falling leaf

Mountain Regionals

2012-01-30T18:07:00.000-08:00

I just spent the last 4 days in Edmonton for Mountain Regionals as a judge for synchro. It was so much fun. I went a night early, spent the evening and most of Friday with Miss Anne McCune (more on her later :D), and then headed to the rink late Friday afternoon. I proceeded to spend the next...really long time...at the rink. I think 12 hours on Saturday and half the day on Sunday. It feels like more than that and I definitely have a rink hangover.

I had promised myself that I could pop and become uncomfortable after Mountains, knowing I'd spend most of the day in the judge's chair there. Don't worry - my body wasted no time. I think I popped overnight and while I'm still recovering from the rink and would have been exhausted regardless of pregnancy status, I'm truly dead to the world today. I'm not working. I'm not doing anything. I'm sort of catching up on laundry. I bought baby soap for my baby stuff today (and was really sad, but Purex doesn't come in HE [weird right?] so I had to buy Ivory - which is fine, but it doesn't smell the same). So that's my goal this week - to bring up and wash baby stuff. Just to be prepared. Because with babies you never know. And with pregnant people, you have to set goals or else nothing gets done.

The weekend was a blast though and it's great sharing and spending time with people who are as crazy obsessed with skating as I am. And who check results of simultaneous competitions (ie: Europeans and American Nationals) like I do. It's rare...but I've found them.

I thought I'd share a picture - mostly because I don't look very pregnant and I don't even look exhausted, and I like the picture...from this weekend. This is during one of the many small crises that were (not) averted throughout the weekend - this one a fire alarm. And yes, I was cold. Brrrrr - Edmonton so cold.

The group that happened to be on the panel when the alarm went off :)

31 weeks tomorrow - update soon :D
kortney elise xoxo

For Fun

2012-01-26T00:34:00.000-08:00

What a great way to prove how old I look - guess that's what kids do to you...I'm totally carrying this one different, hey? And my hair was so great back then...even if it was growing in straight and I didn't realize it. And I had the glow...instead of the look of exhaustion :)

29 and 30 Week Update

2012-01-25T17:18:00.000-08:00

29 weeks and 2 days

30 weeks and 1 day - I think my belly popped out more this week - I've gotten a couple "woah belly" comments - it's hard to say in a picture because I'm wearing black last week and white this week and black is "slimming" :) But my mom said it, so it must be true!!!

How far along: 30 weeks and 1 day - I missed posting this last week...but I'll still include my last weeks' picture :)

Size of baby: At 29 weeks it said about 17 inches...still...the size of a butternut squash! At 30 weeks, about 18 inches and the size of a head of lettuce!

Total weight gain/loss: Up 6 pounds now total. Apparently I gained 2 in the last week...but I totally get it. I've been craving carbs and sugar this past week and eaten a lot more than my entire pregnancy thus far. It's okay. It's healthy. Well, save for the sugar...it hasn't been that bad, but I totally give into the cravings a bit to help ease them!

Maternity clothes: So once you answer this question yes, do I really need to answer it every week?

Movement: It's the kind of movement I love. The kind I giggle at. The kind that makes me thankful I'm pregnant and experiencing this again. The kick you in the side so it kind of hurts, but at the same time is just so sweet and cute. The rolling all over, some sort of crazy random limb movement. I love it. It's a beautiful thing.

Sleep: I'm so tired. Iron is not helping. But I'm sleeping well. We've given up on Alexys and I'm just gonna hope that once baby comes, she'll want her own bed. Otherwise, for now, she's in the middle - I told her it's BYOB and to leave me alone. And clearly that's bring your own blanket. I'm too tired to deal with it and gave up. So apparently we have a family bed...and not by choice. Oh well. Pretty soon she'll be a teenager and hate me. Perhaps I'll climb into HER bed at noon when she won't get out of bed, steal her blankets, and cuddle up :D Oh. But pregnancy. Yeah, I'm sleeping fine and napping on any day I can.

Cravings: Okay, yes. And my husband thinks they're totally gross. I made homemade macaroni and cheese...but I added a ton of Parmesan to it...and because I was craving processed deli meat (don't judge), I added it (it was cooked this way and safe). He said it tasted grainy and like soap. For dinner and lunch yesterday I ate eggs fried over red onion, red peppers, chicken, and mushrooms, and then put salsa on top. I totally craved gummy bears and bought some of the organic, juice ones. So yummy. Mmmm...

Symptoms: They're the good kind of symptoms, honestly. Well, besides the stabby crotch pains and the waddling. But that's not bad at all. I can totally handle it. And yes, I just admitted to stabby crotch pains on my blog. Ha. I can't complain. For now, I'm really enjoying this part of pregnancy except for being so gosh darn tired and the occasional heart burn moment.

Best moment of the week: We moved our bedroom around this weekend so that we can bring up the playpen (we use the top bassinet part for babe) and put it in our room. I'm going away tomorrow for 4 days to Edmonton for skating and I had promised myself always that it was after Mountains that I could start washing and prepping stuff. And it's here! I can't wait to wash everything and set it all up :)

So Many Thoughts

2012-01-22T00:59:00.000-08:00

When wondering thoughts are in my head, I don't sleep well. Even if they're strange, unrelated, not that important thoughts...and so in turn I choose to share them on my blog. Sucks to be you? There may or may not be a logical turning point to this entry.

Alexys must have been going through growth spurt last week. She ate and ate and slept and slept. And now her pants are too short. Interesting that while I expect that kind of behaviour in a baby, I didn't with a toddler...and I found myself frustrated and angry and impatient. Another lesson learned in motherhood. The lessons really never end. She didn't nap today and ate next to nothing. And she was an angel. She went to her first real birthday party for a little girl at school and I fully expected meltdown time when it was time to stop playing to eat dinner. And then I expected a meltdown when the little girl opened her presents instead of Alexys getting to. I expected a meltdown when the little girl got to blow out the candles.

Instead Alexys participated, listened, and didn't break down at all. No tears. A success in my mind.

Alexys keeps blowing my mind - with the person she is becoming and how much she knows. They are doing name and number recognition this month at preschool. When they come in for the day, we're supposed to accompany them and they're supposed to find their "nametag" to hang on the wall. All I said the first day was "Alexys, where's your name - it starts with an A." And she found it first time. And then the second day I said, "Alexys, find your name." And she did. Not a guess, not just a random point - but an actual, yep, that's my name, decision without trouble. I don't think I taught this to her. It wasn't intentional if I did.

She also has a puzzle that is the alphabet. Like each letter or 2 letters are a piece. Her and her friend were playing the other day and he was just jamming pieces in trying to make them fit. Alexys seriously rolled her eyes, took the piece, said "It's an L" and put it promptly into the spot. I haven't really spent that much time teaching her those things - we've watching YouTube videos with the alphabet on them. I take it she learns from there. I tested her the other day and I'd say she knows 20 of 26 letters to recognition...I was so worried she was behind because her speech was so different than the other kids - and yet, she seems quite ahead of at least half her class at school...and she's just 3 (versus a lot 3, 3.5, or almost 4). I'm very proud of how much she retains and knows.

And I'm not bragging...because I don't exactly remember teaching her. Or maybe I did, but it wasn't intentional :D Again, thanks YouTube and Wind and Tide *grins*

The attitude Alexys has developed lately is something else - she is SO going to be the greatest 22 year old I've ever met. Or maybe even before that. If we don't kill each other. She's me all over again...except better. She's persistent, determined, and demanding. She does not give up...as you might have guessed from my drag her across the mall story. She knows what she wants and how to get it. There is foot stomping and "I don't cares" that fly in abundance. She's slammed a few doors and she will throw a fit like no other to get what she wants. Way beyond her friends. She has no embarrassment factor. It's a good thing I'm just as determined. And yet, at the same time, she is very well behaved most of the time - especially in public (save for our mall growth spurt day) and for others. I get compliments on her behaviour all the time...which I promptly laugh at, but then am relieved that she IS retaining the way of how she is being raised. It's a sigh of relief for sure. While I make her out to be this crazy, bratty kid sometimes - she's so not...I just feel it necessary to get those moments off my chest the most.

Indeed. She is observant. She takes everything in. Constantly (as apparently demonstrated by her knowledge of things I haven't taught her). She doesn't forget a thing. You can't trick her or tell her later. She doesn't fall for that. She picks up on people's lies. She is always quiet at first - when she is around new people or a new environment. She takes it all in before she roams or attacks. She becomes familiar. I know that's normal, but it's different than when I watch the other kids. She is so sweet hearted...she truly cares if you're alright and if you're okay. She rubs my back when I puke (yes it happens still once a week or so). She's started to rub my belly, kiss it, and tell me she'll be a big sister. She thinks it's a girl for the record. She's moved on that it's not Nemo...which is what I got at first. Her imagination is brilliant - the conversations and storylines she creates for her princess dollies are unbelievable. She is coordinated and beautiful.

I love her.

Well, this has turned into an Alexys update, but she's one great kid and I felt that I should reflect on that after a good day. A day with moments of peace, smartness, and cuddles. Very little bad or anything like that. I just want to cuddle her and love on her always. And I will...but this is such a precious age that is sometimes overwhelmed by us forgetting 3 isn't very old - we expect them to act older than they are and get mad when they fail. I don't like that and I try to not act that way...but I'm only human.

Anyways. Blabbering now. Much to do tomorrow. MUCH to do tomorrow. Lots of work, a blog project (not on this one - a paid project for a company on a private blog), and family dinner. I leave for Edmonton on Thursday for 4 days to judge synchro regionals. I will see Anne. That is a different blog though.

Point is. It's bed time.
kortney elise xoxo

Rough Day

2012-01-17T21:47:00.000-08:00

Today was a rough day and I'm exhausted mentally...even more than physically.
It had good points and I was proud of my own patience level with Alexys - but then I got thinking. I already posted this to my Facebook, but thought I'd post here too to get more mommy advice.

Here's my Facebook status - anyone have any input?

So on reflecting on today I have to wonder - do any of you mama's see a correlation between growth spurts and temper tantrums? Alexys was awful today, right from the get go - and yesterday wasn't much peachier. I was going to blame being pregnant and my own lack of patience, but when I thought about how much food she ate today, and the 2.5 hour naps she took today and yesterday...I wondered. Anyone else ever notice a correlation?

And then I referenced this article:
http://blogs.babiesonline.com/toddlers/toddlers-and-growth-spurts/

Anyone else ever notice a link between the two?

kortney elise xoxo

Train of Thought

2012-01-17T14:45:00.000-08:00

I'm 29 weeks today. Update soonish.

The snow is falling again. Little pretty flakes, but that means they're probably big, mean flakes in Aldergrove where my daughter's skating lesson is at 4:30. I'm thinking we're not going. I don't do well in the snow and almost got stuck in the preschool parking lot. I did take her to school and was on time for both drop off and pickup.

I'm mad she is missing her lessons again today, but I'm really tired today. I'm not sure why. I guess this means I'll get a nap too (as opposed to Alexys only in the car).

I just about beat my child in public today. Three is a tough age and the word no is a tough word for that age to handle. I literally picked her up and waddled to the car with her screaming at the top of her lungs. I must have looked especially pathetic when 3 moms said on the way to the car "been there" sympathetically. Normally I feel like you get judging eyes...I must have been especially pathetic looking. But I stood my ground and my no. Even if I almost didn't. And my arms hurt from carrying said 3 year old across the parking lot 7 months pregnant. And now I'm really grumpy.

Did I mention I'm a tired, old, grump? Because I am.

Stupid snow.
kortney elise xoxo

We Made the Best of It...

2012-01-16T17:25:00.000-08:00

28 Weeks

2012-01-14T10:22:00.000-08:00

28 weeks and 3 days in the picture :)

How far along: 28 weeks and 4 days

Size of baby: About 17 inches - a small cabbage.

Total weight gain/loss: I'm actually still up only 4 pounds from my starting weight :P

Maternity clothes: So once you answer this question yes, do I really need to answer it every week?

Movement: So midwife confirmed that babe is head down at this point and the "limb" sticking up in my belly button is actually baby bum, shoulder, or back, depending on the moment...and it hurts LOL. I'm glad babe is head down though - hopefully it'll stay that way. The movement is the peaceful, usually more comfortable movement now. It definitely moves a lot, but it's not annoying and probably on par with Alexys. It moved more, stronger, and sooner...but now they're about the same from what I remember. The midwife also showed me how to feel baby and where it is...and it hasn't moved out of its position since my appointment on Tuesday. It's very cool feeling it. Even if it does have a knobby butt.

Sleep: I'm not going to lie. I don't think I sleep like a normal pregnant person. I remember Alexys being SO much harder to sleep with - always having to pee and being uncomfortable. Yesterday...I had a 1-hour nap while Alexys nap. And then I went to bed at 11 and slept until 7:30 this morning when Lex got up - I got up once to check the clock and go pee at 4. I get tired easier, but I really am not as incredibly tired as I was with Alexys. Worn down? Yes. Tired? Not exhausted. I also have been taking iron pills for 4 days now and have actually noticed a difference, I'm pretty sure. Here's hoping it continues.

Cravings: Ummmm...cookie dough yesterday. So I made it. And I ate it for dinner. Don't judge. I know it's bad...but I totally enjoyed every minute of it. And then I ate quiche to counter the effects of cookie dough :D Or because I felt guilty LOL. I've totally just wanted fruits and veggies though. Pretty much anything else is unappealing. I eat a lot of oranges and grapefruit...and grapes and strawberries. Yum.

Symptoms: Waddling. Oh man...the waddling. You know that fluid that is released into your joints to help you become more "loose" during labour (though not necessarily more flexible as some interpret) - well it's been released lol. I feel like my legs have worked out for a week and I can't help but waddle. It takes some SERIOUS concentration to not waddle...and I feel like such a dork doing it because I'm totally not even that big like I should be waddling. But I can't help it. I'm actually feeling very decent right now and really can't complaint about much. Just don't laugh when I waddle.

Best moment of the week: I love seeing my midwife - and I had my favourite one too. She's great. My appointment was actually an hour long by the time we finished talking and going over things. She's so encouraging and thorough. Baby's heartbeat was 150 (if you're keeping track) and head down. My blood pressure hasn't hit 100 once through this pregnancy...always been 90/50 or so. Nice and low lol....or perhaps why I have so many freaking dizzy spells. Oh well - was like that with Lex too. Anyways. I love seeing midwives and totally regret not having them last time too. I've also started reading birthing books and thinking about labour/delivery...and I'm SO excited. I know. I'm such a weirdo but the rush of labour is like the adrenaline rush that you miss out on all your life. I love it and can't wait.

Oh...and I made a baby pool. There's a link on the side, but feel free to enter. You don't win anything, but I think it's fun :) Clicky here.

Random Thoughts

2012-01-12T22:22:00.001-08:00

It's been a funny week this week. Last week was the first week back after Christmas, but Alexys was sick and missed a day of school and both days of skating...so it almost feels like this week is the first week back. My body definitely feels as such...I'm so tired! Let's catch up on a couple things all in one post!

First, competition on the weekend went great...I didn't even get "rink face" - and I was only a little delirious and glossy eyed by the end ;) I truly had a blast. My next competition is the last weekend in January...it's Mountain Regions and as a judge I had to be invited, as it was out of province...and I was :) I'm excited - it's my first real out of province invitation! It's in Edmonton and I'm flying out to spend an extra night with Anne before the competition gets underway!

Next...I had a midwife appointment this week that went really well - I'm 28 weeks now (post coming soon!). I'll see the midwife again at 32 weeks, then 34 and 36...and then weekly until baby comes. It's hard to believe babe will be here so soon. I have an ultrasound at 30 weeks to check on a fibroid, but I always like the extra reassurance anyways! I did also find out my recent bloodwork showed anemia so I started iron pills a couple days ago...I'm hoping that will help shake the run down feeling even a bit!

This week has been challenging because Jord is on evenings this week and next - it makes work hard as I truly am alone until about 10 minutes before Lex's bedtime (about 930) and I'm so exhausted by the time I sit down to work. Last night was his only night he was supposed to be off normal hours and he worked 3 hours of OT! While I feel bad for him and appreciate his hard work, I'm still grumpy and 7 months preggo. Anyways. I'm going to my mom's house tomorrow to work there during the day to make up for lost time during my evenings this week.

What else? Oh I've been bad at blogging these past few weeks because I'm doing a special blogging project through a research compant (privately) and so have been preoccupied with those posts...it's a paid endeavor and I'm enjoying it.

I'm sure originally I had more to share, but quite frankly, I forget! So that's all for now...28 week baby update soon (I was 28 weeks Tuesday!).

kortney elise xoxo

It's Here :D

2012-01-06T22:41:00.001-08:00

Synchro competition season that is!

I have loved competitions since my very first one. It was Jingleblades and I came 8th. I was mad that I didn't hear my music and started late. Ever since? True love.

I've posted this before, but unless you personally have a passion in your soul for something, you will never, ever understanding my love for skating. And I don't mean a person. That's different. I think that as a parent one of my biggest wishes for Alexys is that she becomes passionate about something. Chances are good it won't be skating and that's fine...I want her to fall in love with something and it just be part of her.

I don't think there's denying I love skating. Borderline obsessed, it's true. Perhaps it's the zamboni fumes, but it's in you forever once it's there.

We remember when I retired from skating right? I had a mini personal comeback and then retired again (I'm sure 1 of many times *grins*). Well, still retired (and being pregnant acts as a good reason to be), but that passion never died. I just found something else to be as passionate about...judging skating :)

This post comes on the eve of the first synchro competition of the year. I still have the exact same excitement I did a really long time ago (hmmm...18 years ago, yish). No really. I have butterflies in my tummy and so much excitement. I know I've judged a bit this year already, but there's always going to be a special spot for synchro. It's where I'm safest in my fishbowl.

I was so excited for tomorrow that I got everything done today. Well...and my mom helped clean my bathroom and kitchen - that helped. I typed a ton today. Way more than normal. I just have one load of laundry to put away before bed...and it's still early for me! I purposely didn't nap (nor did I let Lex nap - experiment...we'll see at about 2 am!). Hopefully I'll be tired enough to sleep shortly. The dishes are already done and the toys are put away (a la the chore chart...a few more trial days and I'll post...! I think success has been found!). There's no anxiety here tonight...just bouncing off the walls excitement.

This post has no purpose except to share my excitement with you and serves as entertainment while I stand in the shower (does anyone else shower twice a day? My first is my real shower and the 2nd I just let the water run over my back and shoulders).

So I'm going to try and sleep now. Actually I'm going to have hot water and lemon, read some rules, and put the laundry away. And then I'll triple check my binders, pens, papers, clothes, blankets, shoes, and all I'm taking with.

I'll set my alarm for bright and early and await the Starbucks drive-thru in the morning. I know I'll dream of skating. And it'll be all over and I'll have a rink face and be exhausted in no time.

kortney elise xoxo

Anxiety...

2012-01-06T00:39:00.001-08:00

One of the things that causes me anxiety is a messy house.

This is a recent discovery.

Because...ask my mom...I didn't use to be that way.

I don't really know when its come on, but I have definitely narrowed it down to a messy house makes my type A flare like no other.

Now. I'm not a clean freak. If my house is dirty, well - it doesn't bother me. It's the mess of toys and stuff I can't stand. I take this too as a sign that our place is small and learning contentment in it takes time. I'm getting there, I'm just putting 2 and 2 together here and sharing...mostly for my own thought processing.

I find blogging therapeutic. Truly. I think I sort myself out best in writing and this is my outlet to work through things I need to. It's a place where I can put my feelings down. I could do it privately, I suppose, but somehow knowing someone's reading...that eases my mind too. I'm not sure that makes sense...but it does to me. And knowing people tell me in person that my honesty and bluntness has helped them out...even privately. Well, for that I'm glad too.

Anyways. End tangent.

Messy house = Anxiety.

So go clean it? Well duh...except I'm too tired. It's lose-lose essentially. I want to be showering and relaxing right now (actually I am...I blog in the shower remember - more therapy). I don't want to clean. But at exactly the same time, I'm nearly tight-chested over the toys on my floor. The laundry in the dryer. The dishes on the counter.

Someone told me yesterday I'll be playing catch up for the rest of my life. Enjoy the rest (we slept till 11 am - oops!). And that has resonated well with me. I liked that. I needed to hear that. I know people who need to hear that.

I also had someone tell me yesterday that I do it all...constantly. And in the same day, I said no to someone asking for something to volunteer for. It was liberating - freeing even.

This is the most sporadic post and it's only slightly lightening the tight chest...I know I'll have to get out of the shower and clean up before bed.

I already have pregnancy insomnia. I don't need to add anxiety insomnia to it too.

Jordon is off tomorrow. For whatever reason, that helps...even if it's not always physical help, the distraction helps.

I'm going to add a list - sorry. I think it will lessen the chest tightening.

-Make bank appt for Mon or Tues tomorrow.

-Laundry by tomorrow night and put away.

-Competition aaaaaall day Saturday - good thing I'm already prepped (you almost got this post tonight).

-Finish weekly minutes for work...a stretch but doable. Sunday can be less stressful this way and only bonus audio :)

-Ask J to figure out the feeder part of the scanner so I can scan the rest of the promotion scattered across my table. Then I can chuck papers and it'll be killing 2 birds with 1 stone.

-Clean bathroom.

-Go to Ikea Monday or Tuesday.

-Also rearrange room and order bedding.

Okay. So it's not that bad. It feels more in my head. This is good...now perhaps I can settle. Today I got done a 25 minute report of outside dictation I took in, 3o minutes of regular work, the bank, eyebrows waxed, car cleaned (needs a vacuum and wash), school registration at the School Board (I was waitlisting Alexys...also another post), Starbucks, made Lex a "chore" chart (another post), caught up on emails and bills, took a nap (see - rest!), and made dinner. Oh and got my blood work done (yeah for eHealth and online results...boo to anemia).

Okay. I feel marginally better.

End tangents. And shower.

kortney elise xoxo

27 Weeks

2012-01-05T17:47:00.000-08:00

27 weeks and 1 day

How far along: 27 weeks and 2 days (I can't believe we're in 3rd trimester territory already...some people say 27 weeks, others say 28 weeks...nevertheless - crazy!)

Size of baby: About 16 inches - a head of cauliflower!

Total weight gain/loss: I've gained 4 pounds total from my starting weight (after the drop/gain part). I figure at a pound a week which is healthy and normal from this point on that will only put me at 17 pounds from my starting weight and that makes me very happy. Remember....I'm 10 pounds heavier to start, at least, than I was with Alexys...and I never lost those last 10 pounds from Alexys :)

Maternity clothes: So once you answer this question yes, do I really need to answer it every week?

Movement: It's funny how with baby 2 I'll sit and think...hmmmm - baby hasn't really kicked much and I have to stop and feel it...realizing I'd felt it all day. I just don't have time to sit and revel in its magic as much as with Alexys. S/he kicks all day long, but some days I forget to feel it and have to concentrate on it. Also - it seems to have a limb or bum (I really can't tell which, though I'm thinking limb at this point - foot perhaps?!) stuck right under/kind in my belly button. It's *ALWAYS* there and it hurts. It's actually caused a stretch mark just in that one spot from pushing out so often. It's kinda gross.

Sleep: Well...last night I went to bed before midnight and me and Lex slept till 11 am! We were both sick yesterday though and so apparently totally needed a long sleep LOL! Other than that I can't complain other than Alexys seemingly deciding to crawl into our bed every night. That is stopping Thursday night though...Jord has a 5-day weekend and I'll be walking her back to bed over and over until she stays put. This is backtracking for her, but we've been giving in because she screams so loud about getting out of our bed during the night and I don't like to wreck Jord's sleep when he works. He's not so good on little sleep. Plus if he's home all weekend I can get a nap if I need to. But no pregnancy related sleep problems LOL!

Cravings: I craved apple cranberry muffins yesterday so I made them...even while barely functioning sick LOL. And they're SO yummy!

Symptoms: Besides the real apparent lack of immune system and always being sick...nothing really new. I'm debating if yesterday's sickness is indigestion, baby blocking my intestine, or the flu. I puked all day because nothing would go down - not even water. It felt like the food sat at the top of where my belly is. Kinda weird. I've never had indigestion/heart burn, but from what I read that's higher up in your heart area. But that was yesterday. Hopefully baby moved. I tried every labour position I could think of to try and MOVE baby and get the food through lol. Hopefully its moved.

Best moment of the week: Not going to lie. Sleeping until 11 today was a godsend and so lovely. Even when Jord is home and I get to sleep in, I can still hear Alexys and him usually and I just don't really sleep. But since Jord was gone and Lex was sleeping too...it was just so lovely!

Happy New Year

2012-01-02T10:03:00.000-08:00

I generally hate New Years. I've never really partied ever on NYE because I think it's overrated. Yes, it's a new year, but yesterday was a new day. Why shouldn't we celebrate everyday with such vigor?

