I just liked this logo - and well, I did it. I *just* realized that today is the 30th and I officially did 30 posts in 30 days for "NaBloPoMo" (National Blog Post Month). I win, I win.kortney elise xoxo
I just liked this logo - and well, I did it. I *just* realized that today is the 30th and I officially did 30 posts in 30 days for "NaBloPoMo" (National Blog Post Month). I win, I win.In case you're new to my blog, I'm working on grouping all my endo posts together – but for now click here to see what endometriosis is. If you're a man, or perhaps an easily grossed out woman, this might be too much information for you. Unless you're one of those men that periods don't bother you. Your choice.
Hi, my name is Kortney and I have endometriosis. The doctors tried to tell me it would go away after the first surgery, the second, the third…and for good after getting pregnant. I thought it did. I really thought it did after Alexys came out and I spent the first 6 months period-less and pain free. I even thought it was gone after the first month of my period. I tried to believe after 2 months that it was still gone. I'm sitting here really trying not to feel depressed right now. I don't think I can trick myself into thinking it's really gone anymore. In fact, I think it's back. Really and truly. I can't deny it.
I tried to deny it. Endometriosis and pregnancies/miscarriages have a lot in common, ya know. I tried to convince myself I was pregnant and miscarrying, and that's what these symptoms were. For me, at this point in my life, that emotional toll would be less than dealing with endometriosis again. I've taken 2 pregnancy tests and they're negative. I know I'm not pregnant. I know I'm not miscarrying. I even had the blood work done, just in case.
In the past 30 days, I have had my period for 23 of those days on and off. It's very frustrating. Only 7 days were in the clear. I am on birth control even. My periods should be easy to predict and not painful, right? Wrong. 23 days is not fun. 23 days of "protection" is expensive. 23 days of cramps is terrible. Especially when combined with kidney pain. I try not to complain. But today, I have to get it off my chest. I sit on the toilet and feel the chunks coming out of me. Disgusting, fine, but it's true. I sit and just wait to be emptied every morning as the blood clots fall. It's terrible. I don't have time to sit and feel sorry myself, but that seems to be the only option at that point every morning.
True, the cramps are not AS bad as before Alexys, but this bleeding is out of control. It's not fair. I thought my relationship with the woman's health centre was done, but clearly it's not – they received a phone call from me today. I have to get a re-referral and I'm it'll take months to get in. I'm going back to my family doctor next week and I'm going to request stronger hormones to control this. I can't live with this. It's not fair. I know she'll make me try "in between" drugs, because she's a new family doctor and doesn't know all my history. I'm going to beg. I hate this. I really thought it was over.
Sorry for complaining. I just needed to get it off my chest.
kortney elise xoxo

It's amazing how far you can come in three years.
This is a website that my friend sent to me not too long ago and one I've been doing a lot of looking into lately. It's called "Skin Deep" and is a cosmetic safety database. It's not all cosmetics like makeup (like I thought before I clicked into it), but contains a lot of information on children's creams, shampoos, etc. I've been trying to convert our buying products according to this list – I'm using up what we have at home, of course, but we're working on curbing our buying to avoid certain ingredients, especially in Alexys' things.
Here's a list of ingredients that have "no required safety testing, [so] companies that make personal care products can use almost any chemical they want, regardless of risks." Sketchy, no?
Ingredients to avoid at all costs?
1. 2-BROMO-2-NITROPROPANE-1,3-DIOL - Allergen that forms cancer-causing chemicals.
2. BHA - Causes skin depigmentation.
3. DMDM HYDANTOIN - Allergen that forms cancer-causing chemicals.
4. OXYBENZONE - Allergen; forms free radicals to damage skin.
5. TRICLOSAN - May disrupt growth hormones from the thyroid.
6. BORIC ACID & SODIUM BORATE - Unsafe for infants according to industry experts.
7. DIBUTYL PHTHALATE & TOLUENE - Found in nail polish/play makeup; hormone disruption, cancer concerns.
There is also a list of ingredients to avoid when possible linked on this page.
Who are the best brand's to buy from? All one's I've never heard of, of course!!! Aubrey Organics, Carol's Daughter, Dr. Bronner's, Earth Tribe, and Keys all have a hazard score of 0. However, Burt's Bees is a more common brand and their hazard score is just 1. For now, we're going to work on buying things with Burt's Bees! I love their lip chap, so the rest of their products must be good too. Their hazard score is a one because often their products do contain fragrance.
Bad brands that often contain many of these contaminants are more popular than you'd think: Johnson & Johnson (only some products), Huggies, Colgate, most sunscreens (including Coppertone, Aveeno, and Banana Boat), Kirkland, and Pampers.
