Day 7: Someone or Something With the Biggest Impact

Interesting. I just logged in to edit and finish up this post that has literally been sitting here for a month. And it's gone. Guess I'll have to start at square one.

This is one of those posts I have written in a while...but something I think about everyday. I'm not sure why I don't write about it, but it seems that it's a taboo topic in the blogging world - or even in real life. We live in a world that doesn't accept, looks to argue, and hides from offending someone.

But you know me - I don't ever hold back and sometimes get in trouble for being too honest or too open. But that's just me. So here it goes.

The biggest someone or something to have the biggest impact on my life? Jesus Christ.

I beg you not to stop reading. I won't preach, I promise.

Here's the who, what, when, where, why.

I became a Christian at summer camp when I was 12. To be honest, I don't know what it meant. I just remember knowing I needed to. I did my thing and went home.

Jesus has meant different things to me at different times in my life. I think that's safe to say with anything or anyone - people are who and what they need to be in your life as your life progresses. That's just life.

When I was a teenager, I needed (and enjoyed) the "rules" of Christianity. I was a typical teenager and wanted to identify myself with something, someone. I liked having rules and doing what I was told. I read my Bible because you were supposed to. I followed the rules. I went to church. I did my own thing.

As I've grown older, my faith, thoughts, and devotion have changed. I hate the implications and thought-processes that happen when you say "I'm Christian." I hate what "Christians" have made this world into (don't defend, you know what and who I'm talking about in general terms). I hate that the church is seen with hate from outside groups - as unaccepting, as rude, as inclusive. As a teenager I always thought that "Christians" who didn't go to church were not really Christian.

And now, as an adult, I am a Christian who doesn't go to church (for various reasons, but that's another post). But my love for Jesus has grown tenfold. Because it is He who has taught me to accept people as they come into my life, to praise in good and bad, and to be who I need to be as a mom, wife, friend, daughter, sister, etc.

To me, it comes down to love. And that is the love that Jesus has taught me...and not anyone or anything else. I'm intrigued by Jesus' life and his actions as compared to how the church lives today. I compelled to live life just a bit different because of his love...with zest, passion, and desire for all aspects of my life.

As a teenager, I didn't like these verses from the Bible. I thought it was cliche. I thought it was overused. Now I see it's just misread, misused. Perhaps out of context a bit too much - 1 Corinthians 13 from the Message. I won't post it, but I encourage you to read it.

This post didn't turn out just how I want...but this song makes me cry nearly every time I hear it. It sums me and the influence of Jesus in my life perfectly.



kortney elise xoxo

Mish Mash I Was Taking a Bath

...great poetry Kortney. Great (my title, I mean).

I have a lot of blog catching up to do. No seriously - I think I'm stuck on Day 13 of 30 for skating (Favourite Pairs) and I'm on Day 7 of "ME" (which is Most Influential Thing in Life) - they're both started but not finished. Among at least 3 other posts that I start and don't finish.

So instead you get my mish mash of thoughts and partial blog ideas.

Oh, because I don't have the concentrational ability right now to focus to finish those posts. Because I'm really busy, having terrible anxiety, and insomnia (though the sunshine and some melatonin are helping with that latter 2).

• I bought a new book and I can't wait to read it. Except let's face it I don't have time - but I'm going to try really hard to FIND time. June seems to be fairly blank on the calendar. I say that very tentatively. Here's hoping. It's this book: Reshaping It All: Motivation for Physical and Spiritual Fitness. Yes, by DJ Tanner Candace Cameron Bure. I also bought this one: Skinny Bitch. I complain about being fat and hating myself all the time, but don't have the motivation to fix it. I just keep hoping it'll disappear and I'll look 16 again. Apparently that doesn't happen. Ever. So maybe one of those books will motivate me. Cuz apparently nothing else will.
  
• I'm judging at the last competition of the year first competition of the new year (it falls under new rules so take your pick of how to categorize it) this weekend. I'm ALMOST done my Novice promotion. I'll just have a teensy bit left to finish at Summer Skate in August. And I'm starting my Novice dance promotion too. And I'm waiting on one more report for my Junior Synchro promotion. I really enjoy telling you about these things because while you don't care, I do...it's like checking off tests or badges. It makes my A-type personality smile and shine.
  