Anyways. I did spend the evening with my friend (from grade 2!) and my hubs joined us playing board games and eating. I made it past midnight and Alexys went to bed at 930ish, like normal. She's just started to grasp the concept of tomorrow versus today so why confuse her with years? ;)

I do like to use this time to reflect on my last year, though, simply for memory and record keeping purposes. I like to reflect on the next year too and while I don't like resolutions, I do focus on goals.

So 2011?
-Actually a pretty big year of change in some ways for our family. I started off the year at my old company and big promotions. Jordon was at his old company. We were actually making good money. We decided that as much as we like current money we need to focus on family and the long-term, rather than what was good for us at that very moment. So that resulted in:

Jordon got a new job at Telus. He's been there a year in March and while there are definitely good days and bad days, I think overall it was the right move. There's a future and a pension and all that grown up stuff. There's places to move up to in the company and he's quite a bit younger than most people he works with (good on multiple levels I think). He's based in Abbotsford.
I got a bunch of huge promotions with my old company and was working like mad. Alexys was being ignored during the day in favour of work. Didn't like it. Completely quit to start over and now work with a company called Accentus, and essentially I work for the Fraser Health Authority through them. There's a multitude of work, bonuses, etc. It's a good company. I can truly set my own hours, work after Alexys is in bed OR during the day if I have time, etc. It's a good place to go forward and grow with in the future.

-So those were our big 2011 changes mostly. We're happy with our decisions even if the pay cut has taken a while to adjust to. We're getting there and getting back on track though. What else?

Alexys started "real life" in September as we like to call it. She started preschool, skating, and ballet. She was put on a little schedule and is absolutely thriving on it. It was an adjustment for us too actually - to get up and out the door before 9 a.m. sometimes, etc. We're very glad with our choices here though.
I really can't remember at this point (I'm finishing this before I've had coffee...perhaps a dumb choice)...if anything else changed in 2011. Nothing major I don't think. It was just life as normal with a few adjustments really.

So now? 2012. I hate resolutions, but I do like to look forward. I am a planner and constantly make short and long term goals and achieve them. So...barring any major lottery wins *grins* our 2012 looks like this (totally random in order, just as they pop up in my head):

I guess the most obvious 2012 thing is that baby will be here in just 13 short weeks (I'm 27 weeks today) - give or take a couple. I told everyone my New Year's resolution is to have a baby *grinning more* - I'd say it's a good resolution I can keep at this point. I guess my short-term goal with this is to finish organizing the house and preparing for baby. I've been quite the nester lately and if I let it continue, I'll be done in no time. Now...just to get hubby to bring down these bins from upstairs (Christmas stuff) to put into storage.
Alexys will start 3-day a week preschool in September in the 4-year-old class, still at the same school she's at...regardless of location of US - she'll be there because I love, love, love her teachers, she's comfortable, and she's made some friends I'd like her to keep. She'll still do skating and ballet...and I think that's all for now.
We'd like to move, truly. I don't know if it will happen in 2012. I really, really want it to happen, but I just don't know if it's feasible. If we do move in 2012 and buy a bigger place, it will take a lot of hard work and moving mountains. We hoped to move in the spring, but if it happens now I think it will have to be in the latter half of the year. Which is fine. We'll have to see...and basically that's all we can do. Of course, that would also mean selling this place and moving would obviously be dependent on that.
We're going to pay off the rest of our loans/debt. There's not huge impending debt that's going to land us in financial crisis, but we're going to the bank this week and getting it sorted out and paid off quickly this way. The end. It's over :) This is actually our 1st priority in terms of moving, etc., this year. Neither of us can stop thinking about it. We paid off 2 loans (car and dentist) in 2011...2012 will bring more paying off. Wahoo.
We're going to continue going to church and me to Bible study. This is something I need in my life and has lacked for far too long. It's important to us that Alexys is raised in a church. We've been going the past few months on and off and we're going to work on more consistency of it. I don't know that we've found our home church, but we're going to one now and it's good for now.
Judging: There's actually not a lot to say here, because after April judging will probably slow down a bit for baby. I'm good with it. I need to send in my last promotion (Novice singles if you're keeping track) ASAP...it's finished - I just have to scan and organize it all. I may apply for my Senior Synchro promotion come fall as well, but that will take some organization with our synchro rep, etc. I'm not sure it's feasible. If not, then it will have to wait a couple years. After that, I have my Senior Singles promotion (assuming I get my Novice *grinning*), but not really working on that at all. I probably won't do many competitions at first after babe comes, but may do a couple test days as those are generally just an hour or 2 :)

Well - that's my 2012. I think anyways. Who knows right? You can plan and goal-set as much as you like, but if you're not flexible, then life brings you shocking news too often :) So off we go. Life continues and while we aim for the best, we prepare for the worst (that's how my mind works anyways).

Hope you had a safe happy New Year's Eve and that your 2012 brings much joy. I saw a lot of sadness experienced in 2011 by close friends and I hope that this year brings only the best xoxo

kortney elise xoxo

26 Weeks

2012-01-01T11:39:00.000-08:00

26 weeks and 4 days (New Year's Eve)

How far along: 26 weeks and 5 days

Size of baby: About 14.5 inches - and the length of a cucumber!!!

Total weight gain/loss: Truly? I haven't weighed myself since Christmas. And I'm not going to until my midwife appointment. LOL :)

Maternity clothes: So once you answer this question yes, do I really need to answer it every week?

Movement: The movement is definitely more dulled now than it was early on. It's not lessened by any means, but definitely more bearable and enjoyable than it was to start. They're like stronger punches, but like with a bigger hand/foot - which makes sense. I don't know. It just feels different and not as pokey.

Sleep: I've been sick and it was Christmas week. I just wanted to sleep constantly and didn't have time. And then today when I had time to nap, I just couldn't. I couldn't slow my brain down enough. I did take it easy today though and that made the sickness start to clear up. I'm going to bed early tonight!

Cravings: I totally am craving fruit and healthy food - I'll blame that on Christmas. I bought grapes, strawberries, grapefruit, and oranges today. Yum.

Symptoms: Not much is different really - the same old. Once or twice a week puking, sore back, tired...you know. The usual. Once this sinus infection goes away, I'm hoping for the best.

Best moment of the week: I can tell you I have to go for blood work in the next 2 weeks and I'm dreading that - that's the worst moment. The best? That Christmas is all done with and I can start reorganizing. I'm nesting like CRAZY which I never really did with Alexys. OCD, type-A tendencies, anxiety, and nesting are not a good combination. But let me tell you, my house is super organized. If I had a billion dollars, I think my whole house would just be full of bins to organize stuff into :) I had a pretty good new years too with my friend Leah and the hubs...we played board games, Lex went to bed, and we followed shortly after midnight :)

Braxton Hicks...

2011-12-29T22:55:00.000-08:00

Rough day today - started pulling stuff out to put away Christmas stuff and start cleaning up and reorganizing stuff for babe (13 weeks and 5 days until my guess date!). We're just getting some extra Ikea shelves, moving our room around, etc....but I like to get a head start on it since life is so busy and January is (sigh) nuts. You know me - type A and OCD...so I want all the Christmas stuff long gone so that I can set up for babe. I know it's too early to wash things, but the thought has most certainly crossed my mind!!!

Anyways. I lifted nothing heavy and just brought the bins up from downstairs...but apparently babe didn't like that idea. I started getting really bad braxton hicks, combined with...flu-like symptoms...we'll just keep it PG on here - anyways. Called the midwife and since I was at risk of getting dehydrated and the BH were getting pretty terrible, I was told to try and lie down for the rest of the day. Right.

But I did. Forceful rest is hard, especially when there's a 3 year old to chase after and care for. Bed rest would have been much appreciated the first time round when I could truly lie there ;) I'm feeling mostly better now and am going to attempt to head to bed pretty quick.

But since I didn't accomplish what I wanted to today - I feel the need to make a list of things I need to get done before Tuesday :) Slowly...I promise.

Christmas stuff away - the village is down and put away, the stickers are put away and the glass cleaned (actually Alexys fully did that for me), and the ornaments are all down and put away. The tree is disassembled, but not smushed down how the leaves need to be. Jordon will put this all downstairs for me tomorrow after work - that's the hope anyways!
Work; I'm actually doing well this week, but now I've skipped today...so hopefully I'll catch up. Jord is off Saturday/Sunday so that helps. Trying to get a nice big paycheque these next few times to make some bigger payments on some things.
Call bank and make appointment for new year - we've decided to get a consolidated loan and pay the rest of our debt off even sooner than planned. We're cancelling all our credit cards and just taking out one no-fee "emergency/gas" credit card. We're kinda spread between 3 banks right now and that is stressing me out. So yes. Call the bank.
Vacuum the main area (a given perhaps because I took the tree down LOL). Move play kitchen to where I want it and vacuum out where Ikea shelves will go.
Get Jord to rearrange our bedroom so I can set up where the playpen will go and I can hang all the pretty pictures on our walls. Need to find bedding online to order too. It will make me very happy to have my new room all set up pretty :)

And I think that's it. Not too much, just enough to make me feel organized and clean and prepared. Like I said January is busier than I would have liked.

I have a dentist appointment next week, a synchro competition next weekend (don't worry, we sit allllll day :D), a synchro get together I'm somehow planning, and of course school, dance, and skating.

Oh well - Alexys does much better on a busy routine I've learned...and I think I do too. She's been a grump and totally off schedule the past 2 weeks. Too much stimulation and nothing and randomness. Neither of us like it.

Alright. Off to bed. For more rest :)
kortney elise xoxo

25 Weeks

2011-12-25T10:45:00.000-08:00

In this picture I was 25 weeks and 1 day!

How far along: 25 weeks and 1 day (when I wrote this...I'm posting it at 25 weeks and 5 days, oops...thought I'd better quickly post it so I don't forget - also took a picture at 25 weeks and 1 day, but haven't uploaded it yet either - what a busy week!).

Size of baby: A bigger eggplant? 9.2 inches.

Total weight gain/loss: Up 2 pounds total now (well from my starting weight...I dropped remember? I just like to say 2 pounds, sounds better to me :D).

Maternity clothes: So once you answer this question yes, do I really need to answer it every week?

Movement: Pretty sure it somersaulted and dive-bombed into my pelvic floor last night so that it's head down. I can't confirm, but it definitely did a somersault. The movements have also felt quite a bit different today and I can feel them up higher. I'm thinking it's been hanging out below my placenta and now it's kicking into my placenta and is a bit more dulled.

Sleep: Oh ugh. This is the part of pregnancy I dread. Where you body prepares you for a newborn. Also Alexys has decided to go through a sleep regression where she insists on being in my bed. But she's a bed hog so I leave and go in hers. Or on the couch. Either or makes for a rougher night. It has nothing to do with me physically. Just how it goes 'round this time.

Cravings: Nope. Not really. I've been eating a lot of frozen cranberries...but that's because they're in season. I have 5 bags in my freezer. I also really wanted to try this Hawaiian BBQ sauce from Target I saw on Pinterest that looked delicious. It was disgusting. How disappointing.

Symptoms: I'm not feeling good while I'm typing this. Not even a little bit good. So I probably shouldn't type anything, but I will. It's my blog and I'll whine if I want. I woke up with a sore throat, cold, and sore back and hips and shoulders from a bad sleep. Plus my eyes are all burning. And I'm grumpy and tired. Really tired. And I'm big and waddly. Hmph.

Best moment of the week: I changed this one today (at 25 weeks and 5 days) - of course it was Christmas morning with my family today :) So strange that next year I'll have an 8-month old to share in our Christmas morning with too. Bub was kicking away as Alexys opened presents this morning. Can't wait till you're here, little one xoxo

Struggles

2011-12-19T00:26:00.000-08:00

There have been some struggles lately, amidst the blessings (of course - when isn't there?).

One I'm leaving to share - I've had a post pending for a bit now, but it's a rambling of thoughts, ideas, etc. I'm going to wait until after Alexys' doctor's appointment tomorrow to share that one - it's nothing intense or scary, just something we're dealing with...something I'm having a hard time dealing with.

I've also noticed anxiety creeping back a little lately - it's been fairly controlled the last few months and I've coped quite well. I'm hoping this 2 week break of nothing-ness will help get things under control, but I know there are a few things that are contributing to it.

I really like my job, you see, and I constantly struggle between wanting to work more and doing well, with just wanting to be with Alexys all day. I guess that's fair and I'd bet most moms struggle between this...except it's not really a struggle to me. I don't want to be both. I don't want a career and to stay home. I want one or the other. And it's causing anxiety.

Me not working isn't an option for us so I chose something that I could do from home to support us. It pays well - when I can dedicate time to my job. I'm SO glad that I can be home with Alexys during the day.

But here's the problem...being a work at home mom is not being a stay at home mom. Especially while pregnant. Because not only do I do everything a stay at home mom does (or working moms do on weekends), but then I have to go to work at night instead of relaxing.

That's causing anxiety.

Now, I'm not undercutting or pretending I have it harder.

I'm just saying what's causing anxiety.

When stay at home moms put their kids to bed at night, they watch TV or catch up on laundry or what not. When working moms put their kids to bed at night, they watch TV or catch up on laundry or what not. I don't have time for those things.

It's causing anxiety.

I am struggling with how to find a balance between being a mom, fitting in everything, and working. It's especially hard while pregnant, because while I used to be able to work late into the night, I don't have the mental capacity (even if I have the insomnia) to work much past 10:30 anymore. Jordon doesn't get home until 7 most nights and he works long stretches that make life tough for me.

I'm mostly just whining and then maybe looking for advice.

How do I find balance? I'm debating finding a daycare for Alexys once a week so that I can work and have an evening a week to myself after she's in bed. I feel like it's selfish, but also that in those 8 hours she's having fun in daycare, I could accomplish more work than I normally do all week. 8 hours of working straight would be glorious. I also don't want to pay for daycare and I'd feel so deeply hypocritical of myself because I believe so deeply in staying home with my babies.

I know this is short term. In just over 5 years, both my babies (eek!) will be in school full time and I will work in the day and life will return with some form of normalcy.

But for the next 5 years I don't want to feel this way.

End rant.

Blessed

2011-12-18T11:41:00.001-08:00

Yesterday I was blessed.

I am blessed everyday actually - but yesterday I really felt it. Maybe God knew I needed some building up. Maybe it was my turn to get when the meter had run out. Maybe it's because I wasn't busy and had time to look for the blessings in the little things.

Maybe it actually started Friday.

I cancelled our picture plans Friday. Alexys was exhausted and me too. We stayed home, organized the house, and took some time out. I still had a test day to judge so off I went while Lex spent time with my brother.

A coach came and thanked me at test day - for being fair, honest, and providing real useful feedback to the skaters. I'm not sure you know this, but often being a judge is thankless - accused of cheating or sneered at or whatever. It was nice to just be thanked.

Saturday Jord worked and so Lex and I stayed home. I went grocery shopping once Jord got home. I was dreading the busyness of shopping the Saturday before Christmas Eve, but it had to be done.

Somehow I managed to go during the Canucks game. It wasn't intentional, but it was great. I could have parked 2 spots from the door - but didn't since I am able to walk.

I got a "free" buggy. And gave it to someone else after (I didn't take their loonie).

My 1-hr photos took 4 minutes :D

I got stocking stuffers for Lex on sale - teeny My Little Ponies!

I did pick the long line because of the lack of common sense of people, but got a sweet, quick cashier. I smiled at her.

We didn't go to a Christmas party we were supposed to. Alexys was irritable and had a bit of a fever. Jord was grumpy. We stayed home and spent time as a family.

Lex slept until after 8 this morning.

A friend offered to bring me milk in the afternoon when I didn't have any and didn't want to drag Lex out.

I got a $200 referral cheque from my MT school, I didn't even know was on the way...it even qualified under their bonus program of $100/person - normally it was only $50/person, but it happened at just the right time that it qualifed!

We didn't have juice either (hence the shopping) - so Dad came and brought us some.

I got a sweet text message from a friend that further made me feel appreciated and loved.

Taking time to notice the little blessings really fills you up.

Thanks for yesterday Jesus...and sorry we forgot today is Sunday and got up too late for church ;)

kortney elise xoxo

24 Weeks

2011-12-17T08:48:00.000-08:00

Photo taken at exactly 24 weeks :)

How far along: 24 weeks and 4 days

Size of baby: 9 inches (head to rump - stretched out it's longer) - size of an eggplant.

Total weight gain/loss: I'm now officially at my starting weight (after all the weight loss). I'd be more than thrilled if I only gained a pound a week for the next 16 weeks or so :D

Maternity clothes: Yep...although I am still in my pre-maternity jeans with a belly band mostly comfortably. And I can still do them up because I accidentally did the other night. It's not comfortable, but I can do it :)

Movement: This child is beating me from the inside out. Literally. It's had the hiccups a couple times. And Jordon, my mom, and Leah have all felt it from the outside. It kicked through the entire Nutcracker the other night (as in at the ballet) and through all the test days of dance music at the rink.

Sleep: I've had my first couple nights of pregnancy awake-ness. You know when you can't sleep or you wake up and are just awake. My body is kicking into preparedness for when babe comes. Every time I find myself I wake I find myself excited to be awake in a few months nursing my babe! I still sleep half on my tummy and half on my side quite comfortably and don't like or use any extra pillows, etc.

Cravings: Actually...none! I really can't think of anything I've craved at all this past week. I really wanted cranberries when I saw them at the store, but that wasn't a craving so much as they were on sale and I like cranberries :)

Symptoms: It's actually an okay portion of pregnancy...I'm a bit tired and my back is sore and still spasmy - but nothing major. It hurts right now cuz I'm typing this in between work and it hurts sitting like this for long periods of time. My hair is definitely growing in straight and that's annoying. I have great nails and long leg hair (also a symptom of not shaving cuz it's winter :D :D :D). My belly button has half popped out which is weird because my belly is no where near as big. I've been a bit hungrier lately too - nothing like how I was with Lex, but hungrier.

Best moment of the week: I got my results from my ultrasound since I last posted - all is well - I do have an anterior placenta again (like I did with Lex) - but this babe, I think, is much lower than the placenta and kicking under it (I don't know if that's possible, it's what I assume). My fibroid they were monitoring is fine and out of the way - I do have to have a followup ultrasound at 30 weeks to check on it. I also got to hear babe's heartbeat at my midwife appointment (149 if you're keeping track - Lex always hovered around 150 too just for the record). The best moment of the week outside pregnancy? It's over :D And now this family is focusing on Jesus and the Christmas season.

Silent Night

2011-12-14T21:47:00.000-08:00

Tonight this song speaks wonders to me - actually it speaks wonders to me all Christmas season long. I think it's my favourite Christmas song ever. I hope and pray this is next week. I hope and pray for this week to be over.

Let me tell you about my week in pictures - why my work shift is starting at 9:45 at night *yawn*

Last Night's Stream of Consciousness

2011-12-14T10:18:00.000-08:00

I wrote this last night, but thought I'd post it now - enjoy where my mind wandered :)

-------------------------------------------------------------------------

I seriously kicked today in the butt.

Today, I was supermom...even if I didn't need to be. I gave when I had nothing else to give - even if it took Starbucks and a small glass of wine (and go ahead and judge - my midwife said it's fine to have a small glass now and then...and so did my Nonna!).

My back hurts climbing into bed - I am still pretty small physically and I forget that I'm 6 months pregnant.

My schedule/calendar says 2 weeks (plus this one to finish) until I'm in my 3rd trimester. How did that happen?

I didn't nap today. It took a lot, but I'm proud I pushed through. Tomorrow is a quieter day - just ballet for Alexys - and a few errands to run. I'll try not to nap again.

I'm reading a book called Birthing From Within and I love it. It's a bit more artsy than I am...but that's okay.

I made 8 dozen gingerbread men today and decorated 6 dozen. Some are gifts, some are for Alexys' class party, and some are in the freezer now.

I didn't make supper tonight. Jord had Subway...I had a homemade sandwich. Alexys ate some - it's the first sandwich she's ever really eaten.

Baby's foot is visibly sticking out my tummy right now. I think it's sleeping cuz it's not moving. It kinda hurts.

I've now been pregnant as long as I knew I was pregnant with Alexys (24 weeks :D).

I think Alexys may be the donkey in her Christmas play at school. Realistically I didn't think she could have a speaking part - she won't stand up there yet or remember lines - but she was walking around the house today saying "eeeee haw" after school. I don't think I've ever taught her what a donkey says. Thursday may be epic.

kortney elise xoxo

If I Don't Make a To-Do List...

2011-12-13T10:49:00.000-08:00

...I'll go crazy. For real. And I'm half cheating and copied and pasted from my previous list, but that's life. Time is ticking. Christmas is coming :) And seriously...you don't even have to read this. I just needed to put it down somewhere I wouldn't lose it.

Tuesday:
~~-Preschool until 11:30 am (I remembered show and tell!)~~
~~-Canskate at 4:30 pm.~~
~~-Bake treats for Alexys' party day x2~~ ~~(rice krispies for goodie bags and gingerbread men for class~~).
~~-Bake treats for Alexys' skating teachers - do up packages for gifts for today.~~

Wednesday:
~~-Cancelled trip to Stanley Park - couldn't take the stress - will rebook for next week.~~
~~-Ballet at 4:30pm.~~
~~-Bring teacher's gift.~~
~~-Don't forget to go pay December fees and costume fee.~~
~~-Decorate above mentioned cookies and package rice krispies for Alexys' birthday handout.~~
~~-Make labels and tie pretty bows for said rice krispies. Find chocolates to add. Actually do this today (Tuesday). The chocolates I mean.~~
~~-Find Christmas trays for party day. Present appropriately.~~

Thursday:
-Bring teacher's mini gifts (thankfully class is doing a big gift - just had to give $$$ wahoo!).
-Don't forget cookies and rice krispie treats.
-Party Day at preschool - 9-11:30am - Plan to stay for a while cuz it's party day.
-Canskate Christmas party at 3:30-5:30pm.
-Bible Study 7pm - perhaps bring appy (there are so many Christmas ones I want to try on pinterest, sigh).
-Skip LMSSC Christmas party because I'm going to Bible Study instead :D

Friday:
-Photos at Sears at 11am - be there at 10:45 - going to reattempt Santa photos, too. I don't promise I won't drink by this point :) Baby 2 will understand. I know it...it may even appreciate it :D
-Test Day at 3:15 at White Rock - Antonio is going to babysit. I've reminded him twice. Note to self - remind him everyday this week.
-Get home approximately 7pm. Fall into bed and collapse.

Saturday:
-Jackie's Christmas party in evening - make appy and wrap Eilidh's Christmas present.
-Jordon works, I believe - find someone to entertain Lex during the day so as to be able to actually work.

Sunday:
-Church...making good personal progress here - post to come another day - but I have actually made it 2 of the past 4 Sundays. Which is more than the past 2 years combined. Let's continue this pattern, yes!!!

Let's add work on every single day.

And next week? Here's my list:
-Monday at 11:30am - Alexys' 3-year-old well check-up at the doctor's office.
-Wrap presents.
-Make a gingerbread house.
-Go to Stanley Park.

The end. I'm really looking forward to celebrating the real reason for Christmas next week and focusing on that. This week can be over any time now :)

kortney elise xoxo

Alexys May is 3!!!

2011-12-11T15:27:00.000-08:00

Somehow, some way...my baby turned 3 today.

I'm not sure how 3 years flew past quite so fast - I literally still remember giving birth, spit up, poop up the back, her hitting all her milestones, her first word, her first time sleeping through the night (oh wait, that was August :D)...I'm not really sure how or why time flew so fast. But it has and here I am...with a 3 year old.

Jordon and I had a discussion this morning - we simply find it a miracle that we haven't killed her yet. Intentionally or otherwise. I kill plants just by looking at them, so the fact that I've kept another person groomed, fed, and nourished...as well as entertained, kicking, and happy...for 3 years, is beyond belief to me.

So Miss Alexys May? What does life look like for you at 3? Let's see.

You weigh 35 pounds and are approximately 3 feet, 5 inches. You've only gotten taller in the last 6 months and I don't think you've gained a pound. You're in size 4 clothes almost exclusively - the odd 3 or 5 fits, but for some reason, at this point, everything caught up and you're in a 4T. Your shoes are a 9 or 10, though if possible a 9.5 fits best. You've finally let me put a hat on you a time or two and when given the choice, you nearly always pick a dress. Or your puppy shirt - that's a close second.

Your life is busy and that's how you thrive. You have preschool twice a week, skating once a week, and ballet once a week. I don't suppose it's over the top busy, but for a 3 year old, you're kept entertained. If I ask you which activity you'd like to do, you choose school almost without question. I'm not sure your favourite part of school, but from the watching sessions we've had and my sneak peaks, I'd say song time and playing in the gym. You love skating "like mommy" and can even do it all by yourself now. At ballet, you're learning how to skip and point your toes in first position. You'll have your first skating show in March and your first ballet show in June.