If anything, check out the website – it's a good read at the very least and makes you want to double check a lot of the everyday products you use in terms of lotions, shampoos, and even toothpaste!!
kortney elise xoxo
Oh Not Me, how I've missed you! Trust me. It's not because I've stopped doing stupid and silly things lately. There's plenty of mistakes and duh moments to go around. I think I choose to forget them…because when I go to write them down. Gone. Like the wind. Or something.Not Me is a blog carnival started by MckMama, who's son Stellan just underwent a successful surgery to heal his SVT. You should check out her blog for both reasons – a story of miraculous healing AND a story about every mother's typical "not me" kinda week!
So what haven't I done lately? I don't promise this was all this week. Just in recent memory.
To start, I sure don't have a tower of laundry waiting to be folded that, if stacked high, is taller than me. Or taller. I can't not tell you, because the tower is not too high to add clothes on top. Not me. I always iron my clothes and put them away, just like my Mama taught me.
I did not eat Alphaghetti straight out of the jar multiple times this past little while. Not me. That's disgusting and obviously I warm things like that up. Every time. I'm also not known for eating other soupy things straight out of the jar – not things like mushroom soup or alphabet soup. Not me.
I did not send out 10 resumes the other day to companies other than medical transcription companies (ie: corporation, legal, etc.) in hopes of finding a job for December to tide me over until my practicum is done. Not me. I wasn't disappointed to not get any replies. I'm not struggling with the thought of letting God provide at the busiest, most expensive time of year. Not me. I'm a great Christian who never struggles with letting God be in charge. Not me.
I'm not secretly praying for the lights to go out at 8-Rinks tonight and our ice time to be cancelled, because I don't feel well. Not me. I love going to skating practices at 10 o'clock at night and know we need all the practice we can get. After all our countdown looks like this:
-1 practice till our first LMSSC demo
-8 practices till our first real demo at the PI Gala
-16 practices till our first competition in Mississauga – Winterfest. Eek.
Anyways, that was not for my own benefit to try and convince me that practice tonight is a good thing. I'm not not convinced. Too many negatives. I still wish the power would go out at 8-Rinks. Don't tell the coach.
My head hurts.
kortney elise xoxo
Oozing and rectum.
Trust me.
Barf.
kortney elise xoxo
(PS: This stuff isn't getting any less gross. I really have a whole new respect for nurses and doctors. I can't type it without envisioning it and just the vision is bad enough for me to push my dinner away. Gross.).
I know, I said I was going to stick to labour/delivery/babies this month, but my judging course set me a little offtrack. I'm sorry. This post is for anyone who needs to understand figure skating judges, scoring, etc. I just needed to get this all out I think.
This section pertains only to the PCS score (the second score) that all skaters in all disciplines are given. I've included the video of Nexxice at last year's world championships in Zagreb, where they took home the GOLD medal and became the first Canadian World Synchronized Skating Champions ever. This program is good enough to give anyone chills and I believe it strongly represents high PCS scores (in the mid to high 9 range). Here's how you, too, can decode PCS:
• There is a second score that judges hand out and this is comparable to the old presentation score.
• It is not as objective as the TES score (which I will post about another day), because it is a subjective topic. Judges are never supposed to say “I think” but it happens, because it is hard to steer away from that. However, there is a focus and it IS heading that way. For now, however, it is imperfect.
• There are five parts to the PCS – Skating Skills, Transitions, Performance/Execution, Choreography/Composition, and Interpretation. Yes, they sound similar. And they are. Sort of. They are related, yes, but once broken down, they are different. The titles should just be more clear. The details are clearer.
• Each of this portion is given a mark by each judge. The high and low are thrown out, averaged, and bam. You add them up and that’s your PCS score. Simple.
• You then add your TES and PCS and that’s what your score is. You can compare your own score from competition to competition, but not to previous years as much, because standards/rules/etc have changed.
• Each PCS is graded on a scale from 0 to 10 in 0.25 sections (ie: 3.25, 4.75, etc).
• It is important that although they are different, they are related. Generally you will not receive say a 10 on skating skills and only a 2 on Choreography. A team that has the ability to skate with skills of a 10 will not be able to demonstrate this with a program given a 2 for choreography. It’ll make sense once we go though each section.
• It is important to note that there is no declared range for each level. An adult team could get a 10 if they skate that way. That has not happened. So you can get an idea, Nexxice Senior is the 9s range. Adult last year tended to range from a low of 1.75 to a high of 4.5 in the same event.
PCS Sections Broken Down:
Skating Skills:
-Balance/rhythmic knee action/precise foot.
-Effortless glide.
-Cleanness, sureness of deep edges, steps, and turns.
-Power, energy, and ability to accelerate (not necessarily go fast all the time!).
-Multidirectional skating.
-One foot skating.
-Equal technique of all skaters.
Transitions:
-Variety
-Difficulty
-Intricacy
-Quality (including unison)
Performance/Execution:
-Physical, emotional, and intellectual involvement.
