needs to lose weight. The patient's response? He laughed in the doctor's face. The doctor seemed surprised. You don't think that the patient had heard that before?
  
• I might have a sick mind, but I still laughed with the doctor stated that the patient could be discharged and use his hands the way he wants.
  
• I laughed out loud when the ESL doctor stated that the blood pressure was 110 stroking 80…most dictators would say 110 over 80 or simply 110 80. But stroking? Ha.
  
• This isn't so much a doctor's error as much as a "Hmmm…people REALLY go to the doctor for that?" This patient went to the EMERGENCY ROOM for insomnia, tiredness, irritability, and forgetfulness. That's the story of my life no?
  

I have a feeling many more laughs and good times are ahead.
kortney elise xoxo