It's true what they say - some kids really don't talk much until you're 3. And that about sums you up. Unless you had something clear, coherent, and intelligent to say, you didn't say much. I can almost say you're never quiet now, but not quite. My favourite phrases lately that you used regularly are:
Oh my gosh.
What's going on here?
What are you doing?
...and the conversations that your princesses have with each other - I think that's my favourite. They have full on conversations that reflect the world around you...it's like a stream of your consciousness and I love it.

You can count to 13 (which sounds like "poutine") and then you repeat "poutine" over and over...and then after a few minutes say 20! You sometimes skip 6 or 7, but never both and sometimes neither. You've got your whole alphabet pretty much down pat, but I think you've really just memorized the tune. You're learning all your colours and shapes at preschool and I think have most of them down now. Sometimes you mix up red and green. You even know an ellipse and octagon! You love to sing more than anything and memorize songs like no other - obviously right now it's Christmas songs and your favourites are "Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer" and "Jingle Bells." You love your preschool songs...well, most of them...and any single princess song ever written. And yes, you know all the words.

I don't know that you have a favourite colour, but you almost always pick pink and recently purple too. Your favourite snack is probably "peanut butter in the bowl" or just a "snack" which is a fruit leather. You only eat raw veggies, except for peas...but aren't really a picky eater. You prefer grazing and definitely go through up and down weeks. You are a milk-a-holic and will often even pick milk over juice. You still don't like water (sigh, just like mommy). Your favourite princess is *probably* Snow White, but that too changes. You'll watch pretty much any movie, but Monsters Inc and Tangled might be up there on the top...at least this week. Your favourite toy is probably your doll house - you spend hours playing with your princesses and the furniture.

You go to bed between 9 and 10 each night and are up between 7:30 and 8. You do nap most days (a recent re-addition), but if you miss your nap, you're okay with it and aren't any more or less cranky. You do sleep through the night most nights, but sometimes come into Mommy's bed around 6:30 and we cuddle until it's time to get up. You demand I put my arm around you or you won't go back to sleep.

You have manners beyond your age, I'm sure of it. You're so polite and always use thank you, sorry, and excuse me...please sometimes still needs prompting. You also throw temper tantrums with the best of them...perhaps you could write a book on the art of tantrum throwing. It's taken a lot of patience and careful trial and error to find out what makes you tick and relax.

In the end, you're growing into a bright young girl. I still can't quite believe your 3. You are full of exuberance and life. You have never-ending energy and a lightness to life. I know you'll be a great big sister come April (even if it takes some convincing) and that as you continue to grow, you'll keep making mommy and daddy proud.

We love you sweet 3-year-old Alexys <3
kortney elise (and daddy too!)

Alexys Has a Birthday Party

2011-12-07T09:36:00.000-08:00

Alexys doesn't turn 3 until Sunday, but we celebrated with her friends this past Monday at Go Bananas. Truly the best choice for a 3 year olds party - no pre-cleaning, no post-cleaning, fast, quick, easy, and painless. They did the food (I brought veggies and some chips&dip) and invited a bunch of kids. I made cupcakes (instead of a cake in which you have to cut) and called it a day. Alexys screamed when we left because she wanted to stay. I'd call that a success.

Fantasy Skating - Grand Prix Final

2011-12-06T22:12:00.000-08:00

I missed posting my Cup of Russia picks. But I did them and was 199th. I probably could have done a bit better, but I didn't have the time and flew through them...much like these ones. But I'm writing them down cuz it's a smaller event...but not an easier event.

Ladies:
A) I went with Elizaveta Tuktamisheva over Mao and Carolina. Sorry kiddos - she's got nerves of steel at this point and her technical points and consistency are hard to beat. For now.

B) I went with Akiko over Alissa and Alena. Ugh. Tough choice. This is a hard event, yowsa!!

Podium:
1) Tuktamisheva
2) Mao Asada
3) Akiko Suzuki for the spoil over Carolina.

Men:
A) Patrick Chan. Because he's in Canada, he builds as the season goes on, and he's had a longer break. Daisuke will be close, but their points will be similar, me guesses, anyways. I love Jeremy, but he wont' beat these two.

B) Javier over Brezina and Hanyu. Apparently Hanyu has a sprained foot of some sort (he was actually my pick and then I switched upon reading this). Javier has some great momentum.

Podium:
1) Patrick Chan
2) Daisuke
3) Javier for the spoil over Jeremy

Pairs:
A) The Germans...with an even bigger vengence...but I see a great battle happening and coming together, if not now, then Worlds.

B) The Canadians. I know. I should have picked the Zhangs. But I don't like them, so I'm sure I'll regret it.

Podium:
1) Germans
2) Russian (V/T)
3) Russians (K/S)

Dance:
A) Oh how I hated having to pick them - but I got with Voir - they're Canadians at home. It'll be close, so it's fine.
B) Canadians again. Even if I like the Shibs and the Russians have a higher score. Someone needs to give the bridesmaids the wedding gown once in a while ;)

Podium:
1) Canadians
2) Americans
3) French

23 Weeks

2011-12-06T12:59:00.000-08:00

23 weeks exactly. My bum is still bigger than my belly!!!

How far along: 23 weeks

Size of baby: 8.5 inches - an ear of corn...I also read it's like a small doll now in proportions, etc.

Total weight gain/loss: I haven't weighed myself, but considering I just ate a huge bowl of perogies with sour cream, butter, and bacon bits...we'll just wait for my midwife appointment on Thursday :D

Maternity clothes: Mostly for comfort...but I'm still wearing my regular jeans and can do them up till about mid-afternoon - at which point I just add the belly band and we're good to go!!!

Movement: I can't get over how different this babe is - again, will truly be shocked if it's not a boy!!! It actually kicked me so low, it felt like it kicked on the BOTTOM of my uterus. This baby is SO low in my uterus, I think, it's bizarre!

Sleep: Must sleep more. I could sleep anytime. Right now? Sounds great...I also just ate myself into a food coma. I'm just waiting for Alexys to crash. And I will be shortly behind today. I have no troubles with sleep and have even been managing to wake up once to pee in the night the past few nights, before the pain sets in.

Cravings: White sauce (alfredo sauce) on pasta...I don't even normally really like this, but it was SO yummy. Jordon made me add shrimp, which was fine...but I think I could have drank the sauce. Yum!!!

Symptoms: Just so tiiiiiired. And I had the urge to waddle yesterday. And my back spasm'd. And I have terrible braxton hicks like crazy.

Best moment of the week: Alexys' 3rd birthday party...and her birthday is on Sunday. Pictures will come, but it was so nice to have Alexys play with all her friends and have a little partay. She sure got spoiled. Pregnancy related? Hmmmm...it was nice to have someone call my skinny when I feel like a blimp. And I have a midwife appointment Thursday, as I mentioned, so I always love hearing babe's heartbeat and I'll be getting ultrasound results too :)

22 Weeks

2011-12-01T10:35:00.000-08:00

I know you might not be able to tell...but I'm carrying so much higher and different than Alexys - comparison pic to come :)

How far along: 22 weeks and 3 days.

Size of baby: 8 inches - a papaya (apparently babe didn't grow by their measurements, LOL).

Total weight gain/loss: I apparently lost a pound this week. I'm just holding steady. I'm good with that. Seriously. Babe is clearly growing, so let's just use up the extra fat stores from last time I never got rid of ;)

Maternity clothes: Yep. And I have a feeling Santa bought me some maternity jeans (which I don't own) for Christmas. From Macy's. Which I tried on already. Thanks Santa :)

Movement: I can't get over the movement this time. Like I said - another week till I felt Alexys. And this one? It's even more psycho than she was. Great - she was nuts inside my belly. A couple days ago it kicked so hard it felt like it BIT me. Seriously. It does tend to have daytime movement more than nighttime. I hope this is a sign of things to come ;)

Sleep: I sleep great. Still. Except. I tend to wake up about 10 minutes before Jord has to get up for work (about 6:45, I think) - and realize I haven't gone pee ALL night and am in SO much pain. Like with tears in my eyes I have to pee so bad. I'm all crampy and sore...and it hurts to pee. I'm contemplating setting an alarm to pee in the middle of the night. It's awful. And then even after I pee, it takes a while to fall back asleep at that time of day because I can hear Jord getting ready, and then I just doze off and Lex wakes up. It's fine, but not the greatest.

Cravings: Starbucks? I don't think that's a pregnancy thing though - mostly just Christmas craving :)

Symptoms: A couple mornings of morning sickness, but just a quick barf and it's gone, so that's fine. The whole in pain when you gotta pee thing. Oh, and the sneeze and pee. That's a pretty crappy symptom, LOL - moms will know what I mean. Ugh.

Best moment of the week: When my in-laws came AND when they left, LOL ;) They were great to have here and helped, cooked, cleaned, and did laundry...but our house is only so big (much too small for 4 adults and a preschooler), so some peace and quiet this morning, enjoying my coffee, listening to Christmas music - it's lovely.

Edited to add a collage pic comparing this one to Alexys at the same stage:

It's the Most...Busiest...Time of the Year!

2011-11-29T10:30:00.000-08:00

Edited to add the crossed out stuff - it makes my head feel better :)

It really is the busiest time of year...and in reality for me, it's less to do with Christmas than it is to do with the fabulous winter sport of skating! Strange, but true - December and January seem to be the busiest months...I'm exhausted mentally processing the amount of things to do coming up.

I'm learning to say no and not feel bad, but I do love volunteering my time for kids who love the same sport I do! I also don't mind saying yes more often right now, because I will be taking off some time from judging, come baby, of course. There's some things I'd like to accomplish before then (in terms of judging qualifications). I'm also learning to say no simply out of necessity - Alexys has activities and things to be done at Christmas time too. Doing these things is even more important to me, so it's okay to say no to other things.

What is also interesting to me is that while my next 3 weeks are extraordinarily busy...I have absolutely nothing planned the week before Christmas. There is no school, activities, skating, events, etc. It's God's helpful way of helping us focus on Him this season. We're really making an effort to celebrate the reason for the season and focusing on Advent this year. We started with church last weekend and I realized how much I enjoyed it and need it. Alexys enjoyed the singing and I want her to grow up in a church environment she feels safe in. We didn't go this Sunday, as my in-laws were here, but we'll be back next week. It's taken time, but we're changing our focus in life...on things that mean something to me, deep into my core of being.

For my own purposes, so I can breathe and make it through...the next 3 weeks entail:
-5 low test days (~~Newton~~, ~~Abbey~~, ~~North Surrey~~, ~~Aldergrove~~, and Ladner).
~~-1 evaluation day (LMSSC)~~
~~-Synchro Christmas gala~~
-Trialing at a high test day (North Surrey)
-LMSSC Christmas show
~~-Synchro meeting in Burnaby~~

-Alexys and Jord's actual birthdays
~~-Alexys' birthday party - went the easy route on this one - smart move by me :) No more supermom here!~~
-Organizing a family birthday for Alexys and Jord with my family (we did one with the other side this past weekend which was just simple and easy and perfect!)

-Ballet Wednesday nights
-Christmas Canskate family skate (Dec 15)
-Canskate Tuesdays
-Preschool Tues/Thurs
-Alexys' party day in December at school (make goodie bags for her b-day) plus that's actual Christmas party day and that entails making snacks for the class (gingerbread men attempt!).

-Christmas lights at Stanley Park (Dec 16)
-~~My in-laws leave Wednesday evening (drive to airport)~~
-Midwife appointment (23 weeks!)
-Moms group Bible study
-Potential friend's xmas party - Jack? Can I plan for this?

And then? A week of rest and relaxation. Good thing my Christmas shopping is done and my tree is just missing ornaments before its done :) I'm super glad I was organized early this year or I may lose my mind in the next few weeks. Oh and did I mention I'm still attempting to hit my 50 minutes 6 days a week working. Yes, that too.

kortney elise xoxo

Alexys' Preschool Photo

2011-11-28T00:16:00.000-08:00

I had to share because it's so her and just WAY too cute :)
This is her "official" preschool photo at (just about) 3 years old.

kortney elise xoxo

21 Weeks

2011-11-27T15:26:00.000-08:00

Excuse the no makeup, scrub look :) 21 weeks and 5 days

How far along: 21 weeks and 5 days.

Size of baby: 8 inches - a spaghetti squash!

Total weight gain/loss: I'm up about 1.5 pounds since my last post (but that was nearly 2 weeks ago technically, hehe). The goal is 1 pound a week from here on out. Still just under my starting weight :)

Maternity clothes: Okay. Yes. I admit it. I'm in maternity clothes now. I still fit my pre-preggo jeans, just with a belly band. I need maternity shirts for the length...because yes, my belly is now officially a bump. It's almost hard to miss most of the time :)

Movement: Yep. Lots. And strong. And last night I could feel it from the outside for the first time :) I can't believe how early and how strong, compared to Alexys. Either this is a strong freaking kid (Jordon does remind me it's a Story) or it really is a huge difference of what having an anterior placenta the last time made.

Sleep: My head hits the pillow and I sleep. Like a baby. Not a newborn baby. Like a...really good sleeping baby. LOL - the kind that sleeps all night and doesn't wake up. Sometimes I sleep so well I awake with a tummy ache because I have to pee so bad.

Cravings: I craved an egg salad wrap today so I made one. And it was yummy. I also really wanted steak for quite sometime and Jordon and I went out for our anniversary last night (a week or so late) - and I had steak. And it totally wasn't what I wanted. It was good, but kind of disappointing to crave something for so long and then not even really want it.

Symptoms: I haven't puked at all this week I don't think. I definitely popped and have a bump - that's a key symptom. I have had terrible "round ligament" type pain though, but that's bearable. Oh and Braxton Hicks contractions have started quite frequently, at least 3 times a day - my tummy goes super hard and I can definitely feel it. They're almost painful, but not quite.

Best moment of the week: Feeling totally human. I still have a cough, but oh well. I can handle and not even whine much about the stretching pains. I just feel pregnant and it feels great. No puking, no headaches, no nothing. Hoooooray. Working on the hill "down" now - less than halfway to go (or so we hope LOL). It's also been nice to have my mother in law here since Wednesday...she did and folded and put away all my laundry. What a relief that is - makes this preggo mama pretty happy. I'm also nearly caught up on my goal of 50 minutes a day for work - I should be able to finish catching up tonight for the week. I've discovered how fabulous it is to have goals...and how much I need it.

Can you tell I've had a good week? :)

Fantasy Skating - Round 5 Results

2011-11-21T09:23:00.000-08:00

Round/overall results aren't up yet.

Ladies:
A: Tuktamisheva - I am a genius. Liza won by 3 points over Carolina and Alissa (who actually score the same points if you picked them for Fantasy Skating).

B: Viktoria Helgesson - Viktoria was indeed about 9 points over Meite.

C: Sonia LaFuente - Finished the highest of the 3 choices, but less than a point higher than one girl.

**Perfect fantasy team for Ladies - first time ever - couldn't have picked better**

Men:
A: Patrick Chan - Not perfect, but still best possible choice by 16 points.

B: Nan Song - Hooray for going with momentum - 7 points over Rippon and 24 over Amodio!

C: Kevin Reynolds - This would have made a perfect team for Men...except Kevin withdrew after the short. In some ways, this costs me a lot of points...but the majority of people probably picked Kevin, so I feel it won't affect my standings so much.

Pairs:
A: Voloshozhar and Trankov - Yep - and by 10 points.

B: Duhamel and Radford - Hooray - beat the Americans by 7 points :)

C: Dube and Wolfe - Hooray, also the best pick!!

**Perfect pairs picks too - wow, go me! Makes me even more mad about Kevin R**

Ice Dance:
A: Tessa and Scott - Yep. Only by 12 points ;)

B: Anna and Luca - Yep. They're fabulous and growing on me. Beat the Russians by 13!

C: Sara and Adria - Darn - screwed up here, lost at least 15 points here. Oh well.

Podium Picks:
Ladies:
Gold: Alissa Czisny
Silver: Liza Tuktamisheva
Bronze: Carolina Kostner
Results: Right podium (3/3), wrong order. Liza 1st, Carolina 2nd, Alissa 3rd (but Alissa won the free).

Men:
Gold: Patrick Chan
Silver: Nobu Oda - he's got something left to prove this time round.
Bronze: Nan Song
Results: 2/3 correct, but Nan was 2nd, not 3rd...and bronze went to Brezina who was my first spoiler - Oda bombed :(

Pairs:
Gold: Voloshozhar/Trankov
Silver: Bazarova/Larionov
Bronze: Duhamel/Radford
Results: 3/3 - Perfect, and my spoiler was even 4th as expected :)

Dance:
Gold: Tessa and Scott
Silver: Pechalat and Bourzat
Bronze: Cappellini and Lanotte
Results: 3/3 - Perfect, and my spoiler was even 4th :)

Debt

2011-11-20T12:10:00.001-08:00

I hate debt.

And soon and very soon we will be out of debt, save for our mortgage. I don't count that in the same way though.

We paid off a debt this month we had from a few years ago - to our dentist. We went over what we could spend on benefits and it hit us unexpectedly. We finally did it. It's gone. And it feels great. Especially since I didn't go to the dentist while we were paying it off because I felt bad. I've made appointments for all of us for January.

We paid off Jord's car last year sometime, so no payments there either.

Next up - I have a small tab on my credit card. It's not much, but I want it gone. And so I've made a goal for myself. Well, actually...first I made a goal, then I thought about it and then realized that wasn't feasible unless someone took Alexys everyday for me. So here's my goal - sharing it might make it more real to me:

1. Need to type approximately 1500 audio minutes.

2. In 15 days, that's 100 minutes a day. Doable, but not very easily. Therefore - 50 minutes everyday (except Mondays when we're not allowed to type), allowing for Mondays off, and a 3-day grace period seeing as though this will be over Christmas.

3. By December 31st, I will have worked enough audio minutes to pay off my credit card.

Putting that down on paper for me, makes it realistic and attainable. Isn't that part of goal setting? I remember (okay, I googled it) - SMART goals are specific, measurable, attainable, realistic, and timely.

After this one, we have Jord's credit card (and yes, we are then cutting up our credit cards and keeping just one, emergency one) and the rest of my student loan. I am setting SMART goals for those too - after this first one of course.

Or maybe I'll just win the lottery instead. It's all part of baby steps to live and love my life NOW.

kortney elise

Baby Steps

2011-11-19T22:26:00.000-08:00

"And don't be wishing you were someplace else or with someone else. Where you are right now is God's place for you. Live and obey and love and believe right there." -1 Corinthians 7:17

Fantasy Skating - Trophee Eric Bompard - Round 5

2011-11-17T22:14:00.000-08:00

I'm not really sure why this didn't post yesterday - it was scheduled too :) I wrote it before the competition started, I swear :)

Well after moving up so great the last round, I feel like there's so much more pressure this time, 'round...or something (just kidding!!). Alright, here we go:

Ladies:
A: Tuktamisheva - This was super hard, like ridiculously hard - hardest one yet. Here's the thing - I don't think Liza will necessary will. I think she will be on the podium, yes. Will Alissa or Carolina more than likely win? Yes. The thing is - Carolina and Alissa in the past have both been melt down skaters. We've not seen that yet from either lady this season - this is also Carolina's third event. So, my reasoning is that I can't predict which of these 2 will meltdown, but likely one of them will. Liza will probably be 2nd or 3rd, but still rack up enough points that she's a less risky pick. Phew. Glad I got that out.

B: Viktoria Helgesson - Meite surprised me last competition, but she is going back to back here, and Viktoria has much stronger PCS to keep her up there in the top 5. She also medaled at her last event.

C: Sonia LaFuente - She's my personal favourite of the 3 and has the highest PB score, I believe. She'll probably be near the bottom, but in this field, who knows?

Men:
A: Patrick Chan - Duh. Especially over inconsistant Oda and Brezina.

B: Nan Song - I can't stand Florent - skating or personality - and so I'll avoid him regardless. Adam Rippon, I *want* to cheer for, but he seemingly always disappoints OR just doesn't get the marks - he's like Jeremy Abbott 2.0 - Nan Song surprised at COC with a bronze - and I think he'll be up there again.

C: Kevin Reynolds - I tossed and turned between Majorov and Reynolds...I went with Reynolds for the quads base points - his COC performance wasn't as bad as his placement made it seem, so here's hoping.

Pairs:
A: Voloshozhar and Trankov - yep. That's fairly obvious barring meltdown.

B: Duhamel and Radford - I've said it before and I'll say it again - I just love the fire these guys have. They'll use that and take it far. Evora/Ladwig are typical American pairs and like to end up in 4th.

C: Dube and Wolfe - I don't love them yet, but their last performance surprised me and they ended higher than I thought they would. Their PCS should keep them up high-ish.

Ice Dance:
A: Tessa and Scott - Yep. Duh.

B: Anna and Luca - Firstly, can I say I LOVE their exhibition? Anyways. They've apparently upped their game and I see them fighting for bronze here with the Russians.

C: Sara and Adria - I like this team - they have a sort of fire to them too - definitely better than the Chinese, I'd say.

Podium Picks:
Ladies:
Gold: Alissa Czisny
Silver: Liza Tuktamisheva
Bronze: Carolina Kostner
Spoilers: Maaaaaybe Murkami, but I doubt it. I'm wagering Czisny or Kostner for a meltdown - whichever one doesn't, will win.

Men:
Gold: Patrick Chan
Silver: Nobu Oda - he's got something left to prove this time round.
Bronze: Nan Song
Spoilers: Brezina, Rippon, Amodio, Reynolds...nearly the whole field - this is a deep competition.

Pairs:
Gold: Voloshozhar/Trankov
Silver: Bazarova/Larionov
Bronze: Duhamel/Radford
Spoiler: Perhaps Evora/Ladwig (maybe if they weren't American, teehee!).

Dance:
Gold: Tessa and Scott
Silver: Pechalat and Bourzat
Bronze: Cappellini and Lanotte
Spoiler: Will be close for bronze between Italians and Ilikyk/Katsalapov

20 Weeks

2011-11-17T14:12:00.000-08:00

Yes, I realize my face is cut out of the second one. I was too lazy to re-shoot that photo. I'm also aware I need new slippers.

How far along: 20 weeks and 2 days

Size of baby: 7 inches - the size of a large banana.

Total weight gain/loss: I'm up a pound :) Sitting down 5 pounds from starting weight.

Maternity clothes: I'm wearing pre-maternity jeans with a belly band still quite comfortably. I can actually do them up in the morning. I am wearing maternity shirts for length now, but still in my regular long sleeve shirts too, the longer ones. So yes and no :)

Movement: If I sit quietly, I can feel movement everyday. Sometimes it's really hard - it's weird to me because I didn't feel Alexys for another 3 weeks (because of an anterior placenta last time). I guess I don't have one this time :) Or else this baby is even stronger than Alexys...Jordon reminds me daily I'm growing a Story baby, hence it's size and strength. Great.

Sleep: Yeah, I'm really good at sleeping. I have a cold and apparently I was snoring the other night. I wake up once to pee. I really like sleep, but only nap a couple days a week if I have the chance. I'm today will be one of those chances (who am I kidding? I totally slept while Alexys was preschool - that's right, I spent the 2.5 hours I could have been alone doing a million other things, sleeping. And I loved every minute of it).

Cravings: Nope, not really. And totally not even hungry like a crazy pregnant lady. Just normal hungry.

Symptoms: Well the protruding belly and massive boobs are good indicators. My boobs have officially grown 2.5 inches in 20 weeks - and the milk isn't even in. Sheesh. If you knew how much I hated this...I LOVE nursing and that's the only thing that makes me not want to chop them off completely. I'm still puking a couple times a week...but mostly good.

Best moment of the week: Can I say my ultrasound, even though it's tomorrow? :) I know that will be the best pregnancy related moment of the week - and no, we're still not finding out the gender. We like surprises...I'm more tempted this time than last to find out - but also know that I have the luck that it'll be one of those freak cases where the gender is wrong ;) So just seeing the baby, being able to bring my mom (she never saw any of Alexys' ultrasounds!), and reassurance of baby's growth, all will be the best part.

(And can I whine and add the worst part is definitely this winter cold thing I have going on - sinuses are stuffy, sore throat, and a cough - and the worst part isn't even that you can't take drugs for colds while pregnant - it's that every time I cough, I either pee a little or gag myself causing me to puke. Lovely)

kortney elise xoxo

19 Weeks

2011-11-17T13:51:00.000-08:00

How far along: 19 weeks (and 5 days...when I wrote this).

Size of baby: 10-1/2 inches...the first time it can stretch enough to be measured head to toe instead of head to rump.