-Carriage (upper body especially).
-Style.
-Clarity of movements.
-Variety.
-Projection.
-Unison and “oneness.”
-Spatial awareness between skaters.
-Ability to change holds.
Choreography/Composition:
-Purpose (idea, concept, vision).
-Proportion (too much time on transitions, sacrificing elements?).
-Unity.
-Pattern and ice coverage.
-Phrasing and form.
-Originality of purpose, movement, design.
Interpretation:
-Effortless movements in time to the music.
-Expression of music style, character, and rhythm.
-Hitting nuances in the music.
-Using other skaters to demonstrate character of music.
Hope that maybe this makes skating scoring slightly easier to understand next time you see it on TV, especially with Olympic season just around the corner.
Look for TES scores another day!
kortney elise xoxo

nian was born, but not a pump...the bottle was primarily to fill and freeze when I wanted to go out for longer than the 2-4 hours (which I never planned on doing often). I never had any issues with my milk coming in (other than the pain when my boobs were full) - but my nipples did crack a lot in the first few weeks and it was PAINFUL to feed him, even when he was latched on properly. But I just bit my lip, and would put lanolin creme on right afterward, and even though I never thought the cracking would heal, it eventually did, and I never had any pain after that.
...for cough and cold season.
I read this on my school website and just about peed myself laughing (it was part of a larger post entitled 7 Simple Life Solutions…but they weren't really that funny. Just this one point.):
"The perfect cure for a bad cough is laxatives. Then, you'll be afraid to cough."
HAHA.
kortney elise xoxo
PS: The section of school I'm now requires me to transcribe "verbatim" and I had to share how difficult this actually is. Sounds a LOT easier than it is in fact. You're thinking, well, just type what they say, right? Exactly that's right and that's why it's so hard. Everything we've learned up until this point is pretty much moot – on a verbatim account, you cannot change anything. If the dictator is ESL, then you type the poor grammar. If the dictator numbers a list as "1, 2, 4" then you type the list and omit number 3. If dictator uses "dangerous abbreviations" (which my computer is set to automatically change to the un-dangerous versions), you write them. It's really annoying actually and it's taking a lot longer than I first suspected it would. Just 4 sections left until my final!
Do you have a breastfeeding story to share? I'd love to hear your story – the challenges, the struggles, the successes.
I added a poll to the top of my blog today – if you have children, I'd love for you to answer. It's regarding breastfeeding and the length of time you CHOSE to breastfeed. There is an option if you chose not to breastfeed. There is also an option if you were unable to breastfeed. If you select the unable to breastfeed option, I'd really like to hear your story. What happened? How come? What efforts did you make to help your milk come in?
I wanted to share my breastfeeding story, except it's not a very long story (unlike my child. Get it? I'm so funny). Alexys came out eating. She latched on within minutes of being born. I called the nurse once during the night while I was in the hospital, because I was having "trouble" getting her to latch on. The nurse latched her on for me. Looking back, I think I was just tired and delirious and probably not aiming her mouth right. Alexys never looked back. My milk came in. Alexys ate. Alexys pooped. Alexys grew. Alexys was exclusively breastfed until she was 9 months (although I'll admit that wasn't necessarily a decision I made – she made that decision apparently). She is still being breastfed once or twice a day at nearly 11 months (11 months! I can't believe she's that old!). We're starting the weaning process as we speak, so that we'll be done by her first birthday. That's it. That's all.
In turn of our nearly perfect breastfeeding relationship, I figured it couldn't be that hard if you were determined. I took precautions – I didn't have formula in the house when she was born. I didn't pump at the beginning, because I wanted to sure that the supply and demand was appropriate to Alexys' needs, not my own. I didn't give her a bottle until she was 5-weeks old, just in case nipple confusion was experienced (hindsight, this part was smart. With future children, however, I will give a bottle more frequently after this point).
However, in the last couple of months I have had a couple of friends experience REAL trouble with breastfeeding – things beyond their control. In turn, I've been doing lots of research on breastfeeding. Why things go wrong. How they go wrong. Are they REALLY going wrong.
I'd love to hear your story. Feel free to comment it or send me an email coachkortney @ gmail . com
If you had a struggle/success story, I'd love to share it (I can leave it anonymous, don't worry…and I'll change details enough that no one will know it's you!).
kortney elise xoxo
PS: Your answers are totally anonymous on the poll, so I won't know who voted or how!
Well, if you know me, you'll know it's not so secret. I love perezhilton.com. There. It's out. I know it's terrible, but I love reading celebrity trash. This is my way of not buying gossip magazines. So I'll just keep reading. I know it's not all true. I know there's other gossip sites out there with maybe more truth to them. But I like Perez and his sense of humour (usually).But here's something that Perez wouldn't have on his site. I know it. He previously bashed the breastfeeding doll (I don't know what I think of the doll. I think mostly I think: Do we need to actually have a doll marketed for breastfeeding? Why can't I use a regular doll? Doesn't that happen anyways?) and so it seems that maybe he doesn't support breastfeeding. But who knows. Anyways. Here's my tribute to celebrities and breastfeeding.
