I really, really appreciate all your guys' comments and encouragements after posting about my fears and "failure" of Alexys not talking to my standards. A couple of your comments even made me cry (ahem, mama)!!!!
It's a funny thing being a mama, ya know. There seems to be so much competition and jealousy and always for the wrong reasons. Everyone wants their kid to faster, stronger, higher...that sounds familiar? Hendiatris Citius, Altius, Fortius anyone (that's the Olympics motto in case you didn't catch on)? It bothers me why parents need their children potty trained at 12 months, why they need to read at 2, and why they have to sleep through the night at 4 weeks. I suppose that's the world we're living in - better seems to be best and even if you have to lie to make these things true, that's what mamas do.
Me, on the other hand? I'm totally honest. I don't lie. Here's what I think (especially after some good chat over tea yesterday with my mom and another mom around my mom's age...all with successful children now college or almost college age):
1) Saying your kid is potty trained, but having to ask them every 15 minutes if they have to go is not being potty trained. Worse yet, bringing them to the potty every 15 minutes isn't potty training either. You're training yourself to catch their signs. There's nothing wrong with a 2 year old in diapers. Plus if they're in diapers you don't have to worry about finding a bathroom when you're out.
2) Sleeping through the night is impossible and nobody, including adults, does it all the time. Your kid does wake up. At least sometimes. You choose to either ignore them and let them deal with it on their own or you get up and deal with it and lie about it.
3) Just because you've never fed your child McDonalds or something "unhealthy" doesn't mean you won't, doesn't mean they won't go to McDonalds as a teenager (they will), and you're probably lying anyways. And yes, I mean McDonalds as a coverall for Burger King, Subway, Quiznos, KFC, etc.
4) If your kid can speak two languages, do times tables, and long division at 5...you're probably going to have to put them in an expensive private school, because in regular kindergarten you learn to spell your name. And the kids who can do that already get bored and act out.
5) Barney and Wiggles are educational no matter what you say. Sure some shows out there are bizarre and uneducational...but does our whole life HAVE to be educational? Can't we all just settle down and have good old fashioned fun? I guess that doesn't fit the higher, faster, stronger deal does it?
6) If your kid has a bottle and soother at 3, it's not the end of the world. They won't in University. And if they do, well there is probably more issues to worry about than that they have a soother in University. You'll probably have to get them braces at 12...but then, you win some, you lose some.
This post kind of took a turn that I didn't expect to go down. Seriously - the words just started flowing. Now, hear me out - some kids are patient. Some are mature. Some truly are potty trained at 18 months without struggle. I guess my point is...every kid is different. Why do we have to strive for the Olympics of Toddlerhood?
And in case you're wondering: We're not potty training for a while - until Alexys is old enough to simply get it, she doesn't sleep through the night, she's eaten McDonalds and even recognizes the bag, she can sing her ABCs and count to five, she is watching a Barney Christmas DVD singing Falalalala while I blog, and she doesn't have a bottle or a soother.
There. Now please. Judge me and my horrible parenting ;)
kortney elise xoxo
Thursday, 18 November, 2010
Tuesday, 16 November, 2010
I'll Admit It...
I don't want to admit it because it feels like a failure to me.
I think of the part in the movie the Incredibles where Mr. Incredible and Elastagirl are fighting near the beginning. They're discussing whether or not Dash should be in trouble for putting a tack on the teacher's chair. Mr. Incredible gets mad at his wife asking, "Why can't Dash go out for sports? It's because he'd be amazing." Meanwhile, Elastagirl fights back and tells Mr. Incredible that he knows why they can't do that and says "Stop making this about you. This isn't about you. This is about Dash."
That's kind of what I feel like right now. That I need to remember it's not about me. It's about my baby girl.
My baby girl is a late talker. I hate admitting it. I really do. There are a myriad of reasons why. I feel like I fail as a mom because my baby doesn't talk as much as the other kids mostly. It feels like I should have/could have done something better. Actually, that's mostly why. I feel like it's my fault. I feel like people are judging me or my little girl...and then I want to punch them in the face.