Total weight gain/loss: I haven't weighed myself this week, but last Monday (1 day shy of 19 weeks) I had a midwife appointment and was still at 125...no weight gain. I'm sure I've gained something this week, but haven't gotten that far in life ;)

***Dear Baby - this is as far as mommy got last week in writing this - I did manage to get a picture in so I'll post that. You'll understand soon enough the craziness that happens in life sometimes and while I pray for you everyday and love to sit and feel you kick...sometimes as number 2, that's gonna be life :) Your big sister got sick with HFM disease and a staph infection in her eczema - we were all home-bound for the week. To top it off, Mom got the same HFM disease after that. And so, while I still think about you, love you, and pray for you...this post just never got finished. Love, Mommy***

5 Minutes to Blog

2011-11-16T18:16:00.000-08:00

I have 5 minutes to blog - and I'm doing it in point form simply to get things out of my head - there's too much swirling around and I just lose "To Do" lists if they're handwritten. Sorry if you don't wanna read my life. You're welcome to skip this post :)

Drop off Novice report papers at house in Cloverdale.
Drop off jacket I sold on Facebook in Cloverdale.
Picture day - Preschool - Thursday.
Christmas gifts - need to make final list, go shopping Sunday, wrap before next Wednesday for Story family. The not knowing part is driving me crazy - include teachers, etc. on list.
Catch up on DWTS and Glee.
Treat bags for birthday party for Alexys - make a list of what to do day of and buy before.
Book other party room - bring cheque book.
List new stuff on Facebook. Delete sold stuff. Get other stuff to Amber's house.
Sort through bills - mail appropriate items ASAP.
Pay cell phone bill, television bill, Visa bill, and loan interest - Thursday.
Look up directions for the calendar I saw on Pinterest.
Santa pictures Saturday.
Figure out ultrasound plan on Friday - pray for no snow *grin*

Okay. I think that's it. Or at least that's enough that I can make dinner without my head spinning.

Oh - in great monetary news...we paid off one debt officially 100% today. 2 more to go - a little bit at a time. Our mortgage is also officially 20,000 paid off finally - it crept down so slowly when I was watching it to go under that mark. It mentally makes a difference to me to see it go down. And encourages me that perhaps a new house will be possible one day...not so far away.

kortney elise xoxo

Fantasy Skating - Round 4 Results

2011-11-15T09:46:00.000-08:00

Wahoo - my best result yet - 109th in this portion and moved up a lot to 136th overall. Go team "CoachKortney's Stars" (don't ask - it was an old name, LOL!). So how'd I do? Let's break it down :)

Ladies:
A: Akiko Suzuki - 1st! Mao would have been an okay pic too though - she was just a 1 point behind.

B: Ashley Wagner - Ashley was 5 points behind Leonova, but shouldn't have been. So we'll stick with that. As suspected, Agnes didn't fair well in her first appearance, finishing 2nd last in the free. Cynthia. Well, oh Cynthia.

C: Elene G - She's on the rise. I give this girl credit and see great things happening for her - best choice over Meite (who surprisingly wasn't last in either portion!) and Ishikawa (who was last).

Men:
A: Daisuke Takahashi - Yahoo. He won. And by 29 points :) If you didn't pick him, it sucks to be you.

B: Tatsuki Machida - Good choice over Mroz (who, as suspected, landed the 4lutz and promptly got the same PCS as about a Sr. Bronze skater :D)...and surprisingly Contesti finished 4th. Shocking, I know. But I still liked Machida better, so that counts for something.

C: Konstantin Menshov - Sigh. Fail, fail, fail - well, it almost worked - it worked in the short. Figures that last time I picked Ross, he didn't fair so well (I do like him much better than the Russian) - and the time I don't, he wins his first grand prix medal with a bronze. Armin finished second last though - just not feeling him this year.

Pairs:
A: Aliona and Robin - After the short, I was right. And then Aliona and Robin blew the second half of their long - not terrible though - just 5 points behind. Shockingly, the Japanese team finished 2nd!

B: Iliushechkina and Maisuradze - Well, apparently I should have picked the Italians OR the Americans and been better off - this round left me 4 points to be desired behind either of those teams.

C: Castelli and Shnapir - Correctomundo on picking Castelli/Shnapir over the Canadians. Natasha and Raymond were very, very last - but got a great learning experience out of the deal, I'd bet!!!

Dance:
A: Kaitlyn and Andrew - In terms of fantasy skating points, the Shibs and Canadians tied - Shibs won by 0.09, so we get the same amount of points :)

B: Germans - Right again - Reed/Reed from Japan finished last while the Germans were 4th.

C: Kriengkrairut and Giuleietti-Schmitt - Best choice yet - Alex and Mitch withdrew after the short and therefore earned literally half the points of these guys. They were still 2nd last though.

BONUS - Podium Picks...
Ladies:
Gold: Akiko Suzuki
Silver: Mao Asada
Bronze: Ashley Wagner
Spoilers: Kiira Korpi, Alena Leonova
I was right on 2/3 (Gold/Silver) with bronze going to the spoiler, Alena...but should have been Ashley :)

Men:
Gold: Daisuke Takahashi
Silver: Takahiko Kozuka
Bronze: Konstantin Menshov
Spoiler: Tomas Verner
2/3 - I was right on Gold/Silver and bronze and spoiler blew it, with Ross picking up the back end.

Pairs:
Gold: Aliona and Robin
Silver: Yuko and Alexander
Bronze: Iliushechkina and Maisuradze
Spoilers: Narumi/Mervin and Caydee/John
None right, but switch 1st and 2nd, and add Narumi/Mervin as the spoiler for bronze.

Dance:
Gold: Kaitlyn and Andrew
Silver: Shibs
Bronze: Elena and Nikita
1/3 - I knew this would be your podium - just switch 1/2 (by 0.09!) and bam!

Just about...

2011-11-10T09:33:00.000-08:00

...halfway!!! Can you believe it? I'm nearly 20 weeks and in North American terms, that's halfway done (some Scandinavian countries consider 42 weeks the proper length of a pregnancy as in North America we get the 2 bonus weeks - it's about 2 weeks after your LMP that ovulation occurs...but it's easier to count from LMP than ovulation, so doctors here give us 2 free weeks). Anyways, I try and prepare and think of my pregnancy as 42 weeks and therefore am due between April 3rd and April 17th :)

So I admitted to my midwife on Monday - I'm a birth junkie. Since having Alexys, I think about labour and delivery all the time. I read blogs, stories, watch documentaries, and think about it all the time. This is like some strange confession, but I can't wait for labour to start (and not just because I get the baby at the end). I truly crave the experience again.

I've thought about this for sometime. I relate pregnancy to the adrenaline rush of stepping onto the ice to compete at a big competition. Obviously, very different experiences, but unless you've skated (or something similar, I'm sure) - you won't get it. The adrenaline you feel is indescribable. It's like some strange high and rush. I love that feeling. Others do not. I think this is why some people fear birth, aren't good with birth, etc. - if you've never experienced that kind of adrenaline rush, I don't think you know what to do and how to deal. Seriously. It's like your not really there, you go through the motions, it happens, and then it's hard to remember...you just know it did. Identical feelings in my mind.

So...because I think about birth so much, I wanted to share some of my thoughts for birthing this time around. I know it's early-ish, but I really do think about these kinds of things often.

Firstly, I'm not an idiot - if there's something wrong or not right happening and any of these things is to be avoided in order to save baby...so be it. I wouldn't get hung up on something trivial. Baby and my own safety/health do come first.
It almost goes without saying, but I'm hoping to avoid a c-section. I believe this is a lifesaving miracle that is way overused. In fact, this time around I'm hoping to avoid all interventions, including all drugs, etc. The epidural will be avoided at all costs (yes, I am irrationally fearful of needles), but I don't want drugs and am aiming to even skip the laughing gas. I used it last time to help with my own breathing more than the relief of pain. I hope to control it more so on my own this time.
I am quite adamant against induction, unless baby is in danger. There are other techniques before medical induction is used and I am prepared to embrace those. I am prepared to be pregnant longer than 40 weeks and will try my best not to complain.
The part of the plan I'm excited for is staying home as long as possible. I feel like we went in too early last time, but because the midwives come to me now, I feel we'll be able to stay home as long as possible. Also barring any post complications and depending on time of day, we'll be leaving the hospital within 6 to 12 hours. Again, possible because my midwives come to me for 12 and 24 hour checkups.
Now, mentally last time I went in with an open mind. Prepared for the worst without expectations. In some way, I'm the same this time...I have an open mind and won't be so determined I'm crazy or make poor choices, but who am I kidding? I'm a planner. A trainer. A repeater. I know you're laughing that I can compare anything to skating...but!!! If I go into a competition without practice or a plan in place, things often fall apart - of course they do, you're not trained. However, if you go into a competition, prepared for as much as you can be, and yet, still have a main plan in place, things often happen as planned. Not always, but more often than not. I realized a lot of things with my last birth experience - I wasn't acting like me. I was trying to appease other people, do as I'm told, etc. This might sound terrible, but I don't want someone else's help. Having the nurse tell me when/how to push and me trying to be a good patient and "listening" totally didn't work - it made things worse. Trying to include Jordon as much as possible and keep him in mind, totally didn't work. This time, it's about me. What my mind wants and how I want to do it. I'll still be me - I'll probably still laugh and smile between contractions. I'll still be on Facebook between yells. That's who I am - kind of low key and laid back...but when it comes time to concentrate and do what I need to, it's my way or the highway (well, unless of course something is wrong *grins*). This is possible because Jordon and I know what to expect...he knows that he can eat and will be hungry. He can go for a walk and I won't be mad. That's how we roll.
I'm also looking into some more mental birth techniques - there's some books I need and want to read and some MP3s I'll be downloading (hmmmm, as soon I find an MP3 player). These are part of the mental plan. I haven't fully decided yet, but I'll write about it when that time comes.
After babe is born, it'll be placed on me immediately (again, barring complications...do I need to keep saying that? I think I do...or my mom might worry LOL!). All goo and guck intact. Baby on me and breastfeeding ASAP. I don't care who comes in the room or at what point, but if you do, please deal with the fact there will be a baby on top of my boob. You can hold it when it's done there. Promise. We'll also be skipping the eye guck (I don't have any STDs and wasn't really aware of what it was for last time). Fairly positive I'll still go with the Vitamin K shot though. Oh. I'd still like Jord to cut the cord and say the gender...but it really won't bother me if he doesn't. To be honest, I can't remember the last time...and if it keeps him from passing out if he skips it, then so be it. I never knew just how squeamish he is :D
Oh. Also, the cord will be left to pulse as long as it wants (don't worry Mom, save for something wrong). It will not be cut until it's stopped pulsating. I think it's weird we don't just let this happen - yet we'll take the cord blood and store it. Hmmmm - why not let baby HAVE the stuff it's supposed to have? Genius, right?
It's also really important to me that the first time Alexys meets the baby that it is her alone in the room with Mommy, Daddy, and Baby. She doesn't necessarily have to be the "first" one to meet baby, but I want her to know that she's still important and that the 4 of us are a family. I don't want anyone else in the room except the 4 of us at first. Baby will have a gift for Alexys and vice versa.

Okay. So this post is getting pretty long. I'm probably not really done with it either. There's probably about 18 more paragraphs I could type. And, as if you were worried, I totally will add to it and reflect upon it some more. I mean. I do have 20.5 weeks until we're really at that point (or so). So...for now, that is all.

Also - I know not ALL of you enjoy reading this stuff, but I totally love reading when other people post stuff like this (remember, birth junkie?!) - so if you don't like it, sorry. Hope you skipped it :)

kortney elise xoxo

Fantasy Skating - NHK - Round 4

2011-11-09T09:27:00.000-08:00

Well, last week's rating proved not so hot. I'm kinda sucking this year. Oh well. I finished 328th at Cup of China (worst result yet), and am currently 214th out of 635. Here's my picks for NHK:

Ladies:
A: Akiko Suzuki over Mao Asada and Kirra Korpi - Akiko is coming off a glorious SC while this is the other 2's season debut. Because it's later, they may not have had feedback or they could be stronger with more training time. Kiira has been battling injury and while I wish Mao a great comeback season...I pick Akiko.

B: Ashley Wagner (over Leonova, Phaneuf, Zawadzki) - Again, the momentum and bronze from SC...plus I love Ashley and always have. Phaneuf, I want to love, Alena will probably be up there, and I really don't think Agnes will do as well (well, maybe in the short), as everyone seems to expect.

C: Elene G (Over Isikawa and Meite) - pretty sure Ms. Meite will do well in the short, bomb the free - she doesn't have consistency yet, but I like her. Japanese skaters always do well, but I have high hopes for Elene. Perhaps Javier's outbreak will inspire her (same coach!).

Men:
A: Daisuke Takahashi (over Kozuka and Verner) - I think it'll be close between the 2 Japanese, but Daisuke may have motivation to prove himself after his not so great SC (well, in terms of placement). Verner, while he could be the highest, probably won't be.

B: Tatsuki Machida (over Contesti and Mroz) - Contesti has sucked this season even in Senior B comps...I struggled between the Japanese guy and Mroz with his quad Lutz. I like Brandon, but his PCS just aren't there yet. If he hits all his jumps, he may be right near the top...but I have a feeling a nice consistent Japanese boy will score me some points.

C: Konstantin Menshov - Remember Kortney, always pick the Russian. Plus Ross and Armin already screwed you major in past competitions.

Pairs:
A: Aliona and Robin (over Yuko and Alex and the Japanese) - I think the World Champs will be stronger in the end, though Yuko and Alex tend to do well earlier on - they are on their 2nd event in a row though. I love Takahashi and Tran, but they're not quite in this league yet.

B: Iliushechkina and Maisuradze - I honestly just picked the Russians over Americans (although I really do like Caydee and John) and the Italians.

C: Castelli and Shnapir - The last 2 times I've done this (picking someone over my Canadians), it's bitten me in the butt. But I'm doing it again. I just seem to feel like Natasha and Raymond are still too Junior-ish for the Senior ranks.

Dance:
A: Kaitlyn and Andrew - Over the Shibs and the Russians...I think our Canadians have a fire under their butts this season, but the Shibs might be pissed from last week. The Russians will score because they're Russian, but it's not their time yet.

B: Germans - over the Japanese. The Reeds have that brother/sister team thing going on. It doesn't fair well in Short Dances, I'm afraid (Shibs, neither).

C: Americans...ready? Kriengkrairut and Giuleietti-Schmitt (glad I don't have to say that) - I think they'll fair better than Alex and Mitch, though I'd prefer that Alex and Mitch have a comeback. I love them, but their programs really aren't that great this season and they've been kind of lackluster - never heard of Italians, so went with name recognition.

BONUS - Podium Picks...I actually did decent on this part last week - let's try again:
Ladies:
Gold: Akiko Suzuki
Silver: Mao Asada
Bronze: Ashley Wagner
Spoilers: Kiira Korpi, Alena Leonova

Men:
Gold: Daisuke Takahashi
Silver: Takahiko Kozuka
Bronze: Konstantin Menshov
Spoiler: Tomas Verner

Pairs:
Gold: Aliona and Robin
Silver: Yuko and Alexander
Bronze: Iliushechkina and Maisuradze
Spoilers: Narumi/Mervin and Caydee/John

Dance:
Gold: Kaitlyn and Andrew
Silver: Shibs
Bronze: Elena and Nikita
I don't think spoilers in this event - it'll be that podium, in some order.

18 Weeks

2011-11-05T13:29:00.000-07:00

18 weeks and 4 days in the morning - click to make it bigger :)

How far along: 18 weeks (and 4 days)...picture to follow once I'm dressed and groomed :)

Size of baby: 6 inches - the size of a mango (yum, that sounds good, actually, hahaha!).

Total weight gain/loss: Same as last week - still haven't gained the last few weeks. Still down 6 from my original weight (and yes, I did the math wrong last week LOL!).

Maternity clothes: I pulled out all my maternity clothes and washed and put them in my closet. I can still fit my pre-pregnancy jeans though by mid-afternoon I had a belly band so I can undo the button as it's uncomfortable.

Movement: Still not everyday, but perhaps I just miss it ;) It's not like I have ample quiet time to sit and feel it and pretty much the moment my head hits the pillow, I'm out :D

Sleep: I'm finally starting to be able to stomach coffee again. I've been having a half-cup after lunch and that's kept my exhaustion at bay mostly - thankfully. I'm sleeping fine - on my belly still even. I do have some wicked back pain for the first 15 minutes or so that I lay down at night - it burns in the lower back. Once that is worked

Cravings: I think this is the first week I haven't craved anything really. Well, except for Chai Eggnog lattes - but I would have craved those even if I wasn't pregnant. Thank you Starbucks.

Symptoms: Well, I've moved on - I'm actually feeling much more human and functional now on a regular basis and with the addition of coffee, I'm actually really good. However, the carpal tunnel in my right arm is terrible especially on days I type for more than an hour (my job, remember?). I'm also maybe having some sciatica pain related to my back pain. Yuck.

Best moment of the week: Functioning, really. I like waking up and just feeling human and knowing I'm pregnant. I still don't love being pregnant like I did with Alexys, but I'm finally just happy and functioning. Those were a loooong 18 weeks of terribleness - I hope they're over.

Fantasy Skating - Round 3 Results

2011-11-05T11:58:00.000-07:00

Ladies:
A: Carolina Kostner - And we have the win here :) She was way above both Makarova and Murakami. Good choice.

B: Adelina Sotnikova - Well of the 4 choices, she placed 2nd best - but 13 points behind Mirai. Shoot. I don't know what to do with Mirai these days - she's up and down more often than a yo yo.

C: Bingwa Geng - Bingwa was looking like a good choice after her short, but then Kexin pulled ahead and was the top Chinese lady by 11 points. Shoot.

Men:
A: Jeremy Abbott - Confession. I actually switched my choice to Oda before the competition started - and then look at Jeremy - he goes an wins it. However, Oda was an okay choice this time around - just a point behind Jeremy.

B: Ricky Dornbush - Well, Hanyu was the better choice absolutely - he finished 21 points ahead of Ricky. This is the choice I should have changed, but I just really like Ricky. Lesson learned. Sigh. Ricky at least did finish ahead of Kevin.

C: Jialiang Wu - Stupid surprising Chinese kids. Wu came last. By a looong shot. The other Chinese guy? He WON the free program and finished third. I won't even tell you how disappointed I am I didn't pick the other guy. Hmph.

Pairs:
A: Wenjing Sui and Cong Han - Shoot. Worse choice ever. Okay, looking at the points not THAT bad. They're only 3 points behind the Canadians and 7 behind the Zhangs. I still think the Zhangs are boring.

B: Kavaguti and Smirnov - Yep. They won. By 9 points.

C: Klara K and Petr B - Okay. Should have changed this one. I don't want to talk about it. I'm depressing myself (another 20 point loss, sigh).

Dance:
A: The Shibs - Let me quote myself: "...not picking the Russians may prove terrifying for my score." Yep, sure was. The Russians won. By 15 points. I'd like to know who picked the Russians and if they really thought they'd win by a landslide.

B: Pernelle C and Lloyd J - Good choice. Hopefully I can make up points here for the ones who picked either American team. These French guys were 21 and 25 points ahead of the Americans.

C: Yu and Wang - Shocking - but still the worse pick of the 2 Chinese teams - 5 points behind the other ones.

BONUS - how did my podiums do?

Ladies:
Gold: Adelina Sotnikova
Silver: Carolina Kostner
Bronze: Mirai Nagasu
Right podium, wrong order - Kostner was first, Mirai second, and Adelina third.

Men:
Gold: Jeremy Abbott
Silver: Artur Gachinski
Bronze: Nobunari Oda
2/3 - Jeremy did win, Oda was 2nd and the surprise (to me at least) was Nan Song in 3rd.

Pairs:
Gold: Kavaguti and Smirnov
Silver: Sui and Cong
Bronze: Moore-Towers and Moscovitch
Spoiler: The Zhangs
2/3 - Kavaguti/Smirnov won, MT/Moscovitch were third - Zhangs did spoil and finished 2nd.

Dance:
Gold: The Shibs
Silver: Bobrova and Soloviev
Bronze: Carron and Jones
Right podium - Gold and Silver switched.

2011-11-03T12:40:00.000-07:00

I'm sharing this movie - it's called the Greater Good and it's about vaccines. There is also a part on Gardasil (cervical cancer vaccine) - and I think that one is very important - perhaps the most important discussion happening right now.

I'm closing the comments on this post because it is not my intention to start a discussion whatsoever.

However, regardless of your stance, it is worth watching - I'm not quite finished by the over an hour film is free to view in it's entirety for 2 more days.

If you're interested, click here and visit the website to watch. I think it's very neutral and brings up a lot of points that make you think, wonder, and question.

kortney elise xoxo

Fantasy Skating - Round 3- Cup of China

2011-11-01T10:47:00.000-07:00

Alright. After last week's near disastrous (for me) Skate America, I finished 200th in rankings AT Skate America and moved up the leader board from 316 to 206th overall. Not bad - out of 605 players. I'm hoping for more success this week!

Ladies:
A: Carolina Kostner - the other options were Makarova and Murakami - the latter may surprise onto the podium, but Makarova is still off an injury. I don't see them challenging Kostner save for her having a meltdown.

B: Adelina Sotnikova - Here's round 2 of the Russian baby dynamite - last week's Russian baby WON. Will Adelina? It's possible - I definitely see her over Gao and Marchei - and well, sorry Mirai - I wagered and lost on you last week.

C: Bingwa Geng - All 3 are Chinese ladies - I went with the one with the highest PB score and with Senior experience. I have no idea how any of these 3 will factor.

Men:
A: Jeremy Abbott - I may end up eating my own words - I'm not picking the Russian...or even the Japanese boy. I went with my sentimental favourite and I just hope he doesn't blow up in my face like Mirai last week. Please don't disappoint Jeremy.

B: Ricky Dornbush - Sorry, Kevin - I'm picking the American over you. I'd be okay if you prove me wrong, but I'll still be mad a bit. Kevin usually fails to put 2 clean programs together and Ricky has the PCS behind him I think...the Japanese boy, Hanyu, may have been a better choice, but I calls 'em as I sees 'em.

C: Jialiang Wu - It came down to name recognition (never heard of the other Chinese guy) and a higher PB score for Wu.

Pairs:
A: Wenjing Sui and Cong Han - I hate their short and think she looks like a bobble head - but they have the tricks. I think the Zhangs are kind of boring really and failed to impress at SC. I love the Canadians of Kirsten and Dylan, but I think that somehow at this point the young Chinese team's technical will win out at this point in the season.

B: Kavaguti and Smirnov - Actually surprised their ranking puts them in group B - I think they'll win or be 2nd actually, this was the easiest pick.

C: Klara K and Petr B - Why do I keep have to keep picking someone over Canadians? Again, group C often surprises, but I went with the higher PB and the fact that they finished 6th at Europeans. Taylor and Robert, the Canadians, have no Senior experience.

Dance:
A: The Shibs - I'm not sure how a GBR team is in category A (I must have missed them last year) and again, not picking the Russians may prove terryfing for my score, but the Shibs are coming off a world Bronze and a great last season. I think they'll win - but not in the same fashion as Voir or Marlie has the past 2 competitions.

B: Pernelle C and Lloyd J - I'm picking these French ones over the 2 Americans. Charlotte and Dean are World Jr Bronze medalists, but that doesn't always translate to Sr success. Emily and Todd are brand new, though success is in their future.

C: Yu and Wang - The other Chinese team didn't even register a PB so must be a debut? No idea. Figured they'll both be at the bottom. The end.

As a bonus, since it differs from the way the categories are chosen (and this is for my own waste of time, not points waste of time) - I bring you PODIUM PICKS :)

Ladies:
Gold: Adelina Sotnikova
Silver: Carolina Kostner
Bronze: Mirai Nagasu
Spoiler: K Murakami...I'm still somehow pulling for Mirai.

Men:
Gold: Jeremy Abbott
Silver: Artur Gachinski
Bronze: Nobunari Oda
Spoilers: Kevin Reynolds and Ricky Dornbush - bronze will come down to who skates the cleanest this go 'round.

Pairs:
Gold: Kavaguti and Smirnov
Silver: Sui and Cong
Bronze: Moore-Towers and Moscovitch
Spoiler: The Zhangs

Dance:
Gold: The Shibs
Silver: Bobrova and Soloviev
Bronze: Carron and Jones
Spoiler: Lichtman and Copley and even Samuelson and Gilles

Fantasy Picks - Round 2 Results

2011-10-30T16:00:00.000-07:00

Well, results aren't officially out for Fantasy Skating (usually out on Monday), but let's see how I did.

Ladies:
A: Mirai Nagasu - Sigh Mirai. She finished 5th with 151 points. I'm glad I didn't pick Rachel (23 points below Mirai, uuuugh) - and okay that I slotted her behind Alena (1 point behind) - but who would predict Akiko to win the free? Well, I guess I thought she would do well and not get the marks she deserved. Instead she did well and got the marks and finished 2nd with 20 points over Mirai. Tough event to predict for sure.

B: Elizaveta Tuktamysheva - Good choice me. She won.

C: Sarah Hecken - I don't even wanna talk about it. She finished 8th with 130 - better than Adriana as suspected - but little Miss Amelie has a fire under her butt and was 6th and 16 points over Sarah. I will go with my home country bias a little more often - and no one told me Sarah grew like a weed.