Famous Nursing Mothers?
Click here for an exhaustive list put together by breastfeeding.com!
Angelina Jolie
Carly Simon
Carrie-Anne Moss
Brooke Shields
Celine Dion
Christina Aguilera
Cindy Crawford
Courtney Cox-Arquette
Debra Messing
Diane Sawyer
Gwen Stefani
Gwyneth Paltrow
Hillary Clinton
Joan Rivers
Kate Hudson
Kelly Rippa
Lisa Kudrow
Mary Lou Retton
Meryl Streep
Nicole Richie
Reese Witherspoon
Diana, Princess of Wales
Victoria Beckham
Heck, even Britney Spears nursed both her boys for a little while.
Who's not nursing their babies? Well, there's no extensive list, but a recent quote from Jennifer Lopez on her twins, Emme and Max:
"My mom didn't breastfeed and I think that was the thing for me. You read and figure out what's the best thing for them."
My question is, where did she read that it was best to give them formula? Perhaps she meant differently, but it doesn't seem so. I realize that there are circumstances and situations that arise where formula is the best and/or only option (and in those cases, those moms should be supported and cared for as much as the breastfeeding mom is), but when a celebrity makes a statement like JLo did, many moms, especially young ones, do take note. And that's too bad for so many. Remember girls, if Britney Spears can try it, so can you.
Just kidding. I know I'm hilarious.
kortney elise xoxo
Here's a second blog post for you to enjoy today. Or not enjoy. It may actually be *TMI. I know this doesn't fit my month-long theme of labour and delivery, but maybe it'll make you laugh.
I had to share it because Jord isn't home from work yet, and this has so far trumped the rest of the dictations I've transcribed. Ready? Ready:
"I then incised the markings with the world's sharpest knife on the ventral aspect penis."
Really? The world's sharpest knife? Have you verified that? Because sure as sam, there is no such thing. This doctor made up the term. Like buddy, it's not even a good made up term. And it just made it funnier that it was the penis being cut. Didn't that put a lovely picture in your mind?
Glad I can brighten your day.
kortney elise xoxo
*too much information
Just in case I don't get around to blogging today for "real" - I wanted to share this video with you that my "cousin" (I don't know what she is...we're related somehow down the line...I'm Italian, remember? I'm related to a lot of people in weird ways) shared with me on Facebook. The end IS a little wonky (the last few minutes), but I do appreciate how this is information right out of the file you can download off the Health Canada website (click here for direct pdf file).
I know I've shared my opinion on this vaccine before, but here's a video that further shares my concerns about this (among other) vaccines.
kortney elise xoxo
PS: And as a side note for those of you who say to talk to your family doctor - my doctor specifically told me that if you're healthy, there is no need for the vaccination. You are actually in turn compromising your immune system by putting more unnatural things into your body. I don't normally like my family doctor, but this time, I'll support her.
Today's post is to provide a little bit of humour - what it would be like for a pain to experience childbirth...or at least labour.
Clearly it is impossible for this to really happen and there are lots of things *wrong* with this experience - many things that do not simulate a regular, first time birth, but overall, it made me giggle...and feel empowered as a woman.
Enjoy!
kortney elise xoxo
Will you participate? I'm going to take my best run at it among everything else that needs to be done this month. Officially, this month is known as nablopomo! I really think it's cool – basically you just blog everyday all month – it's that simple!
I think I'd like to focus on birthing, babies, and breastfeeding this month. Why? It's something I'm finding a real passion for lately. I've done a lot of research on these topics lately and feel like I've learned a lot that I'd like to share. Being able to share is my way of learning something new every day. I'm looking forward to delving into new information with you and looking forward to learning along with you. Please feel free to share your favourite links and ideas as I go along. I should also add that I'm not pregnant, nor are we "trying" at this point in time – that's a long ways away for now. I just really enjoy this kind of thing.
Because time is ticking tonight, I'd like to share a link from a fabulous blog – Bellies and Babies. If you have some time, click over and read some of her articles, and watch some of the videos (mostly shared from YouTube). My favourite video section that I've watched is here – I appreciate the last video (the 2-part one) the most. It's just less than 20 minutes, but I love it.
I hope that this research and learning leads to something in the future that is solid and worth my time. Maybe I'll share this new-ish dream with you this month. Let's just say for now, that I am hoping that I'll get a transcriptionist account with an OB/GYN or a midwife. That would be so fabulous.
Enjoy this blog and the videos she's shared!
kortney elise xoxo