Alexys only has a handful of words - she's 23 months now and as far as the doctor and all the developmental milestones books/sites/sheets she is a bit behind. I hate that. I guess I just want what's best for my baby and when she doesn't "measure up" I feel sad. There have been a lot of tears poured over this.
I've noticed a bit of improvement in the last month or so and the words are really starting to come. Not quite at the rate of some of the other kids her age or younger, but the words she DOES say are clear as a bell. She doesn't make mistakes in her speaking. I am not worried deep down and I know that Alexys is a perfectionist. I worried when she crawled "late" and when she walked "late." A lot of the words she does say are in two or three word sentences - it's like she's skipped the mimicking "one word" phrases most kids go through. I've done all the testing from a friend who's a health nurses, and she's absolutely ahead in fine and gross motor skills, and perfectly average in problem solving and social. Her communication is behind....but not worrisome according to the sheets.
Anyways. I think my biggest thing with this whole "late" talker is that hearing my friends on Facebook talk about their kids talking drives me bonkers. I know, I know...it's stupid. But it's hard not to compare - that's what you do by nature...or at least I do. I'd love to hear from you if your kids were late talkers...
And for the record I don't need or want suggestions of sign language (Alexys is not a mimicker, I tried for months and months, she doesn't care), reading, and other children interaction. We got those :D
kortney elise xoxo
I think of the part in the movie the Incredibles where Mr. Incredible and Elastagirl are fighting near the beginning. They're discussing whether or not Dash should be in trouble for putting a tack on the teacher's chair. Mr. Incredible gets mad at his wife asking, "Why can't Dash go out for sports? It's because he'd be amazing." Meanwhile, Elastagirl fights back and tells Mr. Incredible that he knows why they can't do that and says "Stop making this about you. This isn't about you. This is about Dash."
That's kind of what I feel like right now. That I need to remember it's not about me. It's about my baby girl.
My baby girl is a late talker. I hate admitting it. I really do. There are a myriad of reasons why. I feel like I fail as a mom because my baby doesn't talk as much as the other kids mostly. It feels like I should have/could have done something better. Actually, that's mostly why. I feel like it's my fault. I feel like people are judging me or my little girl...and then I want to punch them in the face.
Alexys only has a handful of words - she's 23 months now and as far as the doctor and all the developmental milestones books/sites/sheets she is a bit behind. I hate that. I guess I just want what's best for my baby and when she doesn't "measure up" I feel sad. There have been a lot of tears poured over this.
I've noticed a bit of improvement in the last month or so and the words are really starting to come. Not quite at the rate of some of the other kids her age or younger, but the words she DOES say are clear as a bell. She doesn't make mistakes in her speaking. I am not worried deep down and I know that Alexys is a perfectionist. I worried when she crawled "late" and when she walked "late." A lot of the words she does say are in two or three word sentences - it's like she's skipped the mimicking "one word" phrases most kids go through. I've done all the testing from a friend who's a health nurses, and she's absolutely ahead in fine and gross motor skills, and perfectly average in problem solving and social. Her communication is behind....but not worrisome according to the sheets.
Anyways. I think my biggest thing with this whole "late" talker is that hearing my friends on Facebook talk about their kids talking drives me bonkers. I know, I know...it's stupid. But it's hard not to compare - that's what you do by nature...or at least I do. I'd love to hear from you if your kids were late talkers...
And for the record I don't need or want suggestions of sign language (Alexys is not a mimicker, I tried for months and months, she doesn't care), reading, and other children interaction. We got those :D
kortney elise xoxo
Tuesday, 9 November, 2010
Because I Hinted...But Never Followed Through...
You still don't get to see them all because some are for Christmas shots, but here are our fabulous family shots we had done a few weeks ago:
There was obviously more, but these are some of my favourites or funny ones. I have some good ones I'm getting printed into wallet size...if you want a Christmas card or her two year pictures printed you better email me your address :)
There was obviously more, but these are some of my favourites or funny ones. I have some good ones I'm getting printed into wallet size...if you want a Christmas card or her two year pictures printed you better email me your address :)
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