Mens:
A: Patrick Chan - Yep. Duh. He did squeak out the win in the end, but as suspected, not as clean early in the season as he is later in the season. That's called proper training IMO.

B: Javier Fernandez - HOORAY for picking Javier. He actually won the short and finished 2nd overall. Definitely the wisest choice I made (and hopefully it'll gain me some points)!

C: Ross Miner - Luckily he picked up his game in the long and I'm glad I chose him. Finished 6th with 202 - ahead of Rogozine and way ahead of Balde (the latter as predicted).

Pairs:
A: Tatiana V and Maxim T - Yep. Good choice. Blew the field away...21 points over 2nd and 45 points over the other choice in the category of the Russians.

B: Paige L and Rudi S - Shoot. They woulda done SO well if they had not messed up the last 30 seconds of their short. Blew it here though and they finished last - 5 points behind the other Chinese and 17 points behind the Japanese (who I fell in love with!).

C: Meagan D and Eric R - Yahoo. Good choice - they finished 3rd and it'll be close between them and Towers/Moskovitch at Canadians. I really like Meagan and her work ethic and drive!!!

Ice Dance:
A: Tessa V and Scott M - Good thing I didn't have to fall over dead - they won by over 23 points.

B: Ekaterina R and Ilia T - Damn Italians also have a new fire under their butts. Finished 3rd and 22 points over the Russians. There goes the theory of always picking the Russians.

C: Madison C and Evan B - What's interesting is that while Maddy and Evan were the best choice, I was pleasantly surprised at Tarrah and Keith - they should have been 5th in the Short and Free and got ripped off finishing last (instead of my expected finishing last by a long shot theory), though I would have still had them behind these Americans in the end.

So now I wait for the results and find out how everyone else did in comparison.
Fingers crossed!

kortney elise xoxo

17 weeks

2011-10-29T09:42:00.000-07:00

Edited to add picture :) I was 17 weeks 5 days here.

How far along: 17 weeks (and 4 days)...picture to follow once I'm dressed and groomed :)

Size of baby: 5.5 inches - the size of a sweet potato.

Total weight gain/loss: Haven't gained a pound this week - so that's down 7 from my original weight, up 4 from my lowest point a few weeks ago.

Maternity clothes: I think my belly is getting higher up because I wore my pre-maternity jeans this week and a non-maternity shirt and when I told someone I was 4.5 months, they stared at my stomach and said, "Where? In your toes?" LOL - Somedays I wear maternity clothes just because they're extra clothes...other days I just wear regular ones.

Movement: Not consistently everyday, but yep felt it multiple times now and it's definitely baby :)

Sleep: Apparently the exhaustion stage that is supposed to fade in trimester 2 has hit in trimester 2 :) Perhaps I was so occupied with puking during the 1st trimester, I didn't notice. I had a 3.5 hour nap yesterday and slept 9 hours through the night last night, just getting up to pee, I think ;) I'm hoping that caught me up for a while. I'm sleeping fine at night though.

Cravings: I made Jordon go buy me those real-fruit strawberry popsicles last night. Yummy. Oh and my mom made lasagne the other night and I can't get the flavour outta my head - SO yummy :)

Symptoms: Still the headaches quite frequently which suck, but I'm getting used to. I have a midwife appointment in 1.5 weeks, so I'll mention them again then. The puking is rare now, though I'm still nauseous in the mornings, especially if I have to get up earlier (like a set time, instead of lounging). I am more tired, but generally I feel like I'm starting to just be normal in pregnancy. I wouldn't go so far as to say I'm enjoying it yet, but maybe that'll be on the horizon :)

Best moment of the week: I love feeling baby move and even though it's so soft and sweet right now (as opposed to the punching mommy over phase that is sure to follow), it's just the best. Feeling more normal is also lovely.

What I Want You To Do...

2011-10-27T21:36:00.000-07:00

When I was approximately 12...13...14...I can't really remember. I had a pen-pal and we met from a Christian magazine (I think I might have talked about her before). She was super cool and we wrote for quite a while I feel like. She found me on Facebook a few years ago - and she's still super cool...and a beautiful, amazing, creative, God-fearing, mother of 4. And more awesome yet - she's recently moved to a farm with llamas. Or at least there was a llama in a picture. Or was. You'll see. Go see. Anyways - her posts have been really inspiring me the past few days.

She moved on the nudging of God. And He's certainly taking care of her. You really need to read her stories about how and why she moved to the farms, and her most recent post about her source of joy. Thanks Drea - it truly has been inspiring to see how brutally, raw-honest you've been lately. Seriously.

So these are kind of some thoughts in my mind.

See, we're having a baby in April. I'm 17 weeks - that's almost halfway. And while it seems like it's already been an eternity (remember, I've been nonstop whining about it) - it really is almost halfway. And I'm almost done. And all of a sudden I'll have a new baby.

Now don't get me wrong - I will gladly say this baby was planned and we wanted my kids about 3 years apart (they will be 3 years, 4 months apart). But somehow we also thought that we'd magically have more money in the new year and we could sell our place and move into something a bit bigger.

But the truth is - I don't think we can. We're accepting that we need to live in 800 square feet and be blessed and thankful that in our mid-twenties we own a home...that we live somewhere warm and so on. We need to be blessed and thankful for this before we can move somewhere else. We will have 4 of us in 800 square feet and while baby 2 may not physically take up much room, the stuff that accompanies a small babe does.

We have a few more debts that we really want to pay off before we move somewhere else. They're not huge in comparison to some people I know, but they're still nagging. We paid off one in entirety next month once that cheque comes out. Three more to go after that. Slowly, but surely. And then we're going to think about moving - Jordon will have had another raise or two (he took his current job with the long-term in mind, not the short-term) - and we'll feel more comfortable in terms of not being weighed down. And until then, we're going to learn to be joyful and thankful for what we do have. Learn to skip the "this sucks" and "I hate my house" act. We need to be thankful and peaceful where we are...and listen to what and when God says.

I don't share this often on here anymore it seems, but a verse that has resonated so deeply with me, over and over, and over and over, the past few months is a verse I read on my Bible app (yep, even on a Blackberry, there's an app for that) - it was in the Message. It plays over and over all day in my head:

"So here's what I want you to do, God helping you: Take your everyday, ordinary life—your sleeping, eating, going-to-work, and walking-around life—and place it before God as an offering. Embracing what God does for you is the best thing you can do for him. Don't become so well-adjusted to your culture that you fit into it without even thinking. Instead, fix your attention on God. You'll be changed from the inside out. Readily recognize what he wants from you, and quickly respond to it. Unlike the culture around you, always dragging you down to its level of immaturity, God brings the best out of you, develops well-formed maturity in you." - Romans 12:1-2 (The Message)

And so that's where we are. That's what I'm doing - I'm going to take my everyday, ordinary life - my sleeping, my eating, my going to work, and walking around life - and place it before God. I'll be changed from the inside out.

And for us, that begins with being thankful and peaceful with what we have...and not embracing the culture we fit into - the wanting more, better, right now culture.

Now? I'm off to the going to work part of life - thankful and as an offering.

kortney elise xoxo

Fantasy Picks - Round 2 - Skate Canada

2011-10-25T10:30:00.000-07:00

I'm currently tied for 316th in Fantasy Skating; just 58 points behind the leader though. Hopefully I can make up some lost ground this time 'round.

Ladies:
A: Mirai Nagasu - This was the hardest choice actually because on any given day any of these girls could medal. I'm going to go with Mirai because she does generally bring the points even if she might not win overall. I couldn't bring myself to go with Flatt though I'm curious how she's balancing skating and school...Leonova is the poor-man's Russian and Akiko, while I enjoy her, she always seems to be low-balled on PCS (but then I've never seen her live).

B: Elizaveta Tuktamysheva - It's funny she's in group B, because I actually think she'll be first or second. Sorry Cynthia - I love you, but Elizaveta beat Joannie, the current world champion, and Akiko at Japan Open. It's her first GP so it may not pan out, but she'll rack up the points regardless.

C: Sarah Hecken - yes, over 2 Canadian girls. Firstly, I adore this German girl - secondly, our Canadian women are just...well, sub-par. I'd wager DeSanctis will end up last and while Amelie did surprise at this event last year, I just don't see it happening again with a field so deep.

Mens:
A: Patrick Chan - Uh, duh? If he doesn't win, he'll certainly be 2nd or 3rd and it'll be just barely.

B: Javier Fernandez - I have a feeling I should always go with the Russian, but the soft spot is winning out - I enjoy Javier and look forward to seeing the positive results of his switch to Orser this summer. Ten could surprise, but this middle ground will probably be pretty even.

C: Ross Miner - Balde will be last. I picked Miner over Rogozine simply due to the fact that Miner has Senior experience on the world stage, while Rogozine does not...even if he is the Jr. World Champion.

Pairs:
A: Tatiana V and Maxim T - I think it's theirs to lose and while they might lose, I think the points will be close enough that I'm okay with picking them over the young Chinese and the other Russians.

B: Paige L and Rudi S - I looked up personal bests and they have the highest in group B, so I went with them. It didn't take much convincing - I love them :)

C: Meagan D and Eric R - Between the 2 Canadian choices, Meagan and Eric just have more fire under their belt. I think this will be a great season for them and I'm really not loving the Sebastien part of Jessica and Sebastien. Perhaps I really am on Team Bryce.

Ice Dance:
A: Tessa V and Scott M - Another duh choice. I'll fall over dead if they don't win.

B: Ekaterina R and Ilia T - They've had experience at the Senior level, while the other Russians are in their Senior debut. The Italians seem to be slipping instead of rising, unfortunately.

C: Madison C and Evan B - sorry Tarrah and Keith - I'll be cheering so much for you 2, but I think that Madison and Evan have more cumulative experience and I need to make up points here.

Pairs was probably my hardest pick thus far!!!

kortney elise xoxo

Settling Hormones

2011-10-24T23:27:00.000-07:00

It took a lot of focused energy, but I think that the hormones are finally starting to settle themselves. I was feeling really down and ucky last week and so not impressed with life and this pregnancy - and just things in general.

After getting my hair done (yes, it's growing in straight again and that's part of my feeling down problem - it's really irritating to have half straight and half curly hair - and I know how stupid and first world that sounds, but it is - it's awful) and my eyebrows too, as well as spending 2 days straight with just judging friends in a rink...I'm starting to feel better. I got another judging promotion - my first from the National Committee (up until this point they've all been people I know at the provincial level) - I'm now qualified to judge all levels, but Senior, in synchronized skating. The weekend also allowed to me to finish my Novice promotion in singles (so all but Senior and Junior, but I haven't submitted that report yet). It was a weekend about me, about accomplishing something I wanted and needed to, being rewarded for something I wanted to be rewarded for, and about physically looking better.

After all that, combined with a week and a half of not puking (which unfortunately ended this morning as face met toilet)...I'm feeling like myself again. I carved pumpkins with my baby brother today and even let Alexys use sparkles on the pumpkin she painted. I cleaned my mess of a house and tomorrow will attempt sugar cookies for Alexys' Halloween party on Thursday. My pumpkin was crafty.

I'm so thankful for a little normalcy...17 weeks tomorrow, and they've been a long 17 weeks. Here's hoping the next 23ish are much improved. I want to be able to enjoy this pregnancy and I finally feel like I might be able to do that :)

kortney elise xoxo

16 Weeks

2011-10-23T23:18:00.000-07:00

How far along: 16 weeks (and 5 days)...picture is from 16 and 4 and after a loooong day at the rink!

Size of baby: 5 inches - the size of a turnip.

Total weight gain/loss: Well, still down 7 pounds from my pre-pregnancy weight...which is up 4 pounds from my weight loss. Time to start being careful with what I eat and watching my nutrition, etc. For the past 4 months, I've eaten anything and everything that was appealing in the hopes that it would stay down. Seeing as though I'm not puking it all up, smart choices are in line. Starting tomorrow. I had to have a few days of giving into whatever junk I wanted - that's part of being pregnant right? :D

Maternity clothes: I actually found a pair of capris (not maternity ones) that fit with the button done up regularly - they are long enough to stuff into my Ugs and pass off as jeans. Score 1 Kortney. However, I think I'm going to be in maternity shirts soon - not because of my bump, but because of my massive knockers. Sheesh!!

Movement: I'm pretty sure I've felt a few teeny tiny flutters. I think...that was earlier in the week. Tonight (Sunday), I felt the baby move, I'm fairly positive - multiple times in the same spot. Awwwww.

Sleep: I've kinda had a bad, anxiety filled, feeling sorry for myself week, and consequently my sleep has suffered a bit. I don't like it, but I'm not sure I chalk it up to pregnancy quite yet...at least not physically.

Cravings: See weight gain - but I had a McDonalds HAMBURGER. It was like heaven.

Symptoms: Sinus headaches on and off, but slightly better. Other than that, I'm at that stage where I have a teeny bump most people don't pick up on unless I'm being obvious about it - so it's not really obvious. No puking. No real "symptoms." I like it :)

Best moment of the week: I went and got my hair done. It desperately needed it - even more so once I saw the after product. I hate spending money on my hair, but I needed it for me. I picked up some extra work for a university prof so I'm justifying spending that money on me...at least some of it. It truly, truly picked my self-esteem up tenfold.

Well - and of course, now I have to add the movement part - it's the best part of pregnancy :)

kortney elise xoxo

Fantasy Picks - Round 1 Results

2011-10-23T23:04:00.000-07:00

Well...I failed.

But in my defense, so did a lot of other people. Sucky deal.

Alright so how did my choices fair?

Men:
A: Takahiko Kozuka - 3rd with 212.09...which upon second looks, isn't too terrible as the other options were Amodio or Brezina. Amodio came 9th and Brezina won, but only 4 points over Kozuka.

B: Ricky Dornbush - 4th with 202.27...not terrible, especially since the other option was Contesti who finished 8th, but then Van Der Perren - who randomly (though deservedly-ish) won the free. He got 10 more points over Ricky...but seriously, I'd pick Dornbush over Van Der Perren again next time.

C: Armin Mahbanoozadeh over Razzano (7th) and Murakami (6th). Shoot. He reeeeeally blew it finishing last. More than 12 and 13 points behind these two - should have gone with Murakami. Duly noted for the next round.

Dance:
A: Meryl and Charlie. Win with 178.07...but anyone who didn't pick them was stupid and therefore perhaps this option is nil and void anyways ;)

B: Kharis R and Asher H over the Germans and Hubbell/Donahue - 5th with 131.29. On second glance, there wasn't a bad choice in category B - only 0.32 behind the Germans and 0.28 ahead of the Americans.

C: Alexandra P and Mitchell I over Americans and Lithuanians with (gulp) 111.70 - that's a lot of fantasy points to make up considering the Lithuanians were at 132.58 (read, anyone who picked them is more than 20 points ahead of me at this point). I think she's injured. I should have known better. It wouldn't have been as terrible save for 3 falls in the short. Oh my.

Pairs:
A: Aliona S and Robin S with 183.98 over Russians (finished off the podiums, even behind my choice B) and the Zhangs who are back after a comeback season. Good choice...even though they almost blew it in the short - the pulled up from 5th to win overall.

B: Caydee D and John C with 175.40 - they did finish behind the Canadians, but only by 2 points...so I'm okay with it. Great choice over the Germans who finished last.

C: Mary Beth M and Rockne B over the other Americans (Tiffany and Don). Fail...I'm done with these 2 - and I'll be this won't go on much longer (the pairing I men) - 11 points behind the other Americans.

Ladies:
A: Alissa Czisny with 177.48...best choice over Kostner and Makarova, but only .13 seperated Kostner and Czisny, so unless you picked Makarova, it's kinda like the dance pick A...duh!!

B: Elene Gedevanishvilli with 140.12 over VHelgesson, Zhang, and Marchei. The best choice would have been VHelgesson here, simply because she ended up 3rd, but with just 5 points over Elene. Elene had a terrible short program and woulda been higher if not. Marchei finished 5 points lower than Elene, so poor choice. Zhang was just .58 higher than Elene so equal choice.

C: Haruka Imai with 142.94 over JHelgesson and Forte - best choice by far...Forte was 8 and JHelgesson (who I *almost* went with) was last. Haruka was the best pick here.

Well, on second glance, it's really only a couple picks that failed to prove otherwise. Ladies were all good. Pairs choice C set me back 11 points and the second Canadian dance team was 20 points back. Oh and choice C in men another 13 points. Okay. So I need to work on third choices a little more intently (or not). Over 50 points is a lot to make up - who'll help me next week?

And yes...I know this doesn't make sense to non-figure skaters :D It's like fantasy football - except skating.

kortney elise xoxo

PS: Last year I finished 116th of 884. I'm hoping for a top 50 finish.

Thought Pattern

2011-10-18T22:20:00.000-07:00

I've had a yucky week and I'm not sure why.

Perhaps as the nausea and vomiting party has worn off (thank GOD - no really, I am so thankful - I prayed everyday from the moment it started that it would stop) - the hormones have sunk into my body in other ways. Perhaps I was feeling too sorry for myself for puking all day long to feel anything else.

Whatever the case, I want you to know I'm not liking being pregnant.

In fact, I just downright want it to be over.

I know. I'll regret those words one day, but I don't think I'll miss it.

I'm SO thankful (no really - I prayed for my own fertility a LOT these last few years) that I am pregnant and that I'm carrying the baby we wanted and God has picked out just for us. Please don't question or doubt that. I'm so, so, so thankful.

But I think my system is shocked - overloaded? I'm not sure the word. I loved being pregnant with Alexys. Truly. I relished every moment. I don't know if it was because the hormones hit me differently. I don't know if it's because she was my first. Whatever the case, I absolutely loved it.

I'll be honest - based on the hormone surges and feelings I've had lately, I think I'll be shocked if baby 2 isn't a boy. In my mind, there's no other explanation. I think that because with endometriosis and the hormones I've been on, I have super high estrogen levels. Like abnormally high. And super, abnormally low testosterone levels (even for a girl). I think my body adjusted to that and liked it. I think babe is balancing my hormones out and my body can't handle it.

And if it's a girl - well, it's going to be a tomboy because it's not as girly as Alexys' pregnancy :)

Anyways. I'm a grump. I'm not even puking anymore and can't use that as an excuse. It's not the sinus headache I'm now afflicted with even. I'm grumpy, I hate myself, I hate everyone and anyone, and I just want it to be April.

There's no rhyme, reason, or situation happening making things worse.

It's just the way I feel. Like a giant grump who wants her body back, her hair back, her skin back, her life back - I want to fast forward to at least April. So I can whine about really being done with pregnancy. I know I'll adjust muuuuuch better to preschooler and baby than I am to preschooler and belly. Mark my words.

Because I hate feeling like this - it's radiating through my blood or something and I hate it. I hate feeling like a freaking grump.

But I do.

So now I'm going to eat a grapefruit (even though I have kanker sores) and catch up on DWTS and BOTB.

kortney elise xoxo

34 Months

2011-10-18T11:46:00.000-07:00

Petting the goat at the pumpkin patch.

Alexys is 34 months old according to my monthly email from Baby Centre. She will be 3 in just two short months. Three! It's been a while since I've done an Alexys update and I don't ever wanna forget!

At 34 months:

-You started preschool last month and are loving every minute, Miss Alexys. Your teachers, Teacher Bev and Teacher Danica, are so patient and kind with you. Your vocabulary has easily doubled and your listening skills too!

-Your words are too numerous to count, but sentences are fiiiinally blooming and happening more and more. You're using words like "to, too, you, for, the." Finally! Apparently some kids really don't talk until they're 3.

-You aren't fond of answering questions - we're working on this by always trying to offer you 2 options to choose from: Is your name Alexys or Mommy? Do you want an apple or an orange? This seems to be working. Just yesterday you told someone what your name was without Mommy prompting you.

-You say your name "A-sess-sus." Snow man has been lost and you now fondly refer to Snow White as your favourite. You still say most Ls with a W sound, but a few true L sounds have slipped out. Sometimes your Vs slip out as Ss, but not always. When you're referring to "lots" of something you say (for example): "1,2,3 Snow Whites" (no matter how many there are) or "1,2,3 cats."

At the pumpkin patch enjoying some cider!

-You don't really like to colour still...and you won't sit and colour pictures with mommy. You much prefer playing "imagination" games - any doll house will do for your princesses. You love setting up furniture in your big doll house. You're not a fan of baby dolls (oh dear!), but you're slowly starting with the barbies (as opposed to mini princesses). You're really good at puzzles that have shapes or animals and we're working on the bigger, real puzzles now.

-You count to 10 and almost never miss. You can say your ABCs, but only because you've memorized the tune. You can point out M and P...because of the elevator buttons in our condo. You've memorized nearly every song you come in contact with - including the tape of Bible Songs in mom's car. And yep, you still sing Noah's yacht, not ark!

-I have met no kid with the sense of rhythm you have. Your style of dancing changes with each song - your current fav is samba from Rio. You spin and shake...without being taught from anyone.

-I hate that you won't pose for pictures still. It drives me nuts.

-Tidbits: Shoe size 9 or 10, dress 3 or 4, stretchy pants 4 with the waist rolled up usually, jeans 3 (and flood like, but 4s are way too big so we just skip 'em), and shirts 4.

-You weigh 34 pounds which is about 80th percentile (you haven't gained in months and months!) and are 3 feet 4 inches (still 100th percentile). You have less than 2 feet until you're taller than mom. The height predictor claims within a 70% window that you'll be 6 feet 1 inch by 18. Hmmmm.

-You said "Hi baby" to mommy's tummy without any prompting or talking about it tonight for the first time! You're starting to be interested in baby's, slowly...but I think you'll be a great big sister. Once you realize baby is going to stay in the house and you have to share Mommy, I know you'll adjust just fine. That's just the kind of girl you are.

This about sums Miss Alexys up - before preschool one morning when I asked her to smile for the camera ;)

There's so much more to you Miss Alexys - you have so much personality and exuberance. I love watching the person you're becoming more and more each day.

Love Mommy xoxo

Fantasy Picks - Round 1 - Skate America

2011-10-17T23:38:00.000-07:00

Since Skate Canada offers nothing similar, I participate in the USFSA's game of Fantasy Skating. Go ahead and join in if you like to predict. I think last year I finished in the top third. Some surprises shocked me and wrecked my scores. Here's round 1, Skate America :) (These aren't predicting the podium - they're predicting the top finishers in each of the groups A, B, and C and you total their actual competition points).

Ladies:
A: Alissa Czisny (I don't know if I should have picked her or Kostner. Don't let me down Alissa).
B: Elene Gedevanishvilli
C: Haruka Imai (though Joshi H from Sweden made me double guess myself...)

Men:
A: Takahiko Kozuka
B: Ricky Dornbush (I really like what I saw last year, I hope he repeats himself this year!).
C: Armin Mahbanoozadeh (Fan favourite me thinks...though Murakami will be up there too).

Pairs:
A: Aliona S and Robin S
B: Caydee D and John C (it killed me to pick them over the Canadians, but they have something I like).
C: Mary Beth M and Rockne B

Dance:
A: Meryl and Charlie (I'll fall over dead if not first...my only easy pick!).
B: Kharis R and Asher H (I think they'll be neck in neck with Madison and Zach, so I went with the Canadians for personal country bias!).
C: Alexandra P and Mitchell I (I actually think they'll be higher than choice B...)

15 weeks

2011-10-17T23:26:00.000-07:00

15 weeks 5 days (at night so a bigger bump...seriously!)

How far along: 15 weeks and 6 (which is later than I wanted, but hey...it's one week after the last!)

Size of baby: 4 to 5 inches long - the size of an avocado!

Total weight gain/loss: I didn't get around to weighing myself.

Maternity clothes: I have one pair of maternity pants I wear regularly - but I needed to buy normal fall pants before I found out about being pregnant. So instead I got some maternity ones and will buy new pants next fall :)

Movement: Nope.

Sleep: It's normal. I wake up once to pee usually, but not always. It's not like I remember with Alexys - I remember being SO exhausted I couldn't move and that waking up to pee was sooooo terrible. I just think number 2 is easier because I'm not really recovered from a non-sleeping (who finally does sleep at almost 3) toddler. I nap sometimes, but not always.

Cravings: I ate hamburger meat in the form of nachos the other night. It wasn't a craving, but the first time in 4 months I've eaten hamburger meat consciously. I still can't bring myself to a hamburger, but maybe the day will come. I've had no cravings or aversions this week. Success!!!

Symptoms: The puking has stopped, the puking has stopped!!! I haven't puked since 15 weeks exactly, so that's 6 days of puke free AND nausea free...!!! I was beginning to prepare to be sick my entire pregnancy, but I'm really, REALLY thankful I'm not puking anymore. I've only gagged twice this week even! I am getting wicked sinus headaches though and they turn into migraines so that's my main "symptom." I also have a belly at nights that is very clearly pregnant - and just a little bump in the morning :)

Best moment of the week: Well, not puking obviously!!! Non-pregnancy related, I made a very successful cheesecake I'm super duper proud of. Alexys also stayed on the ice for all 45 minutes of skating lessons successfully. And in about 10 minutes I'm going to wake Jordon up and go and take a nap in the peace and quiet (I wrote this at 10:30 am...even if it didn't get posted then!).