• Alexys had a REALLY good day today. I needed one of those days - I was really, really starting to get down on myself for being a horrible mother. I felt like a failure. And today it made me realize - no. She's 2. There are a lot of tough days ahead and I can't always feel that way. Even if I'm A-type, mothering is not a badge to check off. Even if other parents make it seem like it is. Alexys today made me feel proud and like I told my mom, "It's much easier to play with her when she acts like this." I think it's a culmination of many things - ditching most of the baby things (all that's left are pull-ups and sippy cups...both of which are next week's projects), sunshine (and therefore more outdoor activities), and more talking. Something is clicking and I'm so glad. Even Lex's gymnastics teacher commented on her good behaviour today. Phew. I have been reading this book (The Happiest Toddler on the Block) for motivation. It is really, really good.
  
• I still haven't told you about my new job. Or Jordon's I don't think. I've had mine since February and Jordon has had his since March. Soon. Maybe ;) We're both happier though and that's the point.
  
• I used to get growing pains when I was younger. Really bad in my legs. I remember going to the doctor for them. I started getting them again recently. I think they're anxiety pains. I think they were back then too. Let's talk about being A-type okay?  They hurt right now.
  
• My roommate from CLBI is coming to stay with me for a night. I seriously cannot even wait. I've missed her and haven't spent serious time with her for a long time - and not one on one time since before Alexys was born at least.
  
• I went to Stars on Ice. In one sentence: Joannie would have been World Champion this year had she competed, I wish Jeff Buttle was straight and my husband, Sasha Cohen really needs to retire especially from shows, Kurt Browning is a truly brilliant entertainer and can do more jumps than SC in his 40s, Miki Ando makes me sleepy, Takahiko Kozuka is going to give PChiddy a run for his money in 2014, and pairs skaters shouldn't be allowed to skate solos because their partner retires (yes Kyoko - you're cute, but not fabulous).  Also (okay that's 2) - I don't like Jamie/David, Tessa/Scott have more chemistry than a science lab (let's cut sexual tension with a knife yes? I love it), and Shawn Sawyer is overrated also (though he's got great moves and ideas - he's coming into his own). I love it. 

Bre and I - Stars on Ice 2011

There's a lot more floating in my head. But I ache all over and need to try and beat this insomnia.

OH. And I need to catch up on Glee.

That's just my own little note.
kortney elise xoxo

Day 6: Favourite Superhero and Why

I'm not going to lie. I don't have a favourite "superhero" per se. Like Batman or Catwoman or something. I just am so not into that. In fact, the Incredibles are about the only "superhero" movie I've ever liked. I think. Something may be escaping me, but that's where I stand at this hour with only half a cup of coffee ingested. So deal with it.

Instead. I'd like to tell you about 2 of my heroes. Yes, 2. One IN my life and one who is famous and technically doesn't even know me.

The first, you can probably guess.

I've written about her only a trillion thousand times :)

Miss Joannie Rochette.

Obvious? Perhaps. So I won't go into TOO much detail. Just highlights, since I talk about her all the freaking time. Even before she was famous and winning World medals :)

• Courageous - What she did at the Olympics took courage - her mom was her biggest fan and it took guts to get out there with the weight of a country, your family, and yourself on your shoulders.
• Beautiful - I'll admit. Joannie isn't a supermodel. But she's REAL and that is what makes her beautiful. She carries herself well and her beauty shines from the inside out. You know those people who get prettier as you learn about them? She's one of them. 
• Determined - What you might not know about Joannie is that she's not a teen phenom. She's 25. Most female skaters peak in their late teens. Joannie is one of the few who has gotten better as she has gotten older. In the Olympic year, she was the only femaile skater NOT to receive an edge call or underrotation (this is bad - it means taking off on the wrong edge or cheating your jump). She is powerful, strong, and graceful. She never gave up, even though she was much older than a lot of girls competing. 

I could probably go on forever. I am plotting a way to meet her next weekend at Stars on Ice. Anyone have any inside connections? :D

The other hero in my life - the one who is actually IN my life - well. You might guess her too.

She's beautiful, even if she doesn't know it. She has the strength of 3 women. Inside and out, she inspires me. She is smart, witty, and cracks me up constantly. She makes me smile when I'm down and encourages me when I'm frustrated. She has great style and is the shopping queen of the Universe (seriously - no one can out shop her!). She is the best to Alexys and spoils her rotten...with love. She taught me how to believe in myself and stay true to who I am no matter what. She gave me confidence and made me who I am today.

I could go on longer than forever. I'd be lost without her.

My mom is really my hero.

Truly.

End cheesefest. I love you mom (and Joannie...you know, in case she stumbles across this blog!).
kortney elise xoxo