Confession

2011-10-16T00:21:00.001-07:00

Today I have a confession.

I really, really, really wish I was a stay at home mom and only a stay at home mom. I am a work at home mom and its really, really tiring. I'm 4 months pregnant and yes that makes me more tired, but I still feel this way.

It's really hard to keep Alexys busy, entertained, fed, etc., all day - to pour myself into her because I believe that's what is best for her - and then to put dinner on the table and clean up. And then do bath and bedtime. And that'd all be fine and dandy if it ended after that. But then at 9pm, my work day starts. I don't type as late as I used to - I'm just too tired to focus and antsy. Physically I can't sit still to streamline my thoughts for successful work.

I've been trying to work while Alexys is at school, but when it comes down to it, that's just shy of 4 hours of work a week and it's not so helpful. I still have to work those nights to finish up. Because I don't stay up as late as before, I find myself working 6 days a week to even come close. It's hard to put your everything into your job when its 11 pm and you just want to sleep.

I've really been struggling to find a balance of being a mom, work, and me in everyday living. I really want to sit and watch TV at night. I really want to read my Bible more coherently than I am at night. I really want to just sit.

I've been making an effort at those things lately - and something else, whether work or Alexys, suffer. I don't like that either.

It's going to be a long few years ahead, I know that. It'll be harder before it's easier, and there's no solution. But whining makes me feel a bit better and serves as a reminder that short term loss is long term gain. In a few years, when both kids are in school, I can work during the day and still be there for my kids whenever I'm needed.

And then I can sit and watch TV. And I'll probably wonder what to do with all my spare time :)

kortney elise xoxo

14 Weeks

2011-10-10T08:44:00.000-07:00

How far along: 14 weeks (I'm always late with these, but that's okay - I always "turn" on the Tuesday...so I'm 14 and 6 if we're getting technical).

Size of baby: Nearly 4.5 inches - a large navel orange!

Total weight gain/loss: Well, down 9 pounds from my start weight...which means up 2 from last week. I'm slooooowly starting to feel better. Let's emphasize the slowly. Last night I felt like crap and had to take a Gravol before bed which I hadn't done in at least a week. I only puked a tiny bit today so here's hoping we really are on an upward cycle now. And I may gain 9 pounds back on Monday if I can help it...while eating turkey dinner.

Maternity clothes: Yeah, but again, only for comfort. My regular jeans and shirts still fit. I just like to be comfy. But then, what else is new?

Movement: So my random organ I felt really was that - it's my intestines. Gross. Way to move them into my ribs, baby!!! No movement yet - well, maybe a couple flutters, but nothing substantial enough to remember or count!

Sleep: I wake up once to go pee still usually or if I wake up, then I go pee...but it's good. I nap if I can, but not always. I mostly skipped the extreme exhaustion I remember with Lex. I slept bad last night, but I'm chalking it up to a one off - it wasn't anything pregnancy related, I just tossed and turned.

Cravings: Still having very specific cravings and aversions. If I've puked it up, I won't eat it...and that list is getting mighty long. Mostly I've been craving veggies and fruit, but the other day it was definitely a can of Alphaghetti. Yum. Apparently. Ooh I craved potato soup too and made a big pot that was delicious.

Symptoms: Sigh. Still puking like a mad woman...well, mostly in the mornings now versus all day, so that's an improvement. But still puking nonetheless and feeling nauseous still nearly all day, everyday. I'm starting to get a bump now, more so if I have to pee or at night. It feels bigger than it looks in the picture. Keep in mind I'm SO short-torsoed, I truly have nowhere to go but out :(

Best moment of the week: I didn't really have a best moment to be honest. It was a yucky week last week. I spent last Saturday in the hospital and then Sunday recovering. Monday, Alexys got a fever and puked all over me. That continued to Tuesday and we spent Wednesday recovering just in case. She went to school Thursday (I came home and napped...is that a best moment? Perhaps!)...so my "week" felt very short. We had a wedding on Sunday and today is Thanksgiving. My house is a disaster and I'm hoping to recover that today!!!

13 Weeks

2011-10-02T20:16:00.000-07:00

Technically I was 12 weeks 6 days here, but deal with it. Not much has changed physically when I look in the mirror, except boobs and I kind of have a gut.

How far along: 13 weeks (well, on Tuesday I was...I'm late).

Size of baby: Over 3 inches now - the size of a lemon!!!

Total weight gain/loss: Ooops - down 11 pounds now. I have faith that I'll start gaining shortly. The morning sickness is definitely easing up.

Maternity clothes: I got myself a sweet pair of maternity pants from my mom for my birthday and I've been wearing those, but mostly because they're comfy and less because I need the maternity part. I'm still wearing my regular button up jeans and everything is the same. I probably need new bras truly, but I'm not really ready to face that yet, so my bras will still the same a bit longer at least. I got a bunch of new maternity clothes for my birthday from my mom and Auntie G though so that was mucho exciting.

Movement: Nope...didn't feel Alexys until 23 weeks so I don't expect this one too early. Although I definitely feel some organ adjusting itself once in a while - it's too high to be the baby most of the time, so I'm positive it's an organ...but I get really excited for half a second :)

Sleep: I don't think I've actually fully recovered from Alexys, my (still) non-sleeping baby. She went to bed at almost 11 last night and was up just past 8. Normally she goes down at 9:30 and is up by 7:30 without prompting. She does sleep through the night now and most nights I do too. Once in a while I get up to pee around 4, but other than that all is well. I try to avoid napping (since Alexys doesn't do that either), but I do sneak one in sometimes when Jordon is home (he gets 5 day weekends every other weekend, so I let him sleep and I go back to bed when he wakes up :D).

Cravings: I'm still with the food aversion thing. Hamburgers in the form of hamburgers are disgusting even though I want one SO bad. I had one on my birthday and barfed for hours after. Big mistake. I also can only take it in minimal portions in other things (pasta sauce, hamburger soup, etc). It really grosses me out. We've eaten a lot of chicken around here. I still get the mindset of something that I want and it can't get out of my brain until I eat it. So I guess a craving, but it's so random. The other day it was cinnamon buns I smelled at the mall. So the next day I made them. Today I'm a Mr. Noodles hunt because I could smell them at the hospital and now it's all I can think about.

Symptoms: Nausea still definitely - the random gagging at things hasn't slowed at all. The puking is slowing. Other than that, the migraine I had was a telltale sign - mine are always worse during pregnancy than not (hormones, I suppose)? My boobs are bigger, but don't really hurt. I guess I'm in the "feel good" trimester now :D

Best moment of the week: When the drugs went into my veins and got rid of the 5-day migraine I was fighting. I've never felt so good this morning :)

A Shorter Note

2011-10-02T09:01:00.000-07:00

I spent 8 hours in emergency yesterday (which compared to other visits may actually be the shortest one yet). And while I had the worst migraine of my life (literally, I think I've only been to the hospital 2 other times for a migraine in my life), I was so very, very impressed with the staff running the joint. And I needed to blog about it because I feel that healthcare workers get the short end of the stick time and time again.

So sorry to the doctors and nurses who dealt with drunk injury after drunk injury...on a Saturday afternoon. I know I'll get heat for this (maybe), but if you do dumb things while drunk, purposefully (you know like go on an ATV for the first time without a helmet while drunk), and severely get hurt...I think you should be made to suffer. The fact that when told, "You're lucky to believe. There must be something else you're intended to do here before you go" and you respond, "Yah, more drinking." I can't say I wouldn't have waited for the freezing to take place.

And thank you to that same doctor, who was patient and thoughtful with every patient, including me. I had a migraine. It was pretty self-explanatory and I really just needed the drugs. Unfortunately, you have to wait and wait your turn (drunk idiots remember), so I did have to wait until 7:30 before I saw the doctor. However, as I heard her going from patient to patient, she explained things so thoroughly to each patient. She treated the young girl in there so sweetly telling her she was already a princess, etc.

My favourite part is that the girl totally didn't look the part of doctor. She was wearing jeans, crocs, and a scrub shirt. And yet, she cared. I like when you run into those people.

Thanks to the understaffed nurses - I knew one was staying overtime since there would have been only 1 nurse on in a very busy emergency room. Thanks to the ones that got me a blanket, a pillow, and lowered the bed. And got me an ice pack (that sounds like I was demanding...I wasn't. I didn't have a blanket or a pillow for the first 4 hours since they ran out). They were super personable and sweet, maintained conversation, etc. They were all great.

And thanks again to the doctor (and then the nurses) for double checking all medications to make sure they were safe in pregnancy, WITHOUT my prompting (even though I asked again to be sure). It makes me feel happy to know that a doctor read a chart before giving me drugs. It's nice for once.

And that's all. I feel better, have 2 days of followup meds, and hubby is sleeping in today (Friday night he went to a stag, got back after 4, slept only till 9, and dealt with poor sick me all day...he does worse on less sleep than I do). I'm not really sure what to do at this moment. I don't have any morning sickness (yet, hopefully something magical happened while I was there and it's gone :D) and I don't have a migraine (which I fought for over 5 days). I desperately want a morning cup of coffee (the smell has made me nauseous in the morning since I found out I was pregnant and I so totally miss it), but I don't want to push it. So I'm having some tea, cuddling with Lex until Jord gets up, and then off to make up a lot of missed hours of typing this week (due to said migraine).

I just wanted to write a thankful post to the people who dealt with me yesterday. Thank you. I'm sure you don't get it enough.

kortney elise xoxo

Why I Chose a Midwife

2011-09-27T22:43:00.001-07:00

So I'm blogging in the car. Because Alexys needs to nap and that's where she fell asleep and I have nothing else to do while I sit here...so blogging it is.

So let's go with...Why I Chose a Midwife this pregnancy. Ready? Go!

So with Alexys I didn't know I was preggo until I was 16 weeks. This doesn't really leave an uneducated person time to research things - so I did what my friends did...I called up the local maternity clinic and got myself in. Even if I had known about midwives then, it probably would have been too late as most midwives fill up fairly quickly early on.

So let's reflect on that. I saw approximately 10 different doctors (not OBs, just family practioners that rotate). I did not meet all of them. My appointments were short (5 minute to 10 minute range) and my questions were answered, but barely. I weighed myself, peed on a stick, and they measured my stomach. We listened for a heart beat and they took my blood pressure. Unless we asked, they didn't say what either were. I was uninformed unless I pushed my questions.

When I went into labour, I went to the hospital at 3 am to be checked, got sent home because I was 1 cm (good call...by a nurse), and eventually went back at 11 am. I did not see a doctor until around 5 pm. I got a doctor I met once, who I found rude, and I didn't like. The nurses did 100% of the help, checking, and encouraging. When my doctor finally came to check me around 8 pm, she decided she needed to call the OB on call at the hospital and she did the rest of the work. She was great (the OB).

Anyways. That was it. There was zero reason to have a doctor at the birth, seeing as the nurses and OB did everything.

Fast forward to this pregnancy. I saw my midwife at 5 weeks pregnant - she explained what they believed (and that is in choices and informed decisions by the family), their role in pregnancy, etc. At 5 weeks, when a doctor won't even see you, my midwife said the unthinkable - she asked me if I had questions! We chatted on our visit was almost 30 minutes...at 5 weeks! What else did I learn?

I will see my midwife no more often than a doctor, but appointments are 30 minutes to an hour.

There are 4 midwives and I must meet all of them - I've met 2 and my next 2 appointments are arranged to meet the other 2.

You have choices in your prenatal care. I didn't get tested for HIV or hepatitis this time 'round - they use my previous blood work and when I say that me and my husband have only been with each other since Alexys, they trust us...in medical practices, they assume the worst. I know it really isn't a big deal, but to me having your provider there for you and trust you is important to us. They offered us the IPS and similar early testing and let us know risks AND benefits...before we were told there are no risks. How can you trust someone who flat out lies? I can't. We have chosen to get the 20-week ultrasound, but again it was offered as a choice. We turned down gestational diabetes testing and opted for random glucose testing through pregnancy which, again, medical providers wouldn't allow - this is also a better indication than the outdated GDT test of drinking syrup and waiting.

What else? We were explained what happens if you're pregnancy becomes high risk at any point. In the first or second trimester, your care is immediately transferred to an OB. In the third trimester, you're still transferred, but the midwives stay involved. Same deal at the hospital - the on call OB at the hospital is called right away and they remain with you as labour support.

Speaking of labour, when you believe you're in labour, before you go to the hospital, they come to you, at your home, and check you. It saves that trip to the hospital while having contractions. As soon as you decide (together) that it's time to go to the hospital, then they are there....start to finish. Less pressure on over worked nurses...someone who knows you while you're delivering - shocking, I know. And again - any risks? OB called!!!! (This was my mom's concern because Alexys was a vacuum delivery). I wonder if I'd had proper support, stayed at home longer, etc if Lex still would have been a vacuum delivery.

Some people are concerned midwives don't give drugs - while we are hoping for a drug-free birth, your midwife helps you have the kind of birth you want - drugs or no drugs.

I think my last point is to touch on people thinking midwives are outdated and uneducated. I will caution that those people do exist and there will always be horror stories, especially (at least from what I've read) in the States. In BC, a midwife goes to school for FOUR years at University to learn about normal birth. They have a Bachelor's in Midwifery. Four years learning patient care, normal delivery, etc - remember any problems are a transfer of care. Now think about this - in their years of medical school, doctors learn for no more than FOUR HOURS about a normal birth!!! Four HOURS vs four YEARS...on the same subject. Even if those doctors go on to become OBs, never is the time spent on normal birth...it is spent on emergencies and problems in pregnancy.

And so to me that's where the logic lies - I will pick someone who spends time learning about normal birth for my normal pregnancy - I have no risk factors etc at this point. If, God-forbid, an emergency occurs, I will go to the person trained in emergencies. Logical no? This frees OBs from normal care to focus on high-risk/emergencies, completely frees GPs from doing something they're not even really trained in, and gives me a better birth. Win-win-win.

Alright. I've babbled on forever and my kid is still sleeping, but now you know why I've chosen to see a midwife :)

kortney elise xoxo

PS: I'm also blessed to live in BC, where midwives are 100% covered by our health card. I know other provinces are not as lucky!

My Big Girl Skating for the First Time

2011-09-23T14:02:00.001-07:00

12 Weeks

2011-09-22T12:43:00.000-07:00

I copied this from Jaclyn with what she did while she was pregnant. Again, really, it's easier for me to write this all down now so that I have it for my scrapbook and pregnancy album, rather than try and figure it out. I like recording things here since it's quick, easy, and I'll remember :)

How far along: 12 weeks

Size of baby: The size of a peach - about 3 inches long (perhaps that is why I've been craving peaches lately?)

Total weight gain/loss: I've actually lost 10 pounds at this point from the puking...I haven't puked since Sunday though, so I expect that to change shortly.

Maternity clothes: Nope. Some of my pants that were tighter fitting around the waist aren't comfortable, but mostly they fit fine.

Gender: I'll leave this one this time, but delete it after this week because I don't need to say it every week - we'll find out in April when baby comes what the gender is.

Movement: Nope - although I moved really awkward the other night on the couch and I swear my entire gut/placenta/organ/something pushed forward so hard on my stomach - I know better, but it almost felt like movement. Not necessarily the baby...just a gut wrenching movement. Very strange.

Sleep: Sleeping just fine. Alexys started sleeping through the night a couple months ago and so I have been too - the last few days I've woken up once about 2 am to go pee. I usually wake up and pee when Jordon leaves around 6:30/7, but if he's off, I don't wake up. I try to avoid napping, but hey - it happens sometimes (especially when Jord has his 5-day weekends).

Cravings: I'd say I'm having more aversions, then cravings. And it's so to the moment - I'll be SO turned off by a food that I literally could throw up at the thought. I totally find hamburgers nauseating, ugh. That's the worst aversion. Until a few days ago, coffee was also grossing me out (and a sad thing since I drink a cup everyday normally). I get something stuck in my head though and won't stop thinking about it until I get it. The other day was peach pie (which I totally never got and I'm still pouting about). Then steak fajitas (which I satisfied). What else? Hamburger soup (funny huh?), white chicken chili (tonight's dinner), and Mars Bars (which I'm now feeling aversion to since I barfed it up).

Symptoms: Nausea, mostly now. Like I said, I stopped puking Sunday and haven't since. I thank the Gravol for the night, which I'm still taking one before bed or I wake up in the night ready to barf. I still have some nausea, but that's the biggest symptom. I'm a bit tired, but I wouldn't blame pregnancy as much as having to get up with Lex, especially on preschool mornings. I also have a pretty big gut/bloat by the end of the night. I took the above picture in the morning so you could see the skinny side of me (HAHA!). Mostly I don't think you can tell I'm pregnant, except in the evening, maybe.

Best moment of the week: When I stopped puking; hooray for Gravol!!!

Positive Thoughts

2011-09-20T10:00:00.001-07:00

Some thoughts on baby number 2 - some positive thoughts:

I took Gravol yesterday for the first time. I felt a little guilty at first, but had plenty of reassurance and personal reassurance when I could function for more than 15 minutes without gagging or puking. I only had to take one today to make it through. I can eat more food and keep it down which in turn is probably helping after the initial Gravol. I'm hoping the sickness is starting to curb itself now - I'm 12 weeks - hard to believe first trimester is done (also counting in my head - first is 12 weeks as is the last...which leaves a 16 week middle part right? Never noticed!).

Anyways. Functioning better motivated me to make dinner two nights in a row, clean up my house, and work a ton on Sunday. My house is normal again and it makes me soooooo much more cheerful. It really lifted my mood! Hence the blog :)

So thoughts on baby 2?

Gender? Like Alexys, we're choosing not to find out until baby comes out. The surprise is too amazing to miss out on. For the record, almost every symptom is opposite to Alexys so far, my MIL says boy, and all the Chinese charts say girl. We're truly cool with either. I don't have a gut instinct.

Twins? Nope! Ruled those out early on due to my massive sickness - had to have an early ultrasound which I otherwise would have skipped.

Doctor? Nope. We've chosen a practice of midwives in Langley called Grove Midwifery. We couldn't be more thrilled with this choice and it will get its own blog post soon.

Home birth? Nope. Though we've picked midwives, we'll be delivering at a hospital again. I didn't have a bad experience at all last time and feel more comfortable there. As for my home birth friends? Love ya and totally get and support you.

Names? We've maybe come up with a boy name, maybe. We have a boy middle name for sure and absolutely no girl names...middle or otherwise.

Testing? Also its own blog post seeing as though I have more choices now than I did with Alexys, being so far along with her. Let's say low intervention level, but necessities covered. Having a midwife means having someone who let's you make choices even in prenatal care as long as it/us/we are healthy.

I think that covers some of my main stuff. At least for now. It's starting to feel real - I could palpate the top of my own uterus tonight - it's just below my umbilical!

kortney elise xoxo

Preschool Thoughts

2011-09-19T09:40:00.000-07:00

First Day of Preschool - September 13, 2011

I just wanted to share a couple preschool thoughts.

My baby started preschool last week. Just twice a week for 2.5 hours at a time. She's going to Wind and Tide and I couldn't be happier (so far) with my choice. It's a "hard to get into" preschool and I had to register her last November, when she wasn't even 2 yet!!! While it's not specifically a Christian preschool, they promote Christian values and believe in what we believe in. I like that - not so in your face, but maybe touching the soul in just that certain way. Anyways. We're thrilled with our decision.

So far Miss Alexys has gone just twice to school for 1-hour each. I could see a little bit of unsureness the first few minutes when I left. I sat in the parking lot and I sobbed...but I'm also pregnant and it was only for 10 minutes. And then I sucked it up and when and got myself a Starbucks. When I got back, she was cheerful as a clam and hadn't thrown any tantrums (a mom's biggest fear, right?). I stayed behind after and asked the teacher what she thought - if Alexys would be okay since she didn't turn 3 until December. I was/am fully prepared to take her out for now if need be; I know that she is young. The teacher told me that she thought Alexys would be just fine - she had a bit of trouble sitting down in circle time, but eventually something clicked and she sat down with everyone.

The second day I didn't cry and Alexys was saying goodbye to me before I fully parked the car. She was very excited to go into school and when I picked her up she said, "No, more school." I guess she's thrilled too.

Alexys' speech is still slightly delayed - she is definitely starting to talk in full sentences now (just last night she said, "Mom, the cat is outside" instead of "Mom, yeow" which is what she had been saying - ahem, our neighbor's cat, not ours). She still has trouble answering questions sometimes, but we're working on it - I have to remember that she doesn't go from nothing to answering opened-ended questions overnight (What's your name?) - we're working in baby steps of "Is your name Alexys or Mommy?" I think I'll see progress as time goes on. We're still in touch with a speech therapist if I don't see improvement by Christmas.

This is one of the reasons we decided to put Alexys in preschool - she's really smart, but has trouble with her speech and sometimes with her listening. She's an angel 90% of the time :D I realize that most kids are like this and it's something you have to work through, but I truly felt that socialization away from mom, dad, and the grandparents would be best for Miss A. I don't see homeschooling in our future (unless she chose to maybe in high school, like I wish I could have) - Alexys and I are faaaaar too similar to work well together. Ask Jordon - he's already dreading the teenage years when Alexys and I attempt to kill each other.

Another neat thing that will come out of preschool is the little break Mommy gets. Five hours a week. Preschool is just 5 minutes from our house so close enough that I can drop off and pick up within 20 minutes, leaving just over 2 hours for me to do as I please twice a week. For now, I plan on working for those 4 hours so as to free up some evening time (read: go to bed earlier). In April, when baby comes, I know I'll appreciate those 4 hours a week it's just me and baby (and I'm sure dread the dragging baby into the car that early, but hey, that's life).

We've also come to the realization that Jordon is OFF every second Tuesday, except for in December. This is exciting news also - we'll both be getting up, dropping Alexys off at school, and taking the time to go out for coffee or just spend some us time together.

So that's preschool for the year. Even if we drop Alexys' other activities (ballet, skating) - which we might end up doing or at least postponing - we'll stick with preschool. We're both enjoying it and I know it will help my big girl thrive!!!

kortney elise xoxo

Thoughts from the Shower

2011-09-13T17:19:00.001-07:00

Since I'm having a baby, babies are on my mind - it makes sense, right? It also appears to be a popular time to have babies, this April...I think I'm up to 5 due the same week as me (and I'm not telling who, so don't ask). FIVE...the same week!!!!

Anyways. Babies are an interesting thing and I'm going to tell you something you may disagree and argue with. I really like newborns. Until about 4 months. That's my favourite. I also really like 2.5/3.

Confession? I don't really enjoy the middle part like others I know do. Lots of people I know love, love that age. I feel guilty for saying it, but it's not that I don't like my own kid or didn't love her or something like that...I just don't enjoy the age. I wouldn't want it on repeat if I had the choice.

I find it frustrating to balance everything. I find them hard to entertain. I hate that we struggle to effectively communicate. I hate doubting myself and my child and all the dumb milestones. I hate solid food. I hate their lack of mobility with the desire to move. The list goes on and on.

And yet at the same time, I made every effort to enjoy Alexys. I make this effort everyday because they are SO small. Time goes so quickly and I know that in another blink of an eye, she'll be 8. And then 15. And then married. And so while I don't enjoy the age group and man oh man would never, ever do daycare for that age group (you are saints!!) - I still enjoy my sweet girl. I take pictures to remember, journal and blog to recount memories, and pray to hold these moments close always.

So now where? Well, I'm having a baby. I know that it is going to be between the ages of 4 months and 3 years for a long time. I'm also pretty sure that this baby will be the last for a multitude of reasons and so I know I want to enjoy this baby for extra long. There are things I so look forward to: Nursing, the first smile, the first giggle...even those all nighters when they just won't sleep. I truly enjoy those moments.

And yet in nearly the same breath, I look forward to my babiest baby being 3 or 4. I look forward to our changing relationship. I look forward to the relationship Alexys and baby will have. I look forward to the more normal family vacations. I look forward to busy days and field trips. I look forward to being able to sit down and do crafts. I want to sit and play board games with my kids and let them win. I look forward to so much more than I will miss about them being babies.

And I know that all those things might not come true and that the challenges ahead are harder yet than the ones behind...but at the same time, those are challenges I look forward to. I love kids and always have, always (I always volunteered for the crazy boy group when I was a kid coaching at skating - I loved kids camp at CL - I loved being a lunchtime monitor, etc)...I just realize now that there is a certain age group I just don't enjoy. I'm just that kind of person and I think that's okay.

Is there an age you dread/most look forward to/don't enjoy/enjoy most?

I'm going to be honest here...

2011-09-10T22:23:00.000-07:00

I'm about to whine. Because whining is the only thing that makes me feel slightly better.

So if you don't want to hear me whine, go away. I'm grateful to be pregnant and excited and all that. I promise. But first I'm going to whine.

So if you don't like it, just click X.

I'm really freaking sick. I hate it. I'm sick all day. Today, in fact...I haven't kept anything down. Probably some water and a bit of coke (coke because sometimes it helps, I don't know why - apparently I'm crazy and desperate). Actually no...I've kept down a grapefruit that I ate about an hour ago. But I can feel it coming up. I'm typing this to try and think about something else.

I'm not dehydrated so there's no purpose in going to the hospital. There's not really anything they can do. Besides rehydrate me. Which I'm pretty sure I'm not.

But it really sucks. I'm just whining that's all. I'm constantly sick. I feel like a bad mom for not playing with Alexys all day and feel awful when she comes in and says "Mommy okay?" while I'm puking. Sometimes she even rubs my back. She also laughs some times. What a kid.

So I've tried about everything I can think of - diclectin (up to 10 a day with no effect), ginger tablets, sea sickness bands, coke, slurpees, papaya enzymes, etc. None of it works.

I've been hesitant to take Gravol because while some say it's safe, others say it's not.

But I'm getting desperate. I've lost 7 pounds now between puking and not eating because the very thought of food makes me want to vomit. I haven't had hardly anything with protein and all I eat is frozen fruit...sometimes. So I think I'm going to try Gravol.

Any other suggestions?
desperate, puking me xoxo

A Baby

2011-09-10T14:02:00.000-07:00

And just in case you STILL didn't get it and we're not friends on Facebook...

Yes, we're expecting another Story :) Baby #2 is due to arrive April 3rd-ish and we're thrilled. I'm just shy of 11 weeks and feeling oh so pregnant (okay, maybe just hungover actually - I can't stop barfing).

I've had a couple comments of how long this pregnancy is going to feel in comparison to Alexys - I didn't know until I was 16 weeks remember? I knew with this one at approximately 3 weeks and 5 days :) However, it really hasn't felt terribly long. I have other things in life occupying me and if I could ever get over the terrible, horrible, freaking awful morning sickness...I really don't mind being pregnant. In fact, I enjoy it. And I'm really trying to enjoy it despite the sickness - I'm 99% sure this is the last baby and therefore last time I'll be pregnant. So it's one of those things - need to enjoy it because it'll never happen again. Plus if I wish this pregnancy away, that'll mean my first baby will be almost 3.5 - and I don't want her to grow up. So I'm good with how "long" this pregnancy might feel compared to the last. If this darned heat would just ease up a bit (I'm good with the sun lasting for a while...just not 30+ degrees - I avoided a summer pregnancy on purpose, FYI).

So yep. I know a whackload of people due within days of me, and even more due within weeks, and even more the month before...and I'm sure announcements are on the way too.

We're just very excited to expand from 3 to 4 :)

kortney elise xoxo

Just in case...

2011-09-09T13:08:00.001-07:00

Just in case you missed it, some thoughts on life:

I am tired.

My hair is thicker.

I lost 5 pounds. Maybe even 6.

I really don't like pickles or tomatoes.

Dairy turns me off. Really off.

My toenails are growing at some weird fast speed - it's really creepy.

I've done a great job of keeping my toilet clean lately.

It's all about the coke.

I'm not sure about my skin - yes, no, maybe so.

My nipples are huge and I totally just admitted that on my blog.

I don't really have to pee anymore than normal - I wonder if I never recovered?

Did I mention I was tired? Though oddly not like before.

Our photo shoot makes all the difference. Perhaps you should look again ;)

kortney elise xoxo

Another Story Photo Shoot

2011-09-08T12:22:00.000-07:00

I need a nap...

2011-09-07T12:28:00.000-07:00

Dinner is in the crockpot (yum, it smells so good and it's only noon!!!).

Already had a coffee date this morning.

Laundry is all in the machine, though not yet folded.

Alexys is on her 4th bowl of soup which she has been sucking back for 2 hours. She demanded soup at 10 am.

We've been on a walk to the park and back.

I am going to take Alexys out this afternoon and try out my parents' camera they're donating to me - it's a fancy one, except digital. I love taking photos, so maybe I can experiment with it (and don't worry - I know I'm not professional, I'm shooting on auto, and I won't try and start my own business LOL).

Except right this second I'm tired. Alexys decided 6:10 am was a good time to wake up - and the sun was barely out. Not exactly the game plan today. Today was supposed to be a trial run of tomorrow. So that we could be up and ready for 9. Which we were...but now I'm too exhausted to do anything.

Think I can convince her to take a nap? :D

I also need milk. Shoot.

kortney elise xoxo

In My Mind

2011-09-06T23:22:00.000-07:00

I thought I should share where I am in my mind right now. Simply because you'd probably like to be there too. See me? There on the beach...with the smoking hot body and a girly drink with an umbrella. Yep, that's me.

Alright. I know. I've whined a lot about not going on vacation. But it's my blog...and since I'm very aware that I won't be going on vacation in some time (especially like the one mentioned above), I have to pretend and dream. Right? Right.

That's all. I'm going to bed before midnight.

It's a miracle.
kortney elise xoxo

Summer. The End.

2011-09-04T16:43:00.000-07:00

And that's a wrap (rap?) folks.

Yes, it seems summer is drawing to a close. Why is this significant to me?

Well, firstly I did nothing. All summer long. I didn't work much (mostly by choice). Alexys had no structured activity. I even feel like I got out of a great deal of cooking somehow. We spent a lot of lazy days hanging around, bonding with family here, and doing random things. Heck - I even quit all my FB games except one (which I just started). I did nothing.

I went on zero vacations. I didn't even make it to Bellingham for grocery shopping. No one came to visit me (from out of town). Nothing. We didn't go to a beach (well aside from White Rock maybe twice). We didn't have a campfire. I didn't even make it to the freaking PNE - hmph.

So yah, besides the laziness, summer kinda sucked. But it worked out well - summer ending makes me reflect on life you know. I start considering the what ifs of life...and while I choose never to regret, I always wonder. I see high school grads going to university for the first time and I'm a little bit jealous. I see people traveling and I'm a little bit jealous. I used to equate jealously with regret, but now I see it as okay - you can be happy and confident with life while still wondering if the grass is greener elsewhere...wonder is okay. Choosing to live in your situation with confidence and happiness is key. And that I do.

Summer ending this year is also a reflection on what changes are coming with what I call the next stage of life. Alexys is starting real life and consequently my choice and roll of a stay at home (...work at home...) Mom is changing. Alexys has preschool twice a week, ballet, and skating. This means life is going to run on a schedule. I think it'll be good...for both of us...but that also means establishing an earlier routine, for both of us. I am a night owl and I've always, always struggled with bed before midnight. This needs to change because getting up at 730 is what life will present - I'm still the kinda girl who functions best on 9 hours unfortunately.

This will be an adjustment to when I work and how I get me time - learning to establish me time at a rink might be key - reading a book while watching Lex skate is going to be vital. I do have those few hours a week while she is in school to work in the mornings, and I'll have to learn to do this, as well. I'm curious to see if we'll both do better under this environment. I've also established that in order to work effectively, my mom is going to take Alexys once a week for me, maybe after school on Thursdays. This is also needed as I learn to adjust to earlier nights so I can fit in appropriate amounts of work. Unfortunately, we do need the money and therefore I must work. I felt guilty about this to start and still do a bit, but I understand how much Alexys loves my mom and vice versa. As Lex is older, they both want special "Mama-Alexys" time to have a good relationship and do things together.

Again, this is good on so many levels - I just need to accept it. It's also good for me to have alone, even if working, time at this point.

So that's it. That's the end of summer schpeal. So begins the next chapter...wish me luck!

kortney elise xoxo

Just Another List

2011-09-02T23:52:00.000-07:00

I really promise some good blog posts coming. I've started a few.

Maybe when I finish this list, I'll be able to finish blogging.

I only put lists on here for my own benefit - and I guess if you want to check out what my life looks like, well, then, the lists are yours to read too :)

I have 3 files left to transcribe for the SFU professor - a 55 minute, a 35 minute, and a 30 minute. I've putting all this money directly onto my student loan that I'm still paying off (ugh). It's been nice not having to worry about it.
Work has been cut short this week, so I'm hoping to squeak in 100 minutes or so between Saturday and Sunday. It's doable if we're allowed back on. Jordon's off Monday/Tuesday, as well so I hope to get extra done then too.
Registration for Alexys for Canskate is this week (Thursday) and her helmet is on order - it doesn't start until the following week, so we're good. I would like to take her myself to a public skating session before then - that can be a goal for me this week (and seriously you should see her skates - too freaking cute!).
Preschool starts Thursday - her first class is only an hour and I think we're supposed to stay. It didn't really say either way - I think I'd like to stay, just to see - but I have the kid who kicks her mother out of anywhere as fast as she can. We got her shoes and waterbottle. I have her back pack and some fun snacks bought. I just need to put it all together (with an extra outfit in case of accident) and write her name on everything.
Ballet starts Monday the 13th - I'm good. Everything is ready...although, again, I'll write her name on everything, because I'm wonky like that.
I'm working on my PCS Seminar that I'm putting on for a skating club next Friday. It's coming along - I have to entertain, teach, and enlighten I don't know how many kids for 2 hours on ice and 1 hour off ice. Off ice I think I'll be okay - I have some videos, etc. I just need to get it down on paper in an organized fashion. On ice - well, I need to do the same and come up with some creative ideas to boot.
There's a "mom's night out" at the church where I had Alexys baptized next Friday, too - I really want to go - but I don't know if I'll have time/energy after the seminar. It would be a good segue for us to try and go back to church this year. Let's just get in a groove of getting Kortney outta bed in the morning (remind me again why church has to be so eeeeeeeearly?).
Post a bunch of stuff on the selling Facebook. Almost there - went through Lex's closet tonight, reorganized it, and put her fall stuff in, keeping some summer stuff out, just sitting out, just in case. I keep some of her stuff and sell some of it. It's like a constant garage sale. It works nicely, most of the time, until I get irritated and throw everything out :D
Little miss homemaker stuff...I also need to finish washing my floors and finding some carpet cleaner to make my carpets pretty.
Call the bank to fix our monthly fee - I keep forgetting and I know it's too high. I'm writing here so I remember. Okay.

Okay. I think we're good. My list of things to do actually doesn't feel as daunting as it could be. I have some free time this week, Jordon is home for 2 days next week (he is working 4 on, 1 off, 4 on, 5 off - the 9 in a row there kill me, but the 5 make up for it so nicely). I can do it.

That was my own pep talk.
kortney elise xoxo

A List

2011-08-22T09:52:00.001-07:00

Edited to add an update :D

If I don't make a list I'm going to forget something...so this is for me. Not for you. But I do promise some updates on life, especially some good Alexys milestones, very soon. At the moment I'm barely coherent enough to write this list (from the shower of course!). I spent the last 2 days at a judging seminar - it fries your brain - it's good for me.

To Do This Week:
~~-Get Alexys' ballet clothes and slippers.~~

-Get Alexys' school shoes and buy her "first day of school" outfit :)

~~-Wash the shower curtains (I have cloth and they smell funny).~~

~~-Exchange Alexys' skates - her feet are on a growth spurt again. Sheesh.~~

-Finish all bonus transcription with the SFU prof who hired me.

-Work a 400 minute week (as in transcription minutes in case you're wondering). Lots of bills (see above shopping list) to follow. Anyone want to babysit? Jord is off tomorrow and Tuesday, but then is going away with friends Thursday night to Monday afternoon.

-Register Lex for Canskate...~~find out when registration day is first.~~ (Registration first week in September, wahoo!!!).

-Plan PCS seminar for first week back to school for Aldergrove...best done while I'm still brain-fried on PCS from my seminar.

Ambitious? Yes.

Doable? Perhaps. Let's see how the week goes. Fingers crossed!!!

kortney elise xoxo

On a roll...

2011-08-03T20:24:00.000-07:00

Seriously my kid is hilarious.

So the other night we ordered pizza (aside - that's the good part about this colder summer - we don't order out as often because the house has been cool...when it gets hot, we order out because I refuse to even use the stove). Anyways.

I told Alexys that "pizza" was coming when the delivery guy knocked on the door.

Apparently she misheard me because when we opened the door, she yelled "Hi Jesus!" clear as a bell.

We're all thankful for pizza Lex...I'm just not that thankful ;)

kortney elise xoxo

More Gems

2011-08-02T11:25:00.001-07:00

Alexys has really been on a roll this past little while and her sentences are finally 2 different ideas being put together instead of just memorizing 2 and 3 word phrases.

Some more gems:

This morning we were watching youTube and ended up on people's home movies of real princesses in Disneyland. Alexys said "go vroom vroom princess hug?" Meaning, "Can we go in the car to give the princesses a hug?" So cute.

And for record's sake she calls her Disney princesses:
Snowman (Snow White)
Cinrella
Tangud (Rupunzel from Tangled)
Sleepy (Sleeping Beauty - who has too many names for the record...)
Bey (Belle - hard to type - she just skips the L sound)
Tinkerbey (Tinkerbell)
Princess Jasmine (not plain Jasmine - she only likes her when she's wearing a dress)
Muhan (applies to both Pocahontas and Mulan apparently)
Mermaid (Ariel if that's not obvious)

All princes are just prince :)

What else? Hmmmm.

We were at a birthday party yesterday and when it was time to go, instead of throwing a fit (as per normal), she said "No. All done home." I thought that was smart. And don't worry, we had to pick her up and leave while she kicked and screamed and it took me and Jord to get her in her carseat :)

kortney elise xoxo

Oops - this should have posted yesterday...oh well!!!!

2011-07-31T10:01:00.001-07:00

Alexys has started saying some things that I think are worth putting down in writing, if only for my own records. I thought I'd share:

She frequently cheers when I go to the bathroom and says "Mommy did it - good job!"

Her catch phrase lately is "show Daddy ____." Daddy is replaced by whoever is closet and the blank is nearly always an item like "show Daddy princess" or whatever it might be. Her favourite one at present is that she points to her eyebrow and then says "show Daddy eyebrow" and she'll point his out. I think it's so random that an eyebrow is her favourite body part. Her first time saying something besides a noun (in this context) was the other day when she was throwing a fit over something and mid-cry, she stopped and said "show Daddy crying." She ran to him and continued to cry LOL!

She's started using "go away" in combination with whoever is bugging her. The other night it was "Go away Mommy - Auntie Bre storytime." My BFF was over around bedtime and Lex adores her...and apparently more than Mommy ;)

One morning this week, she got up at 6 am (which is far too early for a kid who goes to bed at 9:30), opened my door and said "good morning, TV on?" After a bit of a discussion about the time and getting her back into bed (which yes, I'll admit I probably wasn't very nice in my tone), Alexys smiled sweetly, looked at me, and asked, "Mommy grumpy?" This kid knows how to get in my heart!

If you're on my Facebook, you've probably read these, but I wanted them a little more permanent :) I'm enjoying her talking more and more!

Live from the shower (yes Jord is at work again today!),
kortney elise xoxo

From the Shower

2011-07-29T11:19:00.001-07:00

I've just figured out how to blog from the shower. Seriously - this is good news. Jord's been working 10.5 hour days and Alexys rarely naps unless we're in the car, so my "alone" time is next to none. Jord leaves the house at 9 which is right as or right before I get up...and isn't home till 830 pm. I then promptly go to work...so me time, let alone blogging time, is next to zilch.

Alexys hangs off me all day (well almost) - see if I sit down at the computer or pick up my phone, she wants to watch YouTube. So I don't do these things often...the one place she'll leave me alone is if I'm in the shower. She'll sit and quietly watch a movie and I can hang out in the shower. I've figured out how to strategically stand in the shower to not get my phone wet, so I can check email, Facebook, or just read news. So learning how to blog from the shower? Well...I may just do it a little more often :)

kortney elise xoxo

At risk of being a bad parent...

2011-07-28T11:35:00.000-07:00

...I'm going to tell you things that irritate me about other parents. And children. You might be offended, be warned. I might just be in a bad mood and probably, if this is you, and we're friends, I'll never mention it, and you don't actually irritate me. But I had to get it out.

People irritate me when they send their kids to big fancy schmancy daycares and preschools and brag about it everywhere. It's one thing to be proud (of course we should be proud), but when you put them in daycares and schools that actually cost more than your paycheque and shove it in everyone's face, it really irritates me.

Someone told me the other day that sending their kid to daycare cost just a bit more of their paycheque every week. I don't get this and it irritates me and I think it's weird. You're going to work and sending your kid to daycare, but you're losing money (not making it). I understand people have to work in our society - I'm not judging you. But when your daycare costs more than you're making, I think you need your priorities realigned. And don't tell me that you need to get out of the house. Yes, you probably do - we all do. But I don't understand why you don't find an activity to do that is fun - if you're already losing money and are apt to do that, find something to do at night and spend money on that, and raise your kid (or perhaps just adjust your daycare provider because that's ridiculous). Because no one likes to work - and if you do, well I judge you too. Weirdo (and I like my job - that's not the problem...I still don't like to work).

People who extreme coupon also irritate me. Sorry if you're trying to save money, but it just really bugs me that you buy all this crap (literally) and have 8000 of them. Don't try and make me do it. I think it's stupid. I buy what I need, when I need it. If there is a coupon, great. There's nothing wrong with getting a deal or using coupons - but people who prepare for their grocery trip for 6 hours (literally) and then lose a coupon and have a mental breakdown at the store, yah, sorry - you irritate me, and you look like an idiot.

I could go on and on about things that irritate me.
I think I've got the things that really bug me out of my skin. If I get too specific now, people will start to be offended. So I'll shut up before I dig my grave.

kortney elise xoxo

Selling my Life on Faceboook

2011-07-27T18:10:00.000-07:00

For those of you not aware of the online world of "swap mama's" - I think I encourage it. I'm not hardcore by any means, especially since I have a strange aversion to buying second-hand (I know, don't judge). However, it seems pretty cool and is a whole 'nother world.

Basically you sell yourself on Facebook. I have a separate profile (or add by searching "Kortney Selling Story") and list all my things online. It's kind of like craigslist I suppose, but different.

Anyways - just wanted to draw your attention there. I will probably be done posting things and just browse for a while in the next 2 weeks - I want everything goooooone so that I can clear out all my junk. If you're interested (and local for most things, really) - then feel free to make me an offer. I'd say I'm pretty fair - I'll take next to anything.

There's household stuff, snowboarding stuff, skating stuff, kid's clothes, woman/teen's clothes...it's an open profile so you should be able to just browse without adding me as a friend if you don't want.

kortney elise xoxo

Rain Rain Go Away

2011-07-22T11:40:00.001-07:00

Have you ever been really freaking grumpy for no good reason? Yah, that's me today. I am tired, don't wanna work, and so fed up with the weather.

I know I don't usually like summer - and I truly don't like being overheated (unless I'm suntanning on a beach in peace with a drink my hand, of course!) - but having a 2 year old and no place to go is just stupid.

Summer is supposed to be cheap, fun, outdoor activities so that said toddler can crash at night from exhaustion...instead I have to look for indoor activities that will no doubt cost and be overcrowded because everyone has the same idea. And really you can't stay that long cuz you get a headache from 100 trapped inside for too long kids and their yelling parents.

I promise to only whine just a little bit if the sun would come out. I won't whine at all if the sun comes out and remains at approximately 25 degrees for the entire rest of the summer. Just saying.

kortney elise xoxo

TV Show Input

2011-07-18T00:46:00.000-07:00

Me and hubby AND just me alone are looking for some more TV series to watch. Those are 2 very different things keep in mind, but would love your input on both. I'm just going to list what we've watched and liked - you can base on that (I know these are long lists - watching shows together has always been one of our favourite things to do!):

Me and Hubby

Big Bang Theory
How I Met Your Mother
Outsourced
Fringe
Lost
Warehouse 13
Pushing Daisies (so should have never been cancelled).
Chuck
Community
Corner Gas
Dan for Mayor
Dexter (actually, we're not caught up on this - but can't watch in front of Lex).
Hiccups
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
Modern Family
No Ordinary Family (ditto on the canceling thing, sigh).
The Office

Shows we tried and didn't like were Weeds, True Blood (this gave me the creeps in a spiritual way, ugh), and 24.

Just Me (don't laugh!):

Glee
Secret Life of the American Teenager
Make It or Break It
Switched at Birth
9 Lives of Chloe King
Happily Divorced (though I think hubby would watch this too).
Nurse Jackie

I didn't like Pretty Little Liars (in the same fashion as True Blood) and Melissa and Joey.

Suggestions ladies and gentlemen?
kortney elise xoxo

Ugh

2011-07-16T15:50:00.000-07:00

One of those ~~days~~ past little whiles.

Hubby's working.

Mom's gone to States (and therefore can't come get Alexys).

I have a migraine.

I forgot juice when I went grocery shopping.

If I said my house was a disaster, that'd be an understatement.

I only got to have one drink at dinner last night because I drove.

Alexys won't nap.

Freezer burned hamburgers are not edible.

Subsequently, we ate pie for dinner last night.

Did I mention the disaster my house is? I'm going to have a panic attack if I turn around.

Alexys peed her pants...in my bed.

My towel rack broke.

I went to Canadian Tire to buy a new one and came out with paint. And a grump of a child.

All the curtains are shut since I have a migraine which makes my house look worse.

Alexys bit my finger so hard it's numb and has a small hole in it.

It took all my willpower and strength not to retaliate like I was 4.

I need to work since I took last night off. With a migraine.

Awesome.

I'll quit whining now.

kortney elise xoxo

Not intentional blogging hiatus ...

2011-07-15T18:13:00.000-07:00

...totally unintentional to blog for almost a week. And all my posts lately have sucked. Sorry. That's how life goes. I'm tired, this weather is making it worse, and Jordon has been working long days.

But I thought I'd share our dessert with you tonight. Cuz it's deliciously yummy.

What to do with those almost old strawberries (especially farm fresh ones?):

Homemade Strawberry Pie (almost no-bake, no gelatin):

6 c of strawberries (approx - set 1 cup of the mush-yier ones aside for smashing).
1 c of sugar (totally did 1/2 a cup, but recipe calls for 1 c - not necessary with fresh strawberries).
3 tablespoons cornstarch
2 tablespoons water
It also calls for a couple droplets of red food dye - but why on earth...? We skipped that too.
1/2 c cream cheese (beaten for whipped effect...maybe not necessary, but I did).
Baked pie crust (I cheated and bought this one - sue me).

1. Take 1 c of the more mushy strawberries, sugar, cornstarch, and water and heat in saucepan. Bring to boil and let boil 1 minute. Then set aside and cool (I didn't cool it 100% and it's fine).

2. Line pie crust with cream cheese (I think this is why you beat it - so it's easier to spread). Then pour above mix into crust.

3. Cut up the rest of the strawberries (as much, little as you want) and put them on top. Chill 3 hours.

YUM. Maybe my brain will think it's summer.
kortney elise xoxo

Day 15: The iPod Shuffle

2011-07-09T23:22:00.000-07:00

Day 15 is supposed to be "Put your iPod on and list the first 10 songs on shuffle."

I don't have an iPod.

Or even an equivalent.

So let's just talk about music instead.

In the car I listen to the radio - I have six settings and so my radio rotates from: 93.7 (JRfm-Country), 106.5 (Praise106-Christian), 95.3 (Virgin-Top40), 94.5 (TheBeat-Top40), 105.7 (Country), and 103.5 (SoftRock). I just switch back and forth until there is a song I like.

I also have a tape deck. Yes. Cassette tape deck. Right now this tape is permanently in and playing - Wee Sing Bible Songs. It includes such hits as Joy, Joy, Joy (as Alexys calls it - also known as Down in my Heart) and Mmmm and Wide (aka: Deep and Wide - but Alexys only likes the verse where we replace deep with mmm and still sing wide and fountain - she doesn't sing the 1st and 3rd verses consequently). I'm really good at Children's Bible songs right now...and it uber warms my heart that Alexys knows so many of the words.

In my once in a blue moon music listening times (one of them is right now actually!), I use grooveshark and am in the process of making more music lists than what I have. But I thought I'd figure out shuffle for the purpose of this blog and see what comes up. So here's the first 10 songs:
1. I Won't Let Go - Rascal Flatts
2. Blessings - Laura Story
3. Consuming Fire - Third Day
4. Bless the Broken Road - Rascal Flatts
5. Feels Like Today - Rascal Flatts
6. Fast Cars and Freedom - Rascal Flatts
7. Forget You - Glee
8. Hello Goodbye - Glee
9. Pure Imagination - Glee
10. There Is Nothing - Laura Story

You should also know that I've currently only made 4 playlists - Rascal Flatts, Glee, Laura Story, and Third Day *grins*

kortney elise xoxo

Day 18: Favourite Skating Music

2011-07-04T13:34:00.000-07:00

Ever?

Easy.

Tara Lipinski's Olympic Long Program.

I LOVED this music. I still love this music. In fact, I remember when my coach gave it to someone else when I was younger (or certain cuts from it) - I cried. Yes, I was THAT obsessed with Tara Lipnski.

When I'm older and decide to freeskate again (read - really old and cute) - I'm going to use this music.

The end.
kortney elise xoxo

Day 14: A Picture of You and Your Family

2011-06-24T11:24:00.000-07:00

I know that I skipped day 13 - it's an intense deep blog (well, that's how I took it anyways) - I need time to think. So in the mean time - day 14...a picture of me and the fam-jam.

I don't really like this picture of me per say, but this is the latest picture we have of us as a family, so it'll have to do - it was our random weekend trip to Seattle a couple months ago, at the Seattle Zoo. It's amazing to me how much Alexys has grown up in a few short months!!!

Day 17: Least Favourite Skater

2011-06-23T23:21:00.000-07:00

And I can only pick one? LOL.

Okay, so I feel bad writing this post - I always wonder, what if this skater stumbles upon this post? What if they're generally offended by what I've written. I keep remembering that they're just people, no matter who they are on the ice - they've all sacrificed and worked so hard for their dream.

That being said, perhaps some should take a break and skate for fun and not to win the Olympics - cuz it's not going to happen. I'm going to list multiple least favourite skaters, because I really don't just have one and I've changed my mind a lot over the years - perhaps as I've grown as a skater, a coach, and a judge.

Perhaps the top 5 least favourites? Okay, deal (and with my reasonings - because not everyone is completely horrible - combined they WOULD make the worst ever):

5. Elvis Stojko: Okay - what a diverse skater - he's made the best and worst lists on my blog :) But seriously - I was in awe of him when I was younger and admired him. And then his attitude changed and I didn't like that. And then I started re-watching him skate and I ask myself only one question - was I blind? Okay, yes, he had quads and was fairly consistent - but he wasn't a machine. He could NOT skate, had zero transitions, and holy man, I think my spins may have been better than his (and that's not saying much). I guess it's a testament to how much I've grown as a skater - and the fact that I clearly just cheered for the underdog and/or the Canadian :)

4. Maria Butryskaya: I'll be honest. I never liked her. And I thought she was mean, rude, and funny looking. She was dreadfully slow, often cheated her jumps, had the easier technical layout of her day, and I hated her landing position, even when commentators praised her for good control - I think it just looks awkward and she lunges forward terribly. She also 2-footed a lot and had funny technique going into jumps.

3. Michelle Kwan: I know, right? You're probably going, but that's the only figure skater I know - or if you're a figure skater, you may have just disowned me. Don't get me wrong - I respect her as a person and an athlete...I even dedicated this blog to her with her retirement, remember? However, I just don't get her. She's overrated. She perhaps doesn't make the worst skater list ever - obviously she had talent and was a 5-time world champion - that's talent. I just don't like her. She doesn't actually bother me as much now - and again, probably testament to how far I've come in skating, but she couldn't not make this list. I always felt her artistry forced and never natural and I didn't like her jump technique in her upper body. I know nit-picky, but hey. My list.

2. Evgeni Plushenko: Oh brother - where to begin? I can't stand anything about this guy from air position on jumps, attitude, transitions, skating skill, spinning ability...I will give him that he IS a competitor - sheesh. He's been around forever and planning on making a comeback in Sochi 2014 (a second comeback) after having back and knee surgery this month. But just because you are hardcore at something doesn't mean you're good at it. This guy truly has no transitions, I hate his bubbly air postions, can't do basic footwork, and him and Elvis could host a -3 spin club and hold positions of VP and President. Seriously. Ugh. He does claim to know he needs to work on basics and spinning to make a legit comeback in 2014 and I am curious how he'll progress.

1. Rachael Flatt: Oh my. Determination? Check. Dedication? Check. Straight-A, Standford-bound? Check. We get it. She's hard-working. And she's apparently lucky to have been born in the States when she did. She clearly would have been second class consistently in the days of Michelle, Sasha, Tara, and Sarah. But in their current drought (well, how about current inconsistencies? Mirai and Alissa both have world champion fail to deliver potential), she's lucked out. She's the best of the US. Apparently. Though the US did just fine her for hiding an injury at Worlds and performing poorly. But that's a whole different can of worms. She's slow, she's got poor air technique, she's laboured, and booooooring. Yawn. And she's never, ever packaged nicely. Just ugh all around.

Day 12: How You Found Out About Blogger...

2011-06-13T10:08:00.000-07:00

...and why you made one.

This is silly, but oh well.

My blog was started January 6, 2006 at Blogger. Here's my first post.

I actually blogged through MSN Spaces before here - but I don't have access to that - it's probably gone. Still - 2006 - that means I've had this blog for 5.5 years. I'd say that's something pretty neat especially considering I've updated it fairly regularly without too many hiatuses.

I don't know how I found out about Blogger specifically or why I chose blogger. Probably because that's all there was.

And why? Not sure - cuz I liked to write and pretend someone's listening? I just like to talk about life. And I like to write - it was an obvious choice :)

Kinda neat though. I started this blog before I was engaged. Now I've been engaged, married, and had a baby. I'd like to go through and print lots of these posts using that book thing. One day.

kortney elise

Day 16: Your Dream 2014 Podium

2011-06-06T06:26:00.000-07:00

This one is kind of dumb and repetitive, so I'll make it short and to the point...shocking, I know.

I almost skipped it.

But I'm a rule follower. Even if they're just pretend rules.

Dream 2014 Podiums (as of today):

Ladies:
1. Joannie Rochette of Canada
2. Sarah Hecken of Germany
3. Mirai Nagasu of the USA

Men:
1. Patrick Chan of Canada
2. Jeremy Ten of Canada
3. Ricky Dornbush of the USA

Pairs:
I truly could care less unless someone captivates me between now and then. I hope that Meagen Duhamel and Eric Radford are on the podium and I like the little team from Saskatchewan - Paige and Rudi. But honestly, not in love with anyone yet...

Dance:
1. Tessa Virtue and Scott Moir of Canada
2. Meryl Davis and Charlie White of the USA
3. Kaitlin Weaver and Andrew Poje of Canada

I know - a little bit North American biased save for my German girl. Oh well. A girl can dream right?

kortney elise xoxo

Day 11: Another Picture of You and Your Friends...

2011-06-05T05:22:00.000-07:00

Me, Wendy, Bre, Court, Danalee, and Lisa at Stars on Ice in May

Day 15: Predict Gold Medalists in 2014

2011-06-04T05:50:00.000-07:00

Ouch. This is hard. You never know who might spring out of no where in the next few years. Let's do a couple of scenarios:

Men: Patrick Chan.
Actually - I don't think there are many other scenarios. There will be challengers and new faces...there will be competition by 2014, but I'd probably wager that barring meltdown, PChiddy firmly has that 2014 Gold hanging around his neck. However, there is the stupid Olympic Canadian Mens Curse (Kurt Browning, Elvis Stojko, Brian Orser...) - sigh.
Who else to watch? Denis Ten of Kazakhstan, Ricky Dornbush of the USA, Takahiko Kozuka of Japan, and (unfortunately) Artur Gachinski of Russia.

Ladies: YuNa Kim.
Yep. I said it. I think she'll repeat. Well, that's one possibility, but I'm not going to bet money on it. Her heart didn't look in it at Worlds this year, but being who she is and where she's from...I would not be surprised if she pulled a Katarina Witt.
Who else to watch? Kanako Murakami of Japan, the Helgesson sisters (Joshi and Viktoria) of Sweden, Sarah Hecken of Germany, Maé Bérénice Méité of France, Mao Asada of Japan, Elizaveta Tuktamysheva of Russia, Adelina Sotnikova of Russia, and Mirai Nagasu of the USA.

Dance: Tessa Virtue and Scott Moir
Yep - said it here too - another repeat. Truly, my only prediction for someone else would be Marlie (Meryl Davis and Charlie White). I think that barring injury these 2 teams will back and forth it all the way to the Olympics and then post 2014 we'll feel a big sad top of the podium drought...except that new teams will fill it immediately.
Who else to watch? The Shibutanis of the USA, Kaitlyn Weaver and Andrew Poje of Canada, Elena Ilinykh and Nikita Ktsalapov of Russia, and Jana Khokhlova and Fedor Andreev of Russia.

Pairs: Some Russians.
They won't go defeated in their own country in Figure Skating - trust me. I just don't know which team to pick and quite frankly don't love any of them. I hope that Aliona and Robin retire before then, but I have a feeling they might not and will end up sorely disappointed. I think the recent Chinese dominance may be meeting an end. For now at least.
Who else to watch? Meagan Duhamel and Eric Radford of Canada, Caydee Denney and John Coughlin (if they last - new team), More Russians, and Sui Wenjing and Han Cong of China.

I'm sure, as always, a new face will pop up and surprise us - that's what makes the Olympics magical and special, why it's only every 4 years. But hey, educated guesses are fun, right?

kortney elise xoxo

Day 10: Songs you Listen to When You're...

2011-06-03T05:30:00.000-07:00

Happy

Sad

Bored

Hyped

Mad

Yep. Diehard Gleek.

Told my mom the other day that I swore up and down that if Glee happened while I was in high school that I would have demanded singing lessons so I could be in Glee club.

Fairly positive she's happy it wasn't.

Cuz I can't sing...but when these songs come on, let me tell you 'bout the dance moves I've taught Alexys... :D:D:D

kortney elise xoxo

Day 14: Top 5 Favourite Pairs Teams

2011-06-02T05:31:00.000-07:00

5. Aliona Savchenko and Robin Szolkowy - These are my not really, but yeah, fine kinda, fifth placers. I don't know why I couldn't think of any other pairs team I loved - maybe there hasn't been one. I like these guys commitment to creativity through the new system change over - a lot of pairs of become too cookie cutter - these guys reach for the limit and wear purple unitards. What's not to love?

4. Isabelle Brasseur and Lloyd Eisler - I think I feel compelled to include these guys - even if personal-life (his, actually - so only half) brings them down the list a couple notches. They are the first pairs team I actually remember as a kid and that counts for something...or something.

3. Jamie Sale and David Pelletier - I cried watching their long program in Salt Lake in 2002 - tears of joy and happiness because what I witnessed was magic. And then I cried when the got their marks and they were second. And then I cried again when they got the second golds awarded. I cried happy tears when they married and had a baby - I cried when they divorced. Definitely knocked them down for their personal lives and I think it's weird they still tour together. I know it's their jobs, but weird to me. I couldn't skate with an ex-husband.

2. Xue Shen and Hongbo Zhao - These guys have a love story from start to finish. From being "worthless" Chinese skaters without a hope in anywhere...their coach took them from being nothing to being Olympic Gold medalists...and then they fell madly in love, he proposed on the ice, and then they got married on the ice. Awwwww <3 They went from literally terrible little nothing skaters to great technicians to great artists on ice. They are a testament to dedication, improvement, and the beauty of pairs skating.

1. Ekaterina Gordeeva and Sergei Grinkov - I guess I'm a sucker for pairs teams who fall in love and get married and make magic on the ice. These two are my original favourites - my first email address (Haha, I can remember that!) was "katia4200" in honour of her (though I think the 4200 was just a number)...I used to want to be named Ekaterina and I've oft' considered it as a child's name. They were just so meant to be. I have her novel "My Sergei" and read it every once in awhile for a good cry. They were magical.

Day 8: Short-Term Goals for This Month and Why

2011-06-01T06:00:00.000-07:00

How perfect - it's June 1st. I can talk about June, yep, yep, yep.

Let's see. Goals? Well, I folded my laundry (the mountain high, huge pile of 4 weeks worth of laundry, ugh) - so that can't be a goal - I'm thankful for that though!

What else? June is a funny month for me - there's not much going on that I set goals towards.

Trial judge a high test day: That's happening this weekend - it's the next step in my Evaluators Promotion as a judge. I have my low test day promotion already. This one will be much harder.
Why? Because I like to check goals off my judging checklist (in my brain). This one is next.

Find and sign Alexys up for a summer activity: She's done gymnastics the end of this month, so I'm going to find something for her - haven't decided what yet.
Why? I do much better with commitments than drop-in.

Beg Anne to come visit us this month (or is it next month - this might actually be a July goal) :)
Why? Cuz I really miss her and want her to visit.

Finish my wedding scrapbook: This is a good goal. It's about halfway done. Yes, I got married 4.5 years ago. I have a lot of scrapbooking to do. This summer might be a good time to catch up sans skating. I'll aim to finish the wedding one this month, we'll see how that goes.
Why? I love scrapbooking...I just don't have time.

Get Alexys completely out of pullups: She's in panties all day at home, except for sleeping...and when we're out in public. She doesn't poop on the potty yet. That is the next step.
Why? Well duh, pullups are expensive diapers.

Double my work paycheques.
Why? Because I can and having extra money is fun and feels good.

Pay off the rest of the dentist bill: This will be done and I can't wait - it does depend on the above goal though. I have good faith it'll happen.
Why? Paying off debt feels SO SO good.

I think that's a good set of goals for now.

What are your June goals?

kortney elise xoxo

Just because - Alexys sure wouldn't share these fresh picked strawberries with her Nonno, that's for sure!

Day 7: Someone or Something With the Biggest Impact

2011-05-31T12:12:00.000-07:00

Interesting. I just logged in to edit and finish up this post that has literally been sitting here for a month. And it's gone. Guess I'll have to start at square one.

This is one of those posts I have written in a while...but something I think about everyday. I'm not sure why I don't write about it, but it seems that it's a taboo topic in the blogging world - or even in real life. We live in a world that doesn't accept, looks to argue, and hides from offending someone.

But you know me - I don't ever hold back and sometimes get in trouble for being too honest or too open. But that's just me. So here it goes.

The biggest someone or something to have the biggest impact on my life? Jesus Christ.

I beg you not to stop reading. I won't preach, I promise.

Here's the who, what, when, where, why.

I became a Christian at summer camp when I was 12. To be honest, I don't know what it meant. I just remember knowing I needed to. I did my thing and went home.

Jesus has meant different things to me at different times in my life. I think that's safe to say with anything or anyone - people are who and what they need to be in your life as your life progresses. That's just life.

When I was a teenager, I needed (and enjoyed) the "rules" of Christianity. I was a typical teenager and wanted to identify myself with something, someone. I liked having rules and doing what I was told. I read my Bible because you were supposed to. I followed the rules. I went to church. I did my own thing.

As I've grown older, my faith, thoughts, and devotion have changed. I hate the implications and thought-processes that happen when you say "I'm Christian." I hate what "Christians" have made this world into (don't defend, you know what and who I'm talking about in general terms). I hate that the church is seen with hate from outside groups - as unaccepting, as rude, as inclusive. As a teenager I always thought that "Christians" who didn't go to church were not really Christian.

And now, as an adult, I am a Christian who doesn't go to church (for various reasons, but that's another post). But my love for Jesus has grown tenfold. Because it is He who has taught me to accept people as they come into my life, to praise in good and bad, and to be who I need to be as a mom, wife, friend, daughter, sister, etc.

To me, it comes down to love. And that is the love that Jesus has taught me...and not anyone or anything else. I'm intrigued by Jesus' life and his actions as compared to how the church lives today. I compelled to live life just a bit different because of his love...with zest, passion, and desire for all aspects of my life.

As a teenager, I didn't like these verses from the Bible. I thought it was cliche. I thought it was overused. Now I see it's just misread, misused. Perhaps out of context a bit too much - 1 Corinthians 13 from the Message. I won't post it, but I encourage you to read it.

This post didn't turn out just how I want...but this song makes me cry nearly every time I hear it. It sums me and the influence of Jesus in my life perfectly.

kortney elise xoxo

Mish Mash I Was Taking a Bath

2011-05-18T23:59:00.000-07:00

...great poetry Kortney. Great (my title, I mean).

I have a lot of blog catching up to do. No seriously - I think I'm stuck on Day 13 of 30 for skating (Favourite Pairs) and I'm on Day 7 of "ME" (which is Most Influential Thing in Life) - they're both started but not finished. Among at least 3 other posts that I start and don't finish.

So instead you get my mish mash of thoughts and partial blog ideas.

Oh, because I don't have the concentrational ability right now to focus to finish those posts. Because I'm really busy, having terrible anxiety, and insomnia (though the sunshine and some melatonin are helping with that latter 2).

I bought a new book and I can't wait to read it. Except let's face it I don't have time - but I'm going to try really hard to FIND time. June seems to be fairly blank on the calendar. I say that very tentatively. Here's hoping. It's this book: Reshaping It All: Motivation for Physical and Spiritual Fitness. Yes, by ~~DJ Tanner~~ Candace Cameron Bure. I also bought this one: Skinny Bitch. I complain about being fat and hating myself all the time, but don't have the motivation to fix it. I just keep hoping it'll disappear and I'll look 16 again. Apparently that doesn't happen. Ever. So maybe one of those books will motivate me. Cuz apparently nothing else will.
I'm judging at the ~~last competition of the year~~ first competition of the new year (it falls under new rules so take your pick of how to categorize it) this weekend. I'm ALMOST done my Novice promotion. I'll just have a teensy bit left to finish at Summer Skate in August. And I'm starting my Novice dance promotion too. And I'm waiting on one more report for my Junior Synchro promotion. I really enjoy telling you about these things because while you don't care, I do...it's like checking off tests or badges. It makes my A-type personality smile and shine.
Alexys had a REALLY good day today. I needed one of those days - I was really, really starting to get down on myself for being a horrible mother. I felt like a failure. And today it made me realize - no. She's 2. There are a lot of tough days ahead and I can't always feel that way. Even if I'm A-type, mothering is not a badge to check off. Even if other parents make it seem like it is. Alexys today made me feel proud and like I told my mom, "It's much easier to play with her when she acts like this." I think it's a culmination of many things - ditching most of the baby things (all that's left are pull-ups and sippy cups...both of which are next week's projects), sunshine (and therefore more outdoor activities), and more talking. Something is clicking and I'm so glad. Even Lex's gymnastics teacher commented on her good behaviour today. Phew. I have been reading this book (The Happiest Toddler on the Block) for motivation. It is really, really good.
I still haven't told you about my new job. Or Jordon's I don't think. I've had mine since February and Jordon has had his since March. Soon. Maybe ;) We're both happier though and that's the point.
I used to get growing pains when I was younger. Really bad in my legs. I remember going to the doctor for them. I started getting them again recently. I think they're anxiety pains. I think they were back then too. Let's talk about being A-type okay? They hurt right now.
My roommate from CLBI is coming to stay with me for a night. I seriously cannot even wait. I've missed her and haven't spent serious time with her for a long time - and not one on one time since before Alexys was born at least.
I went to Stars on Ice. In one sentence: Joannie would have been World Champion this year had she competed, I wish Jeff Buttle was straight and my husband, Sasha Cohen really needs to retire especially from shows, Kurt Browning is a truly brilliant entertainer and can do more jumps than SC in his 40s, Miki Ando makes me sleepy, Takahiko Kozuka is going to give PChiddy a run for his money in 2014, and pairs skaters shouldn't be allowed to skate solos because their partner retires (yes Kyoko - you're cute, but not fabulous). Also (okay that's 2) - I don't like Jamie/David, Tessa/Scott have more chemistry than a science lab (let's cut sexual tension with a knife yes? I love it), and Shawn Sawyer is overrated also (though he's got great moves and ideas - he's coming into his own). I love it.

Bre and I - Stars on Ice 2011

There's a lot more floating in my head. But I ache all over and need to try and beat this insomnia.

OH. And I need to catch up on Glee.

That's just my own little note.
kortney elise xoxo

Day 6: Favourite Superhero and Why

2011-05-09T10:10:00.000-07:00

I'm not going to lie. I don't have a favourite "superhero" per se. Like Batman or Catwoman or something. I just am so not into that. In fact, the Incredibles are about the only "superhero" movie I've ever liked. I think. Something may be escaping me, but that's where I stand at this hour with only half a cup of coffee ingested. So deal with it.

Instead. I'd like to tell you about 2 of my heroes. Yes, 2. One IN my life and one who is famous and technically doesn't even know me.

The first, you can probably guess.

I've written about her only a trillion thousand times :)

Miss Joannie Rochette.

Obvious? Perhaps. So I won't go into TOO much detail. Just highlights, since I talk about her all the freaking time. Even before she was famous and winning World medals :)

Courageous - What she did at the Olympics took courage - her mom was her biggest fan and it took guts to get out there with the weight of a country, your family, and yourself on your shoulders.
Beautiful - I'll admit. Joannie isn't a supermodel. But she's REAL and that is what makes her beautiful. She carries herself well and her beauty shines from the inside out. You know those people who get prettier as you learn about them? She's one of them.
Determined - What you might not know about Joannie is that she's not a teen phenom. She's 25. Most female skaters peak in their late teens. Joannie is one of the few who has gotten better as she has gotten older. In the Olympic year, she was the only femaile skater NOT to receive an edge call or underrotation (this is bad - it means taking off on the wrong edge or cheating your jump). She is powerful, strong, and graceful. She never gave up, even though she was much older than a lot of girls competing.

I could probably go on forever. I am plotting a way to meet her next weekend at Stars on Ice. Anyone have any inside connections? :D

The other hero in my life - the one who is actually IN my life - well. You might guess her too.

She's beautiful, even if she doesn't know it. She has the strength of 3 women. Inside and out, she inspires me. She is smart, witty, and cracks me up constantly. She makes me smile when I'm down and encourages me when I'm frustrated. She has great style and is the shopping queen of the Universe (seriously - no one can out shop her!). She is the best to Alexys and spoils her rotten...with love. She taught me how to believe in myself and stay true to who I am no matter what. She gave me confidence and made me who I am today.

I could go on longer than forever. I'd be lost without her.

My mom is really my hero.

Truly.

End cheesefest. I love you mom (and Joannie...you know, in case she stumbles across this blog!).
kortney elise xoxo

Born This Way

2011-04-29T23:12:00.000-07:00

Do you watch Glee?

You should.

But no matter. I'm addicted. But don't worry - this post is deeper than that. Lucky you. I've been all deep and stuff lately. Or something like that ;)

I can sincerely say that I wish Glee was around when I was in high school. It's so inspiring to embrace who you are. And this episode, "Born This Way" was so incredible for promoting that. Yes, it's cheesy and the characters are expected and obvious. But somehow, with the music, it transcends that. It gets the message out there, that being okay with who you are is COOL.

And I every teenager *needs* to hear it.

Heck. I need to hear it.

On a regular basis. I'm me and that's good. You're you and I'm okay with that. Let's just all love each other, k? Acceptance. Love. (Peace and rock and roll? Maybe!).

This episode got me thinking though.

SPOILER ALERT.

At the end of the episode, all the characters come out in a T-shirt with something they struggle with that they were "born" with - either something they can't change and need to accept or something that they need to accept in order to change it. On the show the shirts read:
-brown eyes
-four eyes
-nose
-likes boys
-no weave
-bad attitude
-butt chin
-ocd
-lucy caboosey
-lebanese (ahem, lesbian :D)
-i'm with stoopid (pointing up)
-i'm with stupid (point down)
-can't dance
-can't sing

And it got me thinking. What would my T-shirt say? What's that one thing about me - the one thing that I can't change that I was "born" with. When I was younger, my shirt probably would have said CURLY HAIR. Oh how I hated my hair when I was in high school. I even had it chemically straightened. Not anymore. I love my hair. There's a few physical flaws I have, but nothing I'm truly stuck on.

And then it hit me.

My shirt would say CONTROL FREAK.

Because I am. And the multitude of panic attacks and anxiety attacks and feelings of overwhelmedness I've had lately are because I'm a control freak. The typical, beyond organized, type A.

But that's a whole 'nother post 'round the corner.

For now, I just want to order my T-shirt.

What would your T-shirt say? Would it have said the same thing when you were in high school?
kortney elise xoxo

Day 5: A Picture of Somewhere I've Been

2011-04-28T22:58:00.000-07:00

England, en route to Italy in 2003 - I'd like to apologize to my mom and dad for this era of clothing. And also the person who invented this as cool should be shot. Ugh. We only went to England because we got stuck in the British Airways strike of 2003.Worked out for us though - we spent 2 or 3 days in England discovering a country with gross food and interesting heritage...that we never otherwise would have.

My Nonno and Nonna's (dad's parents) 50th Wedding Anniversary in Italy 2003 (I remember being mad about having to "dress up and cover my belly." Sheesh). My memories are blurry, but I know we went to the church they got married at to celebrate and then to another church as well. It was super neat though to be able to celebrate 50 years of marriage!!!

Somewhere in Italy with my baby brothers. Please note both brothers waaaaay tower over me now. This is also 2003. This is one of the more covering shots of me. At least I was confident in myself. And rightfully so...but again, mom? Sorry for this stage ;) (Mind you, I'd kill to be "able" to wear that shirt now - people might throw things at me if I did now...and not just for being out of fashion